New ish boyfriend - masonic lodge - weird?

[Creambun2]

Have been seeing a guy for just over three months now, all going well, seems a "normal" person (important for me after some awful relationships). However, this guy is part of masonic lodge and is asking me to come to some "ladies" night - sounds like some do from the 1930s or something.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird? He is in his early 30s. The only knowledge of the masonic world I have is that they used to deliver my grandmother a Christmas hamper every year after my grandfather died.

Why would a young bloke want to mess around in aprons doing "rituals" with loads of probably older men?! Is he going to suggest sex with aprons and gloves next

Anyone got any experience of this or been to one of these ladies nights ever?

The Illuminati are real

No they aren't.

My dad is one. Ladies nights are amazing

My mum is a female, catholic mason.

I just asked a mate who's a cop if he was asked if he was a mason when he joined. He wasn't.

There's some fake news on this thread!

My dad was a mason. He was always v secretive about it (as they are meant to be!) but it was an important part of his life. He was the kindest, most moral and gentlemanly man who would never have been involved in anything sinister. The masons also helped him out at times - a builder friend did our extension for a very good price. Don't worry at all!!

@GrapesAreMyJam. Technically guiding isn't an all female organisation. Men are allowed to be helpers and can join the trefoil guild, and have been able to since 1984. However, some people get all antsy if 'the patriarchy' is allowed to be exclusive without understanding that it's not always about oppressing the women. I consider that our particular bunch of wives and partners are about as un oppressed as they come.

But of course we are brainwashed wives and partners who are subservient to their menfolk.

As so often on MN, by the time I have read through the whole thread, you have pretty much covered everything i wanted to add. So .... I would challenge anyone commending the great works of charity to demonstrate this giving to anyone outside the 'craft' or their families and dependents. And yes, I realise that they are do not boast about their giving, so do not publish this information.

Go on, just one example would be helpful...

Hope anyone waiting to be 'invited' to join, is aware that all you have to do is to indicate your willingness to join and affirm your belief in a 'supreme being', and you are in (!). Anyone find this isn't enough?

I am really surprised by this thread. Just shows how much the MN demograhic has changed over the years. Ten years ago there never would have been such support for the Masons.

It would be a turn off for me in a prospective partner.

My dad joined briefly in the 80s. It wasn't for him. I don't think me and my mum wandering round the house wearing an apron with one trouser leg rolled up helped.

The Ladies Nights sound horrendous. Being thanked for keeping the home fires burning while the men swan about at their secret society? In 2017. Really?!?

My dad, uncle and grandfather were all Masons. And all Grandmasters. I was very young when my dad and grandad died, so can't really comment about what they 'got up to' , but I can tell you that the Masons supported my mum and gran for very many years after their DHs died. They were also very supportive to me, after I lost my mum.

Finallyhere, out of interest I googled "Freemasons Charity" and the first page on the news results tab is full of stories of them giving away money to charities that ostensibly have nothing to do with them (so either they do boast of the charities give them thanks which results in publicity). It appears these stories are about a £3million grant from the national charity.

For example:

£79k in the Isle of Wight, including to Sea Scouts, Macmillan, a sight appeal at Southampton university

In Dorset, £50,000 split between a veterans' charity, a charity for blind people and a charity for bereaved children.

In South Wales money to a children's charity, a learning disability charity, Women's Aid and the Samaritans.

£25,000 to a breast cancer care charity in Northamptonshire.

In Bolton, a large sum to a small charity supporting young people with housing issues.

More in Yorkshire ,Devon ,Cumbria...

Someone further up the thread mentioned their local masons donating to local kids football clubs and Girl Guides - who knows, maybe the children of some of their members might benefit from this but I don't think it's any different from donations from a church congregation supporting church activities, or a school PTA raising funds to be used at that school.

My boyfriend's lodge raises money for local good causes that have nothing to do with any of the members.

It's not something I'd get involved in, I find all the ritual stuff really cringe, I don't "allow" my boyfriend to go to meetings as he has his own free will, I don't think ladies' night is my cup of tea, and I definitely don't believe in a higher being... but I think there is clear evidence of them giving money to charity/ good causes. They may "look after their own" too, but who doesn't? I give money to my niece's school appeals, religious establishments raise money for their own buildings/activities...

