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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dd just told me she doesn't believe in father christmas. I feel really sad.

146 replies

jmh740 · 09/09/2017 21:19

Randomly chatting watching x factor and 10year old dd said she doesn't believe in father christmas any more. I feel quite sad it's like the magic has gone, I've told her not to tell her 8 year old brother. Half of me thinks I should have tried to convince her he does I was just a bit shocked it came from nowhere.

OP posts:

Copperbeech33 · 09/09/2017 23:01

copperbeech33 you have never met a child in real life that believed in Father Christmas? Really??!! What world do you live in then? A very sad one

Nothing sad about Christmas in my world, I think it's this Santa crap that's properly sad.

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 09/09/2017 23:02

Across the pond- yes, that's so true! I can remember when I finally did tell my Mum I no longer believed and wondering if I'd only ever get one Christmas present from them for ever after.

Silverstreaks · 09/09/2017 23:05

Madmags out-cunt each other about santa 😃

BadTasteFlump · 09/09/2017 23:15

Well my foetus stopped believing

Ha perfect example of Mnet at its' snotty best

Soci · 09/09/2017 23:18

There are still so many other wonderful things about Christmas. But I guess it's up to her to find out what Christmas means to her now that she knows Santa isn't real.

yellowutka · 09/09/2017 23:23

I told all the other kids in my class he wasn't real when I was 5. Consider yourselves out-cunted!

steff13 · 09/09/2017 23:25

I still believe in Father Christmas and I'm 53. Just waiting for the Christmas Movie Channels to start.

Me too. In our house, if you don't believe you don't receive.

ButtonMooooon · 09/09/2017 23:28

Disclaimer; There are some people on this thread who will have no idea what any of this means:

Watching Brookside on Christmas Eve with my parents and Katie Roger's parents were wrapping her presents and having a conversation about whether or not it would be the last year she believed. I smiled and said to my parents shall I pretend I didn't see this. I think i was about 10. I had known for a few years. Parents had no idea how to tell me and were mortified I had know for ages was scared I wouldn't get any presents

Odd how the exact details of it have stuck with me though and will out me to DM if she's on here (hi mum!)

Topseyt · 09/09/2017 23:31

I never really get why this seems to be such a big issue to some people. Whether or not my DDs believe in Father Christmas doesn't bother me at all.

umbongokid · 09/09/2017 23:31

I read something interesting about how when children start not to believe, you tell them this story about how when you get older you become a 'santa'. It was very sweet, and convincing, and it may soften the blow. (For you and her!)
I personally think you've done extremely well to get her to 10 believing.
I never believed because my cousin told me he wasn't real when I was about 3.

catrin · 09/09/2017 23:54

If I came on MN and said that my dd believed in god, it would be considered bad form to assume her to be anything other than entitled to an opinion. But some utterly bitchy posters think it's acceptable to comment on a child's intellect because they believe in Father Christmas. You vile, vile creatures.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 09/09/2017 23:59

If they've not worked it out by the age of ten I'd be worried about their intellect.
Ridiculous. I'd say the imagination needed shows a lot of intellect.
Never known a child that believes in fc? Ha, yeah ok
What a load of old miseries on here

EastMidsMummy · 10/09/2017 11:01

I'm amazed that any child these days can get to the age of ten and still believe in X Factor.

Gorgosparta · 10/09/2017 11:10

My dd likes Christmas even more now shr knows.

She gets involved in playing santa for ds. Helps wrap his presents, makes sure the reindeer carrots disappear, sneaks a small stocking in his room etc.

She likes making the concept of santa special for him and being part of it.

Most kids know by 10 and should know by year 6. Loads of then will say they brlirvr just incase they dont get presents. If their parents have told them they have to believe to get them. Not something i would do. But by the time they actually admit it, they have been pretty sure for a while.

fantasmasgoria1 · 10/09/2017 11:16

I knew at 5! I found a letter I wrote to santa a few months later that my mother had hidden! I asked her why it had not been sent then sort of guessed! My mum always told the truth when asked so she told me and asked me not to tell my brother which a couple of years later I did cos I was a a little swine at times! It never bothered me and I actually sat and thought about it at five , the dynamics of santa getting into the house etc and realised it just was not possible!

x2boys · 10/09/2017 11:20

ButtonMooooon I used to be a big Brookie fan and remember the Rogers family well

DameDoom · 10/09/2017 11:25

I teach the oldest primary kids and we all collude that Santa exists. It's an unspoken law and the vast majority of them are complicit in the deception.
If anything, it makes it all the more charming - especially when they go over the top recounting their 'real life experiences' of actually meeting FC to the younger children.
The magic definitely aint gone.

Natsku · 10/09/2017 11:27

if you don't realise that Santa comes down the chimney and fills stockings

He doesn't in my country. Instead he comes knocking on the door at some point on Christmas Eve and hands out the presents after a chat with the children to make sure they've been good and sometimes the children have to sing a song first to him before they get their presents.

I've told DD a few times that he's not real (because she was really scared of him at one point so I wanted to reassure her that its just the neighbour dressed up) but it seems she's forgotten that and believes wholeheartedly in him at 6.5yrs old (despite knowing that the tooth fairy is just a game that parents play with their children but some children believe in - she hasn't quite extended the logic to Father Christmas yet)

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 10/09/2017 11:34

I find that the school and friendship group has a huge impact on whether or not kids believe in year 5 & 6.
My 9 year old still believes as do all her friends and the parents all encourage this.
They are happy and find it magical. I'm very happy that I don't have to deal with any of the miserable anti-Santa brigade on here.

TheBigPickle · 10/09/2017 11:36

MadMags
There's always this weird competitiveness on MN about Santa

Haha, I always thought it was the other way around and that most posters think not teaching you DC that Father Xmas exsists means that you are cruel and that your children are deprived. Guess it depends what camp you are in as to who is being 'competitive'

BTW My DC never believed in father Xmas and have, despite what Mumsnet would have you believe, always had 'magical' Xmas's

🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻🎄🎄🎄

EastMidsMummy · 10/09/2017 11:39

I genuinely believe that children who haven't worked this out by themselves by nine or ten grow into the sort of gullible adults who'll fall for other nonsense later on like homeopathy, Jesus and Brexit.

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 10/09/2017 11:43

My dd didn't totally disbelieve until she was 11 and saw the spare stocking in a drawer one Christmas morning.When she was opening her pressies she kept saying what good taste Santa had!
By the next year the pretence was there as she also worked out that no Santa meant no Santa presents.The tooth fairy was the same,no tooth fairy no money(part of this belief was driven by her believing even less that I would give her money for a tooth,).

TheBigPickle · 10/09/2017 11:44

EastMidsMummy

Now there is a study waiting to happen.... The correlation between believing in Father Xmas and voting Brexit 😂😂😂

UnicornSparkles1 · 10/09/2017 11:47

I had just turned 5 when I forced myself to stay awake and saw my mum coming into my room with my stocking. My younger brother believed until he was about 12 - I had to keep my mouth shut for many years!

You're lucky she made it to 10!

HappyLollipop · 10/09/2017 11:52

She's ten of course she doesn't believe in Santa! I don't think most children at that age do anymore. My niece is 7 and no longer believes in Santa she knows it's mum and dad but plays along because why not if your getting a extra present it's sad but children aren't stupid, they're bound to grow up and question things!

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