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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was out of line?

105 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 07:55

Okay, so this story is going to be long winded and quite possibly confusing, so I'll try and be as simple as I can.

The story itself has two elements to it. I play badminton at a local social session every Sunday, I used to attend the one on a Thursday but because of work commitments I had to drop out. The woman who runs it is a bit of a control freak, she has to have everything her own way, including segregating the good players from each other so they aren't playing together!

So part one of the story (which I found out last night)

I have two good friends at badminton, a woman and her 17 year old son. I've known them around four years now, and when her son snapped the strings on his racquet I without hesitation borrowed him one of mine to keep him going. My racquets aren't cheap, I don't have kids or outgoings so I spend £50-odd on them plus another £30 for customisation of the strings and the like.
Unbeknown to me, the Mum and her son were involved in a car accident whereby the car was written off. In the car was two racquets belonging to the organiser woman which were lost when the car was towed away.

So I noticed a couple of months ago the son was playing without my racquet and it turned out he'd misplaced it, which was fine, accidents happen and I have plenty others. Until last night when I went back for the first time in ages and find a 7 year old child (and grandson of the organiser) playing with the racquet. I immediately said it was mine, and instead of it being handed over, the woman cited that because the other woman and her son had lost her other racquets she was keeping this one. WTF?!

Anyway, I said I'd like my racquet back and would buy the child a cheaper one from Sports Direct. She said for me to have the racquet back either me or the son would have to buy the 7 year old a £30-odd racquet (which he doesn't need as he's at a very low level) or let him keep the racquet. At this point the mum of the 17 year old came over, and I could see the 17 year old was upset about the situation, and said that the boy could keep the racquet to keep the peace.

It wasn't the 17 year olds fault that she's picked up this racquet and kept it for herself to dish out as she pleases, as soon as she knew it was mine she should've handed it back shouldn't she? I froze and didn't want to cause a scene, but have no idea how I'm meant to get my racquet back now!

I know this is confusing and involves a lot of people, but I'm so sick of this woman getting away with things like this and making me feel so awkward I handed over an expensive racquet to her Grandson to keep just to keep the peace.

OP posts:
paq · 08/09/2017 07:58

Next week march in there. Take your racquet. Hand over a cheap one. Glare at anyone who dares to argue. Job done.

PaintingByNumbers · 08/09/2017 07:59

Ok, so someone you are good friends with borrows racquets off everyone and loses them, then offers other peoples racquets in replacement? Isnt it your friend who shpuld be reimbursing you?

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 08:00

I'll be at the other end of the country in training for my new job, or that would've been what I'd do.

I'm super good friends with a friend of hers, so I think he's going to say something this week as well. I don't even see why I should be buying the child a racquet, as it's nothing to even do with me! I only did it to try and get mine back

OP posts:
AlternativeTentacle · 08/09/2017 08:00

Sorry, when did you become the racquet supplier for the club?

How did it get to the woman from the person you gave it to?

FenceSitter01 · 08/09/2017 08:00

Just take the racquet.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 08:01

He lost it and she picked it up and kept it for herself, not offered it in replacement at all. He's not that type of boy, he was absolutely mortified at the whole situation bless him.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 08/09/2017 08:01

Well the pedant in me just has to say you lent him your racquet. He borrowed it. Demand the racquet back. The fact that someone else lost her racquets is nothing to do with you and I would make that point as publicly as possible.

wowfudge · 08/09/2017 08:03

He lost it? You never said that. Or did she just take it? Just take it back and don't buy a replacement. The whole thing is nuts.

highinthesky · 08/09/2017 08:04

Take back your possession and replace with one equivalent to the organiser's.

And find another club. It sounds like you've had enough of the organiser so it's time to go....or possibly set up your own as a rival venture? Start small and watch the defections Grin

HerOtherHalf · 08/09/2017 08:05

If you had given the racket to the 17 year old there might be a case for YABU. There would still be the issue of whether she had been fair in taking it off him but it would be nothing to do with you really. However, you lent the racket and it is still your property. She has effectively stolen it from you. If she feels that the mother should be replacing her two rackets that is not unreasonable but stealing yours is not the appropriate solution.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 08:08

He told me he misplaced it, which does happen as I've done it myself for it to turn up in the spares bag the next week. When you have 20 people playing and several racquets things end up all over.