"A very weird and corrupt organisation which is completely and exclusively white, heterosexual and male."

Your ignorance about Freemasonry seems to be complete.

OP - Go to the evening and see for yourself. Then ask your DP what Freemasonry is and what he gets out of it. You will find that prejudiced strangers on the internet are no substitute for actual knowledge from someone who knows what he is talking about.

"What's with all the secrecy then???"

Freemasonry isn't "secret". It's esoteric.

It's system/school of self-improvement and intellectual stimulation, based on symbols, allegorical stories, and master & apprentice model, which dates from before the advent of modern schools, pictures, and ID cards, when traveling tradesmen could only be recognized by their knowledge of signs and code words. They could also be prosecuted for heresy if intellectual/philosophical debates were known. Hence the reason why it was an esoteric organization.

A family member is a mason.

He's a slimy, selfish opportunist who cannot be trusted. He tried to enlist my DH and wouldn't take no for an answer. He has risen the ranks quickly in his lodge and waxes lyrical about it constantly. But, uses his influence at the lodge for his own selfish means.

Personally, being a mason is a total deal breaker in a relationship.

Would someone be able to link a photo of the kind of aprons and gloves they wear please? Do they wear these in their weekly meetings?
I have never met or heard of anybody in the Masons, so this sounds quite bizarre. What do they actually do in their meetings?

Brownies for grown men indeed.

I wouldn't tell people this but my Dad is in the masons. They meet for dinner every now and then. I'd be really surprised if my Dad was involved in anything more sinister than networking with other retired men who were never that successful anyway .

Lulalu I didn't know about the apron thing until I first found out my boyfriend was a mason, I googled "wtf is a mason?", came across an ancient MN thread where someone said something like "they just do silly plays and wear aprons". Google "freemason apron" and you'll see it.

Masons in their costumes.

don't they look a pair of prize berks

In some places in Scotland when a new grand master is appointed they go to his house in their costume to welcome him and take him to the lodge.

A former colleague who was appointed grand master asked that they didn't do this as he didn't wish to be mistaken for an orange man due to the similarity in the garb, as he loathes the orange order.

"don't they look a pair of prize berks"

Yes, it's easy to ridicule what you don't understand.

What ridiculous clothes. What silly rituals these grown men are engaged in.

Until you read & learn a bit about what those clothes and their rituals mean, that is.

I find it very sad that because one person who is known to be a Mason and a bit of a dick, people take that to mean all Masons are the same.

Me too. I still think it is daft and a bit odd and worry that the secrecy and the requirement to aid brother masons, lends itself to the possibility of low level corruption, but of the masons I've known, some I've liked hugely, some I've not been so keen on.

I can see why a certain type of unpleasant personality would be attracted to the masons, but I think to say 'i met X, X is a pratt and he's a mason, therefore he's indicative of all masons everywhere' is a huge leap. I guess people must join for a variety of reasons.

Until you read & learn a bit about what those clothes and their rituals mean

I know fine well what they mean and I still think the clothes and the rituals are bloody stupid.

I am not ignorant of the underpinning principles of freemasonry. Don't confuse criticism or disagreement with lack of knowledge.

I have serious reservations about the potential for corruption and influence of Masons in public life. But I wouldn't let that put me off an individual Mason who appeared to be a good bloke. Much like I don't like the way the government set up academy schools, but I'm happy to send my DC to our excellent one.

The Catholic thing is a question of the Church discriminating against Freemasonry rather than the other way around, but it's obvious how in areas where sectarianism is already a problem it could lead to bigotry within the lodges.

"I know fine well what they mean and I still think the clothes and the rituals are bloody stupid."

Do enlighten us. Why do Freemasons wear white gloves and aprons during their meetings?

I believe we would all love to hear these hilariously stupid reasons.

"I am not ignorant of the underpinning principles of freemasonry. Don't confuse criticism or disagreement with lack of knowledge."

What exactly you are criticising, then? Which "underpinning principles" are to be criticised, in your learned opinion?