Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was out of line?

105 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 07:55

Okay, so this story is going to be long winded and quite possibly confusing, so I'll try and be as simple as I can.

The story itself has two elements to it. I play badminton at a local social session every Sunday, I used to attend the one on a Thursday but because of work commitments I had to drop out. The woman who runs it is a bit of a control freak, she has to have everything her own way, including segregating the good players from each other so they aren't playing together!

So part one of the story (which I found out last night)

I have two good friends at badminton, a woman and her 17 year old son. I've known them around four years now, and when her son snapped the strings on his racquet I without hesitation borrowed him one of mine to keep him going. My racquets aren't cheap, I don't have kids or outgoings so I spend £50-odd on them plus another £30 for customisation of the strings and the like.
Unbeknown to me, the Mum and her son were involved in a car accident whereby the car was written off. In the car was two racquets belonging to the organiser woman which were lost when the car was towed away.

So I noticed a couple of months ago the son was playing without my racquet and it turned out he'd misplaced it, which was fine, accidents happen and I have plenty others. Until last night when I went back for the first time in ages and find a 7 year old child (and grandson of the organiser) playing with the racquet. I immediately said it was mine, and instead of it being handed over, the woman cited that because the other woman and her son had lost her other racquets she was keeping this one. WTF?!

Anyway, I said I'd like my racquet back and would buy the child a cheaper one from Sports Direct. She said for me to have the racquet back either me or the son would have to buy the 7 year old a £30-odd racquet (which he doesn't need as he's at a very low level) or let him keep the racquet. At this point the mum of the 17 year old came over, and I could see the 17 year old was upset about the situation, and said that the boy could keep the racquet to keep the peace.

It wasn't the 17 year olds fault that she's picked up this racquet and kept it for herself to dish out as she pleases, as soon as she knew it was mine she should've handed it back shouldn't she? I froze and didn't want to cause a scene, but have no idea how I'm meant to get my racquet back now!

I know this is confusing and involves a lot of people, but I'm so sick of this woman getting away with things like this and making me feel so awkward I handed over an expensive racquet to her Grandson to keep just to keep the peace.

OP posts:
Peregrina · 08/09/2017 09:34

And why didn't you just pack your bags and walk out when she didn't let you play with the better players warming up? It sounds as though she's spoilt the social atmosphere for you now anyway.

WorraLiberty · 08/09/2017 09:37

Christ almighty, how many more people are going to correct the OP about the 'borrow/lend' thing?

I'm sure she gets it now Confused

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 09:38

I honestly think it was because a) I'd just done nine hours at work and was already tired and b) Couldn't believe what she was saying and the utter reasoning behind it, it was the cheek of the approach.

The way she said 'You can sort it out between yourselves' was what got me. So I'm meant to stand there and talk to them about something that has nothing to do with me to start with and I've unwittingly ended up losing a racquet that cost me money. At this point in time I'd rather Dan had simply lost it or it was destroyed in the car accident than feeling like she's got one up on me.

The woman knows she's got away with murder as she deliberately trie to stop me leaving with my friend and her son last night - offering me a tough match against some good people as I was leaving that she knew I wouldn't turn down and coming across as all friendly to me. When in actual fact I could see straight through it.

I won't be there next week as for the next four Monday-Friday's I'm in training for my new role starting on Monday down saaarf. I'll be there on Sunday, hopefully she's managed to get some common sense and bring it back then.

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 08/09/2017 09:42

Just out of interest op, is your first language not English? Because I had French, Spanish and Italian co-workers who always mixed up the "I borrow the raquet/you lend me the raquet" thing!

I got the impression that organiser woman effectively confiscated the good racquet when her old ones went off in the accident, and that the young man was too embarrassed to admit this to OP. Organiser woman is a right twat!

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 09:48

Haha no I'm actually born and raised in North-East England.

I've just talked to his Mum now as she called me. Dan had lost the racquet and it turns out Dan had seen the organiser woman using my racquet a few weeks ago and asked if it was mine, she denied all knowledge and said it was her own racquet that she was giving to the grandson.

Obviously when I've noticed it she's then had to backtrack and said she had found it. Which is disgraceful behaviour.

OP posts:
Sayyouwill · 08/09/2017 09:51

I'd point out that her logic would never stand up in a small claims court. You have proof of purchase for the racquet, you lent it to the 17yo fully expecting to get it back. It was not his to give away, neither he nor his mother have any authority to decide who keeps the racquet. I wouldn't even have offered to buy the child a cheap one! I would have demanded my racquet back and expected the 17yos mother to replace the racquets she has subsequently damaged/lost.

Sayyouwill · 08/09/2017 09:52

Then get your bum on Rinder

UterusUterusGhali · 08/09/2017 09:53

Urgh.

She sounds appalling.

The decent thing to do if your stuff was lost in a crash would be to write it off; I'm sure the family had much more on their minds than objects.

However you need to call her out on this. Ask her in front of others why her grandson should have your stolen raquet.
The 17yo and his mum have nothing to do with this.
You need to be firm. Others must think she's a douche too.

Any chance of disbanding and forming a new club night with the nice ones?

VinoTime · 08/09/2017 09:58
Confused

Just take back your racket. It's not hard, OP.

'Thanks, that's mine.'

