To ask dc's dad not too feed them rubbish at the weekends?

[Lovemusic33]

Dc's (11 and 13) see there dad once a week on a Sunday for 5 hours. Their dad has a new partner, she doesn't drive so at the weekends she expects him to drive her around shopping etc.. so my dc's have to go along, they hate shopping so their dad buys them a McDonald's or fish and chips to shut them up (make the day more fun). Dc is starting to pile on the weight so I have cut out some of the rubbish from their diets, it's not easy as dc1 has a very limited diet. Their dad also takes them to buy sweets (big share bags of sweets). He never cooks for them unless it's a pizza he chucks in the oven, he just feeds them rubbish all day. Last Sunday they came home with doughnuts, sweets and they had been for a McDonald's.

I have sent him a message asking if he could cook them something tomorrow or provide them with something healthier than McDonald's. AIBU?

Well it's better than sitting still but the amount of calories consumed when eating snacks/burgers/fizzy drinks can be far in excess of what is needed to do this.

Dd3 has just eaten three fried sausages and a potato scone in a roll with ketchup, a glass of fruit juice,an apple and a biscuit.

But she has just played two hours of football and us about to go swimming.

Hello I don't have a issue with his partner, I got on better with her than I do exh, my point was that they don't eat healthy and there's a lack of fruit and veg in the house, if they want to eat badly fair enough but why should my dd's have too?

I spoke to him this morning and all he could do was make jokes about it. He then said that he feeds dd2 rubbish because she's bored and it keeps her quite. I asked him to replace the doughnuts and sweets with fruit, veg or nuts (dd2 loves nuts, I know they contain fat but it has to be better than doughnuts?) he then said that dd1 isn't fat and that she tall so can carry it off.

Despite what people are saying on here my dd's are not fat, dd1 is big busted and has big hips and I am worried that she will gain more weight would could effect her bone conditions. I don't feed my kids up on rubbish, my house is full of fruit and veg, I rarely buy chocolate or biscuits, they have crisps which I am cutting out. Dd1 has issues around food which are sensory and partly due to her hating change (would eat the same meal every day), she has access to school meals which I can not really control. I'm not a shit parent and I do every thing I can to try and feed them a varied diet and to get them to exercise.

Your dds are only there 5 hours a week. They're not being force fed junk food. I understand why you're concerned, but if they're eating well the rest of the week they shouldn't be putting on weight unless they're literally eating about 20 doughnuts each.

Nobody has said you're a shit parent, you're not a shit parent. You're obviously trying your best but if your ex and his partner won't change then there's not much else you can do unless you stop contact all together but that opens up an entirely new can of worms.

I know I can't change ex partners eating habits

Today he has bought them fruit, took them shopping to Lidl, cooked them fish cakes and didn't buy them sweets.

Good! Long may it continue

My tuppenceworth...
I disagree with everyone who's saying that you should chill and it's only 5 hours a week.

It's amounting to a massive sugar and fat binge every week. Of course that will have an impact.

Also, it's Shit for you if you have to balance it out by making sure their diet is really virtuous 6 days a week to counterbalance a massive binge.

It's not birthday and Christmas it's every week. One parent shouldn't be giving them a fortnight's worth of treats in 5 hours FFS.

Thanks wine that's my point exactly. I don't mind them having the odd packet of crisps but he's feeding them a load of fatty and sugary food over the 5 hours he has them, more than what they get through the rest of the week. Hopefully he will continue to choose healthier options now I have confronted him.