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Original poster

To be furious about gender neutral bathrooms in work?

134 replies

Kez437 · 07/09/2017 15:57

At the start I'd like to make very clear that I am pro transgender and those who do not prescribe to a particular gender. However as context, we have 2 office sites, I am in site 2. Across the company and in particular on my site there are many more males than females (something the company is desperately trying to solve). There is not a great person to bathroom ratio but currently we have 2 females and 4 males so the men have double we have. As of yesterday, with no prior notice gender neutral signs have been put up on the doors of all the bathrooms. When this was queried with out office manager we were told that there were not enough bathrooms for the men and as there are more of them they are always having to wait. To my knowledge and I'm fairly certain we have no transgender of non-assingning people in our company or on this site and the reason given has nothing to do with this. As of today I have learnt that site 1, which is our head office does not have gender neutral bathrooms and that next week when a client visits us the gender neutral signs are being taken down! I am, quite frankly, furious. It seems to me that this is a poor effort of 'oh there are more of them, they need to use your bathroom but we can't just say that so we'll make them gender neutral'. Not a single woman on site has used the previous male bathrooms so effectively they have gotten their way. Gender neutral is being totally scapegoated and not used in its proper context. If they were so concerned about gender neutrality surely all the bathrooms, inlcuding those in the main office would be gender neutral and they wouldn't be taking the signs down for a client visiting? Or they could have male, female and gender neutral (personally I thing this is the best way forward which caters for all, those who assign to a gender and those who do not). I am properly fuming about this, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Mummyme1987 · 07/09/2017 16:36

I'm not sure I would use a loo if I had to go past my boss using the urinal.

VestalVirgin · 07/09/2017 16:37

Using my Mooncup at work would be a bit trickier!

I don't use a mooncup, but I'd have zero scruples about rinsing it out where men can see it if I was forced to use unisex toilets.

Might actually cause some men to complain, and men are always taken more seriously.

And yes to demanding that there be bins in all toilets.

They don't see very serious about it, perhaps if you annoy the men enough by leaving san pro items all over their loo, they might just forget to put up the signs again after the next visit by a client ...

Original poster
Kez437 · 07/09/2017 16:38

I just don't need to share my bathroom habits, whatever they are in such close proximity to male colleagues. Their use of the self contained, disabled (previously female) bathroom doesn't bother me, it's the fact that the company is equating this to us now using a cubicle alongside them with a communal wash space. It's not the same. That is why the men are happy to use what was previously ours and we have not used what was previously theirs, so in this regard the company has got what they wanted, more bathrooms for the men. I have never owned a mooncup but I am now seriously considering purchasing one Grin. I also refuse to teach my male colleagues about what the purpose of a sanitary bin is, that is what biology was for.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 07/09/2017 16:38

The bins for sanitary items are very expensive (I am told) if all toilets are gender neutral then ask for sanitary bin in each one.

VestalVirgin · 07/09/2017 16:41

The bins for sanitary items are very expensive (I am told) if all toilets are gender neutral then ask for sanitary bin in each one.

Are there special ones?

I have often seen simple plastic bins - very unhygienic. I'd be delighted to hear that there are requirements for the workplace that the bins be designed so they have a lid and you don't have to open and close the lid manually.

grasspigeons · 07/09/2017 16:42

Our toilets are proper individual ones with hand washing facilities and sanitary bins with proper walls between them, dotted around the building. Not cubicles. I wouldn't be impressed with that - I see why you don't like it now

Slimthistime · 07/09/2017 16:43

I may be confused

there weren't enough men's toilets so they just changed them all to trans? Couldn't they have just made some of them for men?

I think with the traditional set up when the door isn't floor to ceiling, people will - understandably - feel uncomfortable. Tbh I don't understand why the doors aren't floor to ceiling in any toilet but that's a whole other conversation.

I think you will probably get men complaining about this too. Though if someone has found out what a sanitary bin is, I suppose it's not a total loss....what planet was he on though?!

RB68 · 07/09/2017 16:44

Yes and make sure the sanitary bin is one that stops you being able to sit on the toilet properly/gets in the way.

