Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was out of line?

105 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 07:55

Okay, so this story is going to be long winded and quite possibly confusing, so I'll try and be as simple as I can.

The story itself has two elements to it. I play badminton at a local social session every Sunday, I used to attend the one on a Thursday but because of work commitments I had to drop out. The woman who runs it is a bit of a control freak, she has to have everything her own way, including segregating the good players from each other so they aren't playing together!

So part one of the story (which I found out last night)

I have two good friends at badminton, a woman and her 17 year old son. I've known them around four years now, and when her son snapped the strings on his racquet I without hesitation borrowed him one of mine to keep him going. My racquets aren't cheap, I don't have kids or outgoings so I spend £50-odd on them plus another £30 for customisation of the strings and the like.
Unbeknown to me, the Mum and her son were involved in a car accident whereby the car was written off. In the car was two racquets belonging to the organiser woman which were lost when the car was towed away.

So I noticed a couple of months ago the son was playing without my racquet and it turned out he'd misplaced it, which was fine, accidents happen and I have plenty others. Until last night when I went back for the first time in ages and find a 7 year old child (and grandson of the organiser) playing with the racquet. I immediately said it was mine, and instead of it being handed over, the woman cited that because the other woman and her son had lost her other racquets she was keeping this one. WTF?!

Anyway, I said I'd like my racquet back and would buy the child a cheaper one from Sports Direct. She said for me to have the racquet back either me or the son would have to buy the 7 year old a £30-odd racquet (which he doesn't need as he's at a very low level) or let him keep the racquet. At this point the mum of the 17 year old came over, and I could see the 17 year old was upset about the situation, and said that the boy could keep the racquet to keep the peace.

It wasn't the 17 year olds fault that she's picked up this racquet and kept it for herself to dish out as she pleases, as soon as she knew it was mine she should've handed it back shouldn't she? I froze and didn't want to cause a scene, but have no idea how I'm meant to get my racquet back now!

I know this is confusing and involves a lot of people, but I'm so sick of this woman getting away with things like this and making me feel so awkward I handed over an expensive racquet to her Grandson to keep just to keep the peace.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 08:35

It's a social club really, it doesn't enter competitions and I'm one of the youngest there at 33!

I joined along with my now ex DP four years ago and got on so well with everyone when we split I carried on going. I love the people there and the laughs we have and the games. She just took it upon herself to say who is going on court with who.

An example last night is that I'm one of the better players - but when two good males were warming up she put me on court with children to play and deliberately excluded me from the tough match that was about to start, purely in a show of control.

Unfortunately I just put up with it because I love everyone else, and I do go to two other proper clubs and this is more my relaxing one. It's a shame because it ruins what is usually a very enjoyable night!

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 08/09/2017 08:37

I would just put it in writing that you would like your own custom racquet back.
The other racquets lost in the accident are irrelevant

Shockers · 08/09/2017 08:37

Why does Dan have to replace a racquet which wasn't the child's in the first place?

The two other racquets should be replaced by the insurance, or out of their own pockets, if they didn't claim for them.

Your racquet is completely separate to that.

Shockers · 08/09/2017 08:40

You should all get together and organise a coupGrin.

chocatoo · 08/09/2017 08:49

Wait until the child puts the raquet down at the end of the session, pick it up and leave.

NoSquirrels · 08/09/2017 08:53

Buy child's racquet. Give to child in exchange for yours.

Organiser starts harping on. Say "I've replaced one racquet out of goodwill as I would like my custom racquet returned. I'm afraid you'll have to speak to Dan/Dan's Mum about your other racquets as that's nothing to do with me."

She goes on.

"As I said, that's not anything todo with me and my racquet. Do speak to Dan/Dan's Mum about it."

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 08/09/2017 08:55

That was the point I was trying to get across - losing the two racquets and then my racquet are two completely separate incidents.

It's one particular brand of racquet too that nobody else really uses, so I can guarantee when she saw the brand she'd have known it was mine too and just gave it away. The little kid looked like distraught I was going to take 'his' racquet from him, he cuddled it in his arms and kept saying it was his and he'd been given it as a present.

May I add too, this club never ever gives anyone a racquet or shares them or anything. I did to Dan as a favour between us not because it's common practise. Like if someone else wanted to try one of mine for a couple of games I'd let them. I've never known of racquets being given to kids to keep.

OP posts:
RockinSushi · 08/09/2017 08:57

I'm baffled at the idea that you should replace anything.

Just take back YOUR racquet.

MehMehAndMeh · 08/09/2017 08:58

Why are you offering to replace a racquet the cheeky bitch stole?
This is what cheeky fuckers rely on.
If you let someone borrow your keys and she picked them up would you let her take your car?
Get it back. I agree you and the other need to topple the tyrant. It's not going to be much fun because you have challenged her and now you either stand your ground or get walked over. She is going to push you to see what she can get away with to make you an example to the others to stay in line.

kali110 · 08/09/2017 09:01

Go to the organiser? Or the head of the club?
Why do you need to buy her another one??
Id tell her unless she gives it you back she can explain it to the police.

