To feel at times that I live on an entirely different planet to other MNers?

[RozDoyle]

I'm not criticising. This place is great. I have had some amazingly advice and support from people here and it's brilliant. But sometimes i feel like I live in a completely different world to a lot of posters here. I probably won't articulate this very well but I'm going to have a bash.

Examples:

• little boys in dresses/the whole "gender neutral" thing. Literally all the parents I know irl just dress their kids in clothes typical to their sex i.e. Boys wear "boys clothes" and girls wear "girls clothes" and nothing is ever said about it. I have never seen a little boy in a dress, for example, because they'd likely be told not to wear a dress in case they were teased. Sad, but true..

• parents who cook every single meal from scratch. Always mega healthy and nutritious, and talk about it like it's the norm. In my world, most parents work and are simply too busy to cook from scratch every night (or too tired). No one "batch cooks" at the weekend. Its just whatever they can chuck in the oven after a hard day.

• how quick people are to shout "LTB". Now I should emphasise that I am not talking about cases of violence, cheating etc. But things like, a husband not pulling his weight around the house. In my experience, most people can't, and don't want to, leave their husbands, to whom they have children, for issues such as that. It's an extreme solution and it makes me wonder if these same people would really walk out of their marriage over such trivial matters.

I'm sure I have loads more examples but I can't think of them right now. Just wondered if anyone else feels this way?

I am constantly amazed by how Scottish everyone is.

The attitude to risk - never ever leave the washing machine going when you are out of the house, don't leave your DCs in the house if you need to go out to the car to get something, don't leave them in the car if you need to go into the house to get something.

I don't know a single person in real life who lives with the constant paranoia that their house will catch fire and their children will be kidnapped but it's mandatory here

And also the total and utter lack of compassion towards other people who have suffered loss when it involves your own baby
I've seen a thread where someone wanted to bring their newborn to a funeral of a baby where the parents had asked them not to, and most of the replies were supporting the baby going, with comments like 'they can't hide away from other people's babies forever' and 'it might cheer the parents up' and 'why should you be separated from your baby just because they say so'
Many many similar threads about people with infertility, miscarriage etc also

I don't like opening my door.I like my peace and quiet.I hate people outstaying their welcome.

Dd went for an interview at a local college. They expressed shock at how good her grades were and asked if they were her actual grades. When she came out and told me the first thing I thought of was mumsnet and how people told me to have her tested for SEN because those grades were really rather poor

If my doorbell rings I run upstairs look out of the window, see who it is then choose whether or not to answer.

LTB annoys the fuck out of me tbh, having LTB myself.

The reality is not kicking him out, changing the locks and staying in your lovely family home 'til your children finish full time education.

I do batch cook and cook from scratch sometimes though

If a poster is having financial difficulties the chorus of 'do dog walking, baby sitting, take in washing/ironing' as if it's there's a wealth of people out there desperate for these services and have the money to pay for them.

I don't get annoyed by people who don't do gender neutral, don't have more than one degree (I have a couple myself), and cook from scratch. I think it's interesting and a valid way to live.
^^ This. And I find it reassuring that more people are admitting to anxiety because I don't have to feel like I'm some sort of freak, and I am very introverted as well as having Asperger's & OCD so I find communication & life generally a lot easier when it's at a distance from others. And I have more than one degree & my own business, but I'm not raking in £000s because of the communication issues. I love hearing about people batch-cooking even though I never manage it myself. And I'd rather stick a note through a neighbours door because it's the only way I can manage to be vaguely assertive in that sort of situation.
But I do agree with there being too many LTB comments when a man fails to put the toilet seat down, and I don't understand why people who live together (and therefore presumably can communicate verbally) can't just exchange a few words rather than expecting others to read their minds.

My "other planet" on here is the amount of laundry some people must do- apparently all sheets in house changed at least once a week, fresh towels after every shower for a family of 4 who all shower or bathe twice a day ( that's washing 56 towels a week!) anything that's been worn can't go back in the wardrobe. How does anyone really keep up with this level
Of laundry?

If a poster is having financial difficulties the chorus of 'do dog walking, baby sitting, take in washing/ironing' as if it's there's a wealth of people out there desperate for these services and have the money to pay for them.

Yes, and then if the poster says 'well actually, there are very few people in my area who need those things/could afford to pay for those things' people will leap on them saying that they clearly don't want to help themselves.