For some reason men seem to have disgusting toilet habits outside the home (where they are generally nagged to death to avoid them). I would also constantly complain if there was an issue with cleanliness etc. Sounds like the facilities Manager will get fed up pretty quick and change things back.

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 07/09/2017 16:44

@notanotherNC

The difference? Maybe you choose to live with those in your home?!

I'm assuming you don't have random people you don't know walking in and out using your loo? You have your family and friends who you love and trust. Not unknown people who happen to work for the same company!

Morphene · 07/09/2017 16:47

yy to bins in all toilets and washing mooncups in front of men.

I think I'd be strolling into the previously male only ones and checking my hair. Its not something I do under any other circumstances, but I'd be too nosy not to.

ShellyBoobs · 07/09/2017 16:47

Are you talking about actual 'bathrooms' or toilets?

Morphene · 07/09/2017 16:48

ive most assaults are committed by 'loved ones' though...

RidingWindhorses · 07/09/2017 16:52

Rather than washing a mooncup which will be office gossip for years, I suggest both you women write to head office and tell them how uncomfortable it makes you, that you've already had questions about the bins furthermore what are they going to about the mooncup situation?

I bet a blokes made this decision and he has got a fucking clue what a mooncup is.

Slimthistime · 07/09/2017 17:34

no I'm loving the mooncup idea

you don't even need to use one, just be seen washing it out at the sink and then going back into a cubicle.

MrsDneedsaB · 07/09/2017 18:26

I would absolutely hate this in my place of work! As it is our office does not have enough toilets to cater to the staff levels (male or female) but the men I work with are so absolutely disgusting that we have to call out plumbers every other month to unclog their monstrous turds from the cubicles.
I would flat out refuse to use a toilet that they have used as I question their hygiene in general anyway.

This is definitely 100% a complete cop-out and misuse of gender neutral pc

BarbaraOcumbungles · 07/09/2017 18:33

If they bought this in at work then I'd start using the disabled toilets.

I do not want to share toileting facilities with random blokes. I only just tolerate sharing them with women!

LakieLady · 07/09/2017 18:40

I've worked in a building with gender neutral toilets for 10 years and it really doesn't seem to bother anyone. Each one is self-contained, with its own basin, mirror and sanitary bin.

The only downside is that the bogs open straight into the corridor, and there are some ignorant fuckers who insist on going for a shit without opening the windows. The smell gets everywhere, and on the first floor, which is almost entirely open plan, everyone knows when someone's been for a dump.

Dahlietta · 07/09/2017 18:44

Is a gender neutral toilet different from a unisex toilet? (genuine question)

Motoko · 07/09/2017 18:44

Write to head office and complain, and get the other woman to co-sign the letter with you.

If they say they're not going to change it back, insist on having sanpro bins in all the toilets.

Grimbles · 07/09/2017 18:50

I don't have an issue with it if it's a self contained toilet with hand washing facilities.

DJBaggySmalls · 07/09/2017 18:56

YANBU. Ask them to put a tampon/sanpro dispenser in the womens toilet and a tampon sign on the door.

Slimthistime · 07/09/2017 18:59

Lakie "I've worked in a building with gender neutral toilets for 10 years and it really doesn't seem to bother anyone. Each one is self-contained, with its own basin, mirror and sanitary bin. "

Surely that's the point - people complaining are never complaining about self contained ones?! On the basis you describe, it is just a bathroom.

what did you think people complain about with gender neutral toilets? I'm confused.

Italiangreyhound · 07/09/2017 19:05

vestalvirgin "are they special ones" Yes. the bins are delivered by a company and you pay the company to take them away. So I am told the cost is high. Unless the company just has a trash can in the loos, unlikely as the special bins are rectangular to fit in the loo. I believe it is the removal etc which may be expensive.

Italiangreyhound · 07/09/2017 19:13

morphine it's possible to care about lots of things aside from being assaulted. Like privacy.

Maybe the reason most assaults are committed by 'loved ones' is because they have access to people.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 07/09/2017 19:16

Here though I find the idea of changing my tampon in a cubicle next to a male colleague mortifying, not to mention trying to fix makeup etc in a tiny space with them there

I don't think these are resonable complaints and I can't understand why you're "fuming."