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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this woman was out of line?

105 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 07:55

Okay, so this story is going to be long winded and quite possibly confusing, so I'll try and be as simple as I can.

The story itself has two elements to it. I play badminton at a local social session every Sunday, I used to attend the one on a Thursday but because of work commitments I had to drop out. The woman who runs it is a bit of a control freak, she has to have everything her own way, including segregating the good players from each other so they aren't playing together!

So part one of the story (which I found out last night)

I have two good friends at badminton, a woman and her 17 year old son. I've known them around four years now, and when her son snapped the strings on his racquet I without hesitation borrowed him one of mine to keep him going. My racquets aren't cheap, I don't have kids or outgoings so I spend £50-odd on them plus another £30 for customisation of the strings and the like.
Unbeknown to me, the Mum and her son were involved in a car accident whereby the car was written off. In the car was two racquets belonging to the organiser woman which were lost when the car was towed away.

So I noticed a couple of months ago the son was playing without my racquet and it turned out he'd misplaced it, which was fine, accidents happen and I have plenty others. Until last night when I went back for the first time in ages and find a 7 year old child (and grandson of the organiser) playing with the racquet. I immediately said it was mine, and instead of it being handed over, the woman cited that because the other woman and her son had lost her other racquets she was keeping this one. WTF?!

Anyway, I said I'd like my racquet back and would buy the child a cheaper one from Sports Direct. She said for me to have the racquet back either me or the son would have to buy the 7 year old a £30-odd racquet (which he doesn't need as he's at a very low level) or let him keep the racquet. At this point the mum of the 17 year old came over, and I could see the 17 year old was upset about the situation, and said that the boy could keep the racquet to keep the peace.

It wasn't the 17 year olds fault that she's picked up this racquet and kept it for herself to dish out as she pleases, as soon as she knew it was mine she should've handed it back shouldn't she? I froze and didn't want to cause a scene, but have no idea how I'm meant to get my racquet back now!

I know this is confusing and involves a lot of people, but I'm so sick of this woman getting away with things like this and making me feel so awkward I handed over an expensive racquet to her Grandson to keep just to keep the peace.

OP posts:
littlequestion · 08/09/2017 10:48

I think the key thing here is that you lent him the racquet; you didn't give it to him. If you'd given it to him, then it would have been his to do what he liked with (including give it to a 7 year old).

But you lent it to him, so it's still yours.

StarryCorpulentCunt · 08/09/2017 10:48

Don't bother. Walk up, take the racquet and walk away. Anyone confronts you, just tell them you are taking back your stolen property and they can sort themselves out.

LaContessaDiPlump · 08/09/2017 10:48

Borrow/lend is a dialectal difference, in places like Hull they are used interchangeably

How interesting! I wonder if its history as a port (i.e. with lot of foreign languages about) has influenced that at all? There's grounds for a thesis there.

Anyway, good luck with your original issue op Grin

Bunnyfuller · 08/09/2017 10:52

I'm gobsmacked you're lending expensive items to people. Don't.

AyUpMiDuck · 08/09/2017 10:53

paq said it all. no discussion.

5rivers7hills · 08/09/2017 11:02

The 17 year old or his mother are fuck wits and need to pay you for your racket they 'misplaced'

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 08/09/2017 11:05

Borrow/lend is a dialectal difference, in places like Hull they are used interchangeably
Hth.

They may have adopted incorrect usage, but by English language rules, it is still incorrect.

Donttouchthethings · 08/09/2017 11:18

SilverBirchTree

She has stolen from you OP. Go straight up to her and say:

'I was caught off guard last week, so I want to be very clear today - this is my customised racquet, and I am taking it back. If you believe someone owes you a replacement then that is a matter for you to discuss with them.'

And then take it back. If the grandson cries, that's on his granny for being a thieving cow.

^^ This!

If you need to say anything else, keep it short and use specific, accurate words like:

Stolen
Stole
Thief
Bully

RainbowPastel · 08/09/2017 11:53

The woman is totally in the wrong. Just take back your racquet.

