To be furious about gender neutral bathrooms in work?

[Kez437]

At the start I'd like to make very clear that I am pro transgender and those who do not prescribe to a particular gender. However as context, we have 2 office sites, I am in site 2. Across the company and in particular on my site there are many more males than females (something the company is desperately trying to solve). There is not a great person to bathroom ratio but currently we have 2 females and 4 males so the men have double we have. As of yesterday, with no prior notice gender neutral signs have been put up on the doors of all the bathrooms. When this was queried with out office manager we were told that there were not enough bathrooms for the men and as there are more of them they are always having to wait. To my knowledge and I'm fairly certain we have no transgender of non-assingning people in our company or on this site and the reason given has nothing to do with this. As of today I have learnt that site 1, which is our head office does not have gender neutral bathrooms and that next week when a client visits us the gender neutral signs are being taken down! I am, quite frankly, furious. It seems to me that this is a poor effort of 'oh there are more of them, they need to use your bathroom but we can't just say that so we'll make them gender neutral'. Not a single woman on site has used the previous male bathrooms so effectively they have gotten their way. Gender neutral is being totally scapegoated and not used in its proper context. If they were so concerned about gender neutrality surely all the bathrooms, inlcuding those in the main office would be gender neutral and they wouldn't be taking the signs down for a client visiting? Or they could have male, female and gender neutral (personally I thing this is the best way forward which caters for all, those who assign to a gender and those who do not). I am properly fuming about this, am I being unreasonable?

Morphene Of course it is normal for women in some circumstances to see men as a threat.

We have this at work now and I hate it too... The guys always seem to either leave the seat up or leave urine on it...

noeffingidea

You have no control of any of these things at the moment - but for some reason any stranger who is female is fine.

To be fair, whenever I have used gender neutral they have all been self-contained. But that's better for privacy in any case, whatever the sex of the other neighbours.

Blink66 of course some women are violent, and #notallmen are violent - but statistically, you are at much, much, much greater risk of violence from a man than a woman.

And statistically men are also much more at risk from violence from a man as well - and men are much more at risk of violence full stop (see the bbc crime risk).

So, it doesn't really seem being female is an above risk factor of being attacked - quite the opposite.

I do get the "i would prefer to choose who I share a toilet with" - but given that isn't the case, I don't have a problem sharing with male colleagues. Not sure I've ever heard of anyone being attacked in the works toilet... other than trying to get through hairspray.

Morphene to think we can't admit to periods in front of them doesn't sit right with me at all.
That's absolutely fine if you're happy to share details of your reproductive cycle with all and sundry. Some of us aren't.
I wouldn't expect men to share details of their sperm count or sperm motility with me either. I expect most men would consider that to be private and not to be shared with random women, and I respect that. Just because signs of the female reproductive system and fertility are more observable doesn't mean that some of us don't regard them as equally private.

Has anyone actually asked for this foolishness or are they just doing it anyway?

And the OP's post says that it's done because the women allegedly have too much space. If that is the case, it's the only building in history where the women have more provision for toilets than the men do. Well no, there is at least one other, the one I mentioned where the only loo in the building was for women (although I was the only woman based there) and the men had to cross a yard to an outside loo. There was 10 or 12 men in the building.

I was really risking life and limb, all on my own in a building with a dozen men and letting them use the women's loo. How did I survive?

Llijik, do I hover to wee? Absolutely not. I am not squeamish about that kind of thing. I just think men are messier than women in toilets.

At home you share a toilet with people you either have sex with or gave birth to... Sex difference is less important then.

Exactly Urubu . not the same situation at all. Yet all these silly women trying to convince the rest of us that we are the ones with the problems.

I want female only bathrooms and I don't see why I should have to change. No one asked my opinion on this.

That's the trouble, they don't seem to ask for anyone's bloody opinion, they just implement it. I mean what are the advantages of having everyone use the same tiolets.

Just looked it up and the so called reasons are bollocks basically. Such a small minority this is supposed to be catering for.

They'll be more women feeling uncomfortable about this idea than gender neutral people, so the majority should rule.

employers who do not provide separate toilet facilities for men and women are in breach of reg 20 of the workplace (health safety and welfare) regulations 1992. Breach of these regs is a criminal offence

Wow, how has this not come up in all the debate about transgender people and toilets??

Do some posters really not understand why women don't want men to know they have their period?

It's probably something to do with the socialisation that our feelings and opinions are invalidated in some way because of it. That we're 'hormonal' or those helpfully flippant 'time of the month?' type comments. Designed to keep us in our place. It's no wonder periods are a dirty secret.

Hang on a minute. If I've understood correctly there are 2 women and 4 men. There is a disabled/women's loo with 1 toilet that has been made unisex. There are 2 mens loos with 2 toilets each that have been made unisex. And all because of men queuing. Why is there a queue? 4 men, 4 loos, 1 each. If anything the ladies had more of a queue situation before as 2 ladies, 1 loo, 0.5 loos each. I wouldn't be impressed with this and the given reasons don't stand up.

No Morphene, I just have a big issue being in the same room as strange men who have their cock in their hand and pants down.

YABU. It's the way things are heading, get used to this sort of thing. Toilet cubicles have lockable doors, nobody else watches you actually using the toilet.

I get the fact that people worry that the odd pervert might slip a camera under the partition, or snoop over the top, but that is the problem that people should focus on solving. The debate should be about how to eliminate the voyeuristic tendencies of the minority.

Wow, how has this not come up in all the debate about transgender people and toilets??

Because they occupy a grey area legally. It hasn't been fully tested in court.

Just out of interest @ChelleDawg2020 how many women have to be snooped on and have their privacy invaded before we are allowed to be pissed off at this?

For ease, is it
a. Under 10
b. 10-25
c. 25-50
d. 50 or more.

Thanks.

"
Seriously? You call the OP unreasonable for her discomfort, which many other posters share, and then it turns out you have a discomfort of your own which is far, far more neurotic."

Yeah totally! not sure I'm that weird with that one. The vast majority of my female friends are the exact same and would avoid at all costs. Never met a guy who would care about it.