Horrible as a car crash is, it's for your friends to sort out replacing lost or damaged items that were in the car. It's got hee haw to do with you. If someone lost something of mine, I wouldn't be claiming somebody else's property to replace it - I would be asking for a replacement (politely) from the person responsible for the loss.

Stop letting the snippy bitch steal your property and intimidate you. Are you seriously telling me you're just going to piss £80-odd up the wall because you don't want to cause a scene? Fuck. That.

Take it back!

MsGameandWatching · 08/09/2017 09:59

There seems to be a very fine line here between whether "Dan" actually did lose the racquet or Bossy Boots pinched it.

IHateUncleJamie · 08/09/2017 09:59

I echo what SilverBirchTree said. This is all ridiculous and political and you're all letting CFwoman get away with theft, literally.

On Sunday, you march in there and say "You are not entitled to keep my racket, let alone give it to your grandson. It's MY racket and I will have it back now, please." When she blathers on about her lost rackets, just repeat "Sorry, nothing to do with me whatsoever. If xxx owes you two rackets then you need to take that up with her". Repeat ad nauseam and advise your friend to claim on her insurance.

As for "this is more my relaxing one", I can't imagine what the other two clubs are like! Sounds like hell. 😳

RestingBitchFaced · 08/09/2017 10:02

Just take it back! You don't need to replace it, just say this is mine thanks. I can't believe you haven't already done this when you saw it last time! And complain to the club too

Missingstreetlife · 08/09/2017 10:03

Speak to her or send a note saying if your racquet is not returned you will have to consider further including legal action or police?

steppemum · 08/09/2017 10:11
  1. your friend should replace the two raquets lost in the car. She could have claimed them on insurance.
This is NOT your problem. Every time the organiser tries to involve you, you say - my raquet was not leant to you, it was not in the car and it is none of my business. That is my raquet, accidentlally left out at bedminton a few weeks ago, now I want it back.
  1. If she persists in demanding anything (even a cheap sports direct raquet) I would start saying - that is my raquet, you have effectively stolen it, now you are blackmailing me to return it? At what point would you like me to call the police?
Ceto · 08/09/2017 10:16

Take back your racquet. Get friend to ask organiser for proof of the value of the racquets lost in the car so she can claim off insurance.

PovertyPain · 08/09/2017 10:18

So is your friend replacing the racket or not? There's no point in her 'supporting' you if she isn't actually going to replace the ones she lost. What are you actually going to do, op? Are you going to get your racket back. If you are, you need to walk in and take it straight away so the cheeky fucker or her grandson don't have time to be on their guard. No messing about.

PaintingByNumbers · 08/09/2017 10:21

Borrow/lend is a dialectal difference, in places like Hull they are used interchangeably
Hth

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 10:24

We have agreed that on Sunday the three of us are going to speak to her.

There's two elements of this I'm unhappy with

  1. Her denying all knowledge of the racquet being mine a few weeks ago when prompted on it, despite due to the brand and look of it (and that she's seen me many a time using it and Dan). She knew that racquet was mine, she lied and hoped I wouldn't be there on a Thursday to notice.

  2. Her trying to guilt trip me into letting her keep the racquet because she knew I didn't want to cause a scene or upset my friend and her son...she knew I would just say to keep it.

On Sunday my friend is going to buy two cheap racquets and give her them in exhange for me having mine back. Why my racquet is a bartering tool I have no idea.

OP posts:
eddielizzard · 08/09/2017 10:28

wow. who put this woman in charge? why are you all letting her boss you around?

if you're good friends with others at the club can you decide amongst you to stand up to her? insist on organising your own games and ignore her.

she's a loon and she knows she's pushing the boundaries. don't buy anyone anything. watch and see and if an opportunity arises to take it back, take it! but if the little boy has it, and you've given it to him now, i don't see how you can take it away from him. i think that battle may be lost.

keep sight of the bigger battle though! you give this woman the power. take it away!!!

Cakeycakecake · 08/09/2017 10:29

Utterly ridiculous. She's a thief pure and simple.
If she argues the toss on Sunday just pull out your phone and say that's fine, I'll call the police now then and tell them you've stolen my property, and are now trying to blackmail me for its return.

MudGolum · 08/09/2017 10:32

Put the shuttlecock thing up her nose. Sideways.

Jaxhog · 08/09/2017 10:40

Her behaviour is completely out of order. Although I do slightly see her point, as she's out 2 racquets which your friend hasn't replaced. You could argue that your friend started this situation.

Since she's now acknowledged that the racquet is yours, you should just take it back. If she tries to keep it, report her to the police as it is then theft.

Your friend buying 2 replacement racquets sounds like a good solution (and her responsibility, btw). Good luck.

Pearlsaringer · 08/09/2017 10:43

What SilverBirchTree said. Word for word.

SilverBirchTree · 08/09/2017 10:46

OP, don't get lost in the elements and details like playing on a Thursday, her seeing you with it before, it being an unusual brand etc etc.

You have a perfect, simple, undefeatable point in your dispute with this woman:

'This is my racquet and I am taking it back'

Don't deviate from your winning hand. Don't be dragged into discussing anything else, or any surrounding circumstances. If she mentions other racquets, or who left it where, or car accidents - do not engage in debate simply repeat: 'This is my racquet and I am taking it back'

UrsulaPandress · 08/09/2017 10:47

Who knew badminton could be so exciting!

Swipe left for the next trending thread