Cooking from scratch doesn't have to mean anything very time consuming. Nutritious food doesn't have to take long to cook. It doesn't actually take longer thinking "fish fillets" than "chicken nuggets" if you are used to thinking about fish fillets.

Posters who are a bit older (like me) grew up in a world where babies' clothes and children's toys were less rigidly colour-coded (you can easily check this by looking at old catalogues). It's the idea that a baby girl must only be dressed in pink and play with pink toys that is an innovation, not the idea that she can have a navy jumper and play with the same colour toys as her brother.

As for anxiety, figures are probably skewed by the fact that an internet forum is a good place for people with anxiety to interact.

I have no idea what Hush clothing looks like and am too fat for a ruched skirt anyway.
I'd never LTB over something minor when I can dredge it up time after time and make him thoroughly miserable instead.
My freezer is so rammed with fish fingers and chicken nuggets that there's no room for batch cooking, even if I was that way inclined.

It's a bit herd mentality ish isn't it? I see a large proportion of mumsnetters as being a bit 'alpha mum' and this is a forum where it's ok to be 100% perfect mum all of the time. In real life, the 'normal' 80/20 mums who try their best but still cut corners for a happy/peaceful/manageable life are the norm, the majority (and all make faces at alpha mums) - but on here it's sometimes like people's alpha tendency can blossom. I don't know if you bake homemade sugar free flapjack with organic, locally grown plum juice, but it seems to be that some (and it is only some) seem to think that they should. So they say that they do. And all the other alphas say they do, and all the aspiring alphas say they do too, and suddenly you've got an entire population of toddlers who've never eaten a bourbon.

It's better that it's on here and not in real life though.

I'd never LTB over something minor when I can dredge it up time after time and make him thoroughly miserable instead.

A little bit of my coffee landed on my newborn's head at this.

Whoops!

I'm saddened sometimes by lots more meanness since I first arrived here many moons ago.lots more harshness to people who rightly or wrongly have an issue.
some of our most powerful thoughts are nonsense but they still matter or hurt us or effect us.so to come and see people on her almost bullied over putting it onto a post I find really uncomfortable.

Still confused here.It takes 5 seconds to remove your coat.Why would you start tea 'in your coat?'Not adding up sorry............ Makes no sense.Is the 'I started tea in my coat' line for effect?

Well, most things I write are probably "for effect" in that it was an evocative turn of phrase, but EssentialHummus elaborated perfectly so I don't have to.
I'm sorry you were so bewildered by it.

Anyone who comes on here expecting it to look exactly like their life is being a big weird though aren't they?

If this was ctually everyone's life then active convos would be
'just went to the supermarket. Couldn't get any pineapple'
'The cats off her food. Wonder if she's poorly'
'The tv is a bit crap tonight'

People post on here about things they think are worth posting about so that will be things that are bothering them but they can't talk about in real life, stuff they are feeling great about but don't want to brag to people they like, situations they experienced that felt odd or frustrating.
People want others to react, who wants no replies, so I suspect they are exaggerated or crafted and some are outright trolling.

Of course it's not a reflection of anyone's everyday life.
I wonder about a lot of stuff on here and I accept I'm odd compared to some collective views but that doesn't make me from another planet and I think there is absolutely a tone in here that is being really snide .

There are loads of reasons why people cook from scratch, why they post 'ltb', why they have the attitudes and outlook they do and yes, some of them will be absolute wankers but looking down on everyone who is different to you is horrible whoever does it.

I find MN very wierd. I think I am 'pretty normal' and 'middle of the road' and don't have particularly 'extreme' views.
And then I read MN. And I'm not quite so sure!!

Can someone tell me what the toilet brush issue is?

Agree with you OP, except about LTB.
Lots of women accept crap relationships. Those who post LTB are in good relationships and know things could be so much better. And it is not over petty things. It is over behavior that shows the man does not respect her or really love her.

YANBU.

Mumsnet is full of the complete batshit. They cannot possibly live and exist in the real world.

I really struggle with how literal everyone is on here. It's like some people have never had any human interaction at all and don't pick up on any underlying subtext which is very obvious!

I am constantly amazed by how Scottish everyone is.
I'm afraid I can't help it.
A lot of Mnetters say they speak with an RP accent. When I point out that it is an accent they go in the huff