My issue was I was literally put on the spot with a visibly upset lad saying that I either let her keep that racquet or the son has to go and buy more expensive ones for the ones lost when they had the car accident. So as not to upset my friends I said I'd let her keep it.

It's not even the size of a childs racquet, it's an adults, it's got custom heavy strings on and a huge grip I had on specially because I liked the colour! I don't even think a kid could wrap his hand around it!

OP posts:
Footle · 08/09/2017 08:08

Why are you waiting for someone who 'might say something'?

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 08/09/2017 08:09

You said you let the boy keep the racquet. Even if this was to keep the peace, are you going to seem a bit off then insisting on it back after that.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 08:10

Because he's known her years upon years. I've already had one run in with her about 18 months ago and that's why I didn't do it again last night, especially not infront of eight children.

OP posts:
PaintingByNumbers · 08/09/2017 08:15

Your friend should have offered, either earlier, or when this happened when it resurfaced. What would you.have done, if you were her, and saw your poor friend getting caught up in a row about a racquet your son lost?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 08/09/2017 08:20

The way I see it is this:
1 - Coach should claim for two badminton racquets from Mum that had car accident where two of her racquets were lost
2 - You need to go in, take your racquet back and if anyone else says anything, just reply "I'm taking back what is mine" and just take it back.
You need to do it sooner rather than later though as every time someone else plays with your racquet, it chips away at it being seen as your racquet and appears to be a 'spare' racquet that is provided by the club.

hidinginthenightgarden · 08/09/2017 08:21

Just take it back and leave. He doesn't need the racquet and the loss of others has nothing to do with it. Either have a quiet word at the end of the class to avoid a scene or just take it back.

SeaCabbage · 08/09/2017 08:23

Yep next time you are tthere, just take the bloody racket. It is yours.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 08/09/2017 08:24

It really doesn't matter who lost the racquet, the woman who runs the club, should not have said she was keeping it!
Cheeky mare, I would definitely take in a chepo, childs racquet, give it to her grandson and take yours back.

Say "this is my property, it is an expensive racquet and I am taking it back."

Repeat this response if she says a word. She'll soon get bored!

ChasedByBees · 08/09/2017 08:27

You should have taken the racquet - the boys mother should have claimed on insurance for any items lost in the car.

You are on disgust ground now you said they could keep it but you could argue that was under duress. I would still take it back.

ChasedByBees · 08/09/2017 08:28

Disgust?! Dodgy.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 08:28

Thank you :) The three of us left badminton last night in a foul mood about it all and to be fair the cheek of her.

It was more the way it was said

"If YOU don't let me keep this racquet then Dan (name changed!) can buy a new one for this child. I'll let you work it out between yourselves what you are going to do"

That was the point at which I said I would buy the boy a racquet but would like mine back to then be told

"If you want that back, I lost 2 x racquets which weren't cheap (the probably were expensive about 15 years ago, as she never has new ones) then Dan or his Mum can replace the ones lost"

Putting me on the spot as to say, these incidents have absolutely no connection and that racquet is mine to be shot down again.

As to not drip feed, the woman and her son are the neice and great nephew of the organiser too! And she's like this always with them.

OP posts:
Livingdiisgracefully · 08/09/2017 08:30

This is definitely theft. If you found it my handbag somewhere because someone I had lent it to misplaced it, doesn't mean you have the right to keep it or hold it to ransom, irrespective of the circumstances with the other party. Also, although the other party should replace her lost rackets, it should be on a like for like basis, i.e. not with more expensive ones than the ones mislaid. This woman sounds like she is trying it on to get a better racket for her grandson. I'd want to insist on getting mine back as a point of principle.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 08/09/2017 08:32

You need to just follow advice here an take it back.

Does she own the club or just run it? Could you complain about the way she talks to people/makes decisions. She sounds really horrible.

FluttershysCutieMark · 08/09/2017 08:34

No way should your equipment be used to replace the organisers destroyed racquets. However I'm sure the insurance payout for the car accident would involve covering the cost of things in the vehicle, so they should be able to buy 2 new racquets to return to the organiser.

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