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Original poster

Dd just told me she doesn't believe in father christmas. I feel really sad.

146 replies

jmh740 · 09/09/2017 21:19

Randomly chatting watching x factor and 10year old dd said she doesn't believe in father christmas any more. I feel quite sad it's like the magic has gone, I've told her not to tell her 8 year old brother. Half of me thinks I should have tried to convince her he does I was just a bit shocked it came from nowhere.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 09/09/2017 21:20

Ds questioned from age 6 and we admitted it when he was 8. 10 years is well old enough to know it isn't true.

EyesUnderARock · 09/09/2017 21:21

At 10?
She's been kind to you for a long time, make it a shared secret between the two of you. Most children have stopped actually believing when they hit ks2, but they like the fantasy.

BrutusMcDogface · 09/09/2017 21:23

10!!?? I am very glad you didn't try to persuade her otherwise!

isittheholidaysyet · 09/09/2017 21:28

We have always felt uncomfortable about doing father Christmas (lying to your kids etc) but have gone with the flow.

Now my 12 year old doesn't believe I can have great fun with him:
Well, fr Christmas won't bring you anything...
That's the kind of thing fr Christmas brings, you'd better ask him...
I'm phoning fr Christmas...
You'd better go to sleep quick or...

All with a wink and a smile. I never did any of that when he actually believed.
The magic doesn't have to end, just because he doesn't believe.

Whatamesshaslunch · 09/09/2017 22:01

I don't get it? Father Christmas still visits me? Wink

Wolfiefan · 09/09/2017 22:05

She's 10! Shock
Christmas isn't ruined once they don't believe. It's really not.

mogulfield · 09/09/2017 22:06

She's known for ages, most kids find out at 7/8.

Original poster
jmh740 · 09/09/2017 22:06

It felt a little bit like she wanted me to tell her of course he's real, she also said she knows the tooth fairy is real because me or her dad wouldn't be able to get money under her pillow without waking her up.

OP posts:
Original poster
jmh740 · 09/09/2017 22:07

I work in a school and most of our 7,8 and 9 year olds still believe.

OP posts:
EastMidsMummy · 09/09/2017 22:08

At TEN??? I thought you were going to say she was four or five!

If they've not worked it out by the age of ten I'd be worried about their intellect.

Original poster
jmh740 · 09/09/2017 22:09

Wolfe I don't think christmas will be ruined but I just love all the magic of father christmas. I have made her promise not to tell ds but I think she could blurt it out in a temper, we will just have to wait and see.

OP posts:
Whitecurrants · 09/09/2017 22:11

We’ve never tried to get our DD to really believe, but we’ve always all pretended we do - leaving out mince pies, notes, whisky, carrot etc. He always leaves a thank-you note. Stockings are also essential.

Original poster
jmh740 · 09/09/2017 22:12

My 22 year old still has a stocking so don't think she will want to give hers up just yet

OP posts:
NotTheMrMenAgain · 09/09/2017 22:14

I'm nearly 42 and I still get a stocking!

Lovingmybear2 · 09/09/2017 22:15

I worked in a school and some of our 7/8 year olds belived.

Never met a 10 year old who did but they often like the magic and pretend

Ellieboolou27 · 09/09/2017 22:15

10 is a good run to believe in Father Christmas!
Agree that by 7 or 8 they realise.

chasingstarsthisevening · 09/09/2017 22:16

They stop believing when they are ready to stop.

Never be sad that your children grow up.

The alternative is worse!

Lovingmybear2 · 09/09/2017 22:16

And Christmas is never ruined unless you ruin it.

Kitsandkids · 09/09/2017 22:16

I don't know if it's true that she didn't believe for ages. Mine are 9 and a half and 8 and a half and still totally believe. I'm actually getting to the point where I want them to realise the truth as the older they get the more I feel I'm out and out lying to them. The minute they say to me 'is he really real?' I'll tell them the truth, but at the minute they're not asking; they just talk about him as a fact. I now have a baby as well so I hope to involve them in the 'game' of Father Christmas/Santa over the next few years with her.

AvenuesAndAlleyways · 09/09/2017 22:18

DS was about 9 or 10 when he stopped believing but said he would keep pretending for his little sister's sake - I was so proud.

AdalindSchade · 09/09/2017 22:20

At 10?!
My ds is 9 and I hope he works it out this year, anything beyond 9 is a bit weird

MadMags · 09/09/2017 22:23

My ten year old still 100% believes.

There's always this weird competitiveness on MN about Santa.*

My child stopped believing at 2

Well my foetus stopped believing

Just ignore it. It's ok to be sad. It's a little sign that they're growing and a little bit less magic.

But your Christmas can still be wonderful with new traditions etc.

*I'm not English, before anyone makes some smart arse comment about santa -v- Father Christmas.

MadMags · 09/09/2017 22:23

Ah. Case in point as I was typing.

Lovingmybear2 · 09/09/2017 22:27

I don't think it's competitiveness it's just other people's experiences.

It's also if you think Father Christmas is the be all and end all of everyone's Christmas it never was of ours.

I hated it as a child and we never really bothered with that with our kids but trust me Christmas was magical.

You don't need Santa. IWink

BeccaAnn · 09/09/2017 22:28

my exH told our son last year because he couldn't be arsed to do a stocking. I offered to do it of him and surreptitiously send it but no, he'd rather have a distraught 7 y/o on Xmas day.