The friends are also in the wrong. They should have replaced the two racquets they had either through the car insurance or out of their own pocket.

crazycatgal · 08/09/2017 12:14

Stop faffing and take the racquet back. Why are you going to speak to this woman with your friend and her son? This will just give the woman a get out clause because she'll mention the lost racquets again.

Approach this woman alone and tell her that you are taking your racquet back. Let your friend and her son sort their part separately.

PaintingByNumbers · 08/09/2017 12:18

No, thats the entire point of the word dialect. Its true that it isnt following the rules of standard written english but it doesnt do anyone any harm to learn about dialects either

PaintingByNumbers · 08/09/2017 12:19

That for whattodoaboutthis2017

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 12:40

It should never have got to this situation in the first place. Her/friend and son having two racquets lost in a car crash is an entirely separate incident to her picking up and then stealing my racquet. It's just an excuse for her to use as a baiting tool to keep the racquet.

It's also telling that everyone on here plus my parents and DP have said she's out of line and should have offered the racquet straight back as soon as she realised I'd sussed her out.

PS - The lent/borrowed thing, as smart as I am I've never bothered to learn the difference as it's so acceptable here to use either term. So sorry for everyone who is mega steaming annoyed at my missuse of grammar :)

OP posts:
kali110 · 08/09/2017 12:47

Why are you buying a cheap one?
Dont! Why are you rewarding her bad behaviour!
Get your one back!
If she needs a new one she has to go get one!
She can't resort to stealing and blackmail!
DO NOT BUY A CHEAP ONE!
If she wants one she has to put her hand in her pocket..

PuppyMonkey · 08/09/2017 13:00

Agree with all the comments on the CF Badminton Bitch woman but I do think your friend and her son should have stepped up to the mark and intervened before now - knowing it was your racquet and it was immaterial to thecar accident etc.

God I bloody hate badminton.Grin

Francesca14 · 08/09/2017 13:15

Steal something of hers that's worth the same amount and tell her "but xyz lost mine so I'm keeping your one."

newusernameness · 08/09/2017 13:18

Shock just wow

Pearlsaringer · 08/09/2017 14:13

Abort mission, abort mission, do not approach with friend and son. They are trying to replace her two lost racquets with two cheap ones. Your expensive customised racquet has nothing whatever to this transaction.

Pearlsaringer · 08/09/2017 14:15

To do with this transaction - gaaaah!

UnicornSparkles1 · 08/09/2017 14:22

Fark me lass, take back your racket and tell her to sod off. If she starts kicking off tell her she's lucky you've not reported her for theft.

If I lost my purse I couldn't just go and steal someone else's. Same principle.

IdaDown · 08/09/2017 15:15

Email her and cc club captain/treasure/another committee member.

Tell her you want your racquet returned on Sunday.

Other racquets are not your concern.

Paper trail - no confusion.

rightnowimpissed · 08/09/2017 15:18

I'd tell her to do one take my racquet and find a new club to join. Shes a head case you'll never convince her shes wrong, just go.

Allabitmuchisntit · 08/09/2017 15:56

This is why I despair of humanity.......

misshelena · 08/09/2017 16:12

If you want that back, I lost 2 x racquets which weren't cheap (the probably were expensive about 15 years ago, as she never has new ones) then Dan or his Mum can replace the ones lost

She is rude, but also right. Dan and his mum should have replaced the two racquets they borrowed from her. But where she got it wrong was the part where she told you to work it out with Dan and his mom. This is between the rude lady herself and Dan/mom. You found your racquet. You are good, you should take it back.
But I am afraid it's too late now. You agreed to give it to the rude lady's son.

coveringkitty · 08/09/2017 16:12

That's your racket you paid for it and had it made to suit you, go in take your racket and walk away! If she tries to play the your stealing card tell her to shove off if you feel super bad for taking it from a 7 year find a cheap one and give him that! And if you have recipets for all the ones you bought then you have proof along with 2 other statements from your friend and her son! TAKE BACK WHAT IS YOURS!