SabineUndine · 08/09/2017 09:01

I'd grab my racquet and leave the club, tell EVERYONE why you're going. In the world. Make sure they know this woman stole from you.

SilverBirchTree · 08/09/2017 09:08

She has stolen from you OP. Go straight up to her and say:

'I was caught off guard last week, so I want to be very clear today - this is my customised racquet, and I am taking it back. If you believe someone owes you a replacement then that is a matter for you to discuss with them.'

And then take it back. If the grandson cries, that's on his granny for being a thieving cow.

Allthebestnamesareused · 08/09/2017 09:08

I will have MY racquet back thank you very much Mrs Organiser.

Yes - you can sort out with your niece what she is going to do to replace the racquets lost in the car accident and which no doubt she can claim for under the insurance as they were only cheap and would therefore fall within the low amount they allow for contents of the car.

SteampunkPrincess · 08/09/2017 09:11

The two other racquets should be replaced by the insurance, or out of their own pockets, if they didn't claim for them.

this

mummmy2017 · 08/09/2017 09:14

OK need these questions answered.
Did you give the racket to the 17 year old to keep or borrow.

Go to the bag of spares, take a racket out, give it too the child, and tell him the racket was lost, you are glad it has been found and want it back, here have this one from the spares. Swap and take the racket.

If you gave it too the 17 year old to keep, give it back to him.

Tell your friend she needs to speak to the lady, and either buy 2 used rackets and give them too the lady or pay her for USED rackets, personally I would hand over 2 old rackets to replace the old rackets and buy brand new ones for myself if I was your friend...

Finally agree with your friend and her son, and then on mass tell the lady if she doesn't like your idea's you can all 3 leave....

As to the better players, I can see why she would try to even out the teams, but very heavy handed.

pinkdelight · 08/09/2017 09:15

The woman is a cowbag, no doubt about it, but I do think the 17yo (and mum) has to take responsibility here, not just be helplessly mortified.

He borrowed your expensive racquet and misplaced it. Didn't replace it.

He and his mum had two of the cowbag's racquets in the crash. Didn't replace them.

Sure these things happen, accidents and losing things, but why should everyone else be the ones left to suck it up. He or his mum should step in to sort this out instead of letting it create further tension. You should have your racquet back and they should replace the other ones.

Ttbb · 08/09/2017 09:17

Can you complain to the club?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 08/09/2017 09:19

without hesitation borrowed him one of mine

You lent him one of yours, he borrowed it. That was annoying me way too much Grin

I'm with everyone else; just take the racquet off the kid and let them all sort it out for themselves. Like you said, the incidents aren't connected.

(And don't be emotionally blackmailed by the kid cuddling the racquet as though it's his prized possession. It's not. It's yours.)

LairyMcClary · 08/09/2017 09:21

Just take it back, fgs, it doesn't need all the angst.

(He borrowed a racquet from you, you lent it to him. You cannot borrow him a racquet)

Frecklemcspeckles · 08/09/2017 09:23

@pinkdelight I'm totally with you. Op why on earth are you taking this nonsense to stop a 17 year old and his mum being "mortified". They have had and lost/wrecked 3 rackets. They don't need your protection they need to cop themselves on and replace the property. You just need to take your racquet back, everything else is for the two of them to sort!

MadMags · 08/09/2017 09:24

I'm so confused.

Didn't you say you borrowed a racquet in your OP? Did you give that one back and then it went missing??

Sorry, I don't get it!

MadMags · 08/09/2017 09:26

Ah sorry! X-post with others.

He borrowed your racquet. Well, you need to take yours back from the kid and your friend needs to do the right thing.

Time4adrink · 08/09/2017 09:28

OP I think the reason your post is confusing is because you are confused Smile
You let someone borrow your racquet and they lost it. It was found by cowbag woman, who chose to give it as a gift to her GC rather than returning it to you. You have every right to insist she gives it back to you as she has effectively stolen it and passed on stolen property to a child. As she is so awful, I suggest you tell her that you were caught off-guard by her shocking behaviour and of course you expect her to return your racquet to you, unless she wants her GC named as being in receipt of stolen goods when you report to the police [sort of joking].

The car accident and other racquets lost are completely irrelevant and nothing to do with you.

This woman is a bully and it sounds like you need to get tougher with her or she will ruin your fun club.

bloodymaria · 08/09/2017 09:28

There's no need for the angst, just take back your racquet surely? If they're all related anyway they can sort it out themselves.

StaplesCorner · 08/09/2017 09:30

But surely you have all allowed this stupid mix up to happen because the organiser is a bitch and you are enabling her? Why on earth did you get involved in a discussion about you having to replace a racquet? And please don't come back and say its because you can't stand up yourself Hmm

The person who lost the racquets in the car crash needs to claim against the insurance, or have the woman whose car it was offer to reimburse her - its NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!