AIBU to think that parents should buy the correct uniform and stop moaning

[Loveluck7]

I am getting increasingly irritated by people on FB moaning that their child's human rights have been violated because they were put into isolation for having the wrong uniform.

I understand that some rules can seem ridiculous but unfortunately some bad parents who have let their child wear spray on trousers and tiny skirts, have necessitated schools stipulating the exact items they need to wear.

Isolation does seem a harsh punishment when it is the parent's fault but how else can schools enforce the rules when some parent's think rules do not apply to them? The child cannot attend class without trousers and parent's would be angry if the child was sent home.

You also often find that it is these parent's who also complain when a school is no good at discipline, yet will not follow the rules themselves.

Fresh countries that don't have school uniform as a rule don't have 'fashion parades'. Kids just wear hings like jeans and hoodies or simioar.Which is exactly what happened at my son's 6th form college. When he had a non uniform day at school all the kids just wore normal clothes they wore at weekends or school holidays.
Your 2nd hand uniform shop is a great idea but it doesn't really work when new heads keep changing uniforms just because they feel like it.
The other day I was asked if I had an old school blazer for a kid who's Mum couldn't afford a new one. Well I do have a perfectly good blazer hanging in my son's wardrobe but unfortunately it's the wrong colour and badge because the new head changed the uniform . Such a waste.

I agree Miaow and Giles. I shop around too because otherwise it can get very expensive. One pair of trousers at (say) £16 is not so expensive but when you have to buy several pairs and your kid grows out of them quickly, then it all starts to add up, doesn't it? And some people are on very tight budgets.

On the issue of uniform itself, I think it's a good idea where it's sensible and the cost isn't prohibitive.

My DS' school, for example, specifies reasonably priced polo shirt and sweatshirt with the school logo or white shirt with school tie. The rest of the uniform can be generic stuff and it's down to the parent to buy what they want as long as it's the right colour. I think all schools which have a uniform should do something similar.

perhaps they're just not sure and want to double check? Perhaps there isn't much choice available and it's either shoes that are possibly 'ambiguous' or no shoes at all

Of course there isn't much choice, that's the whole point you buy the same as everyone else. That's what confounds so many parents, everyone else manages to buy bog standard school uniform.

countries that don't have school uniform as a rule don't have 'fashion parades'.

I am afraid they do. It has to be the right labels, the right tshirt and whatever item is fashionable at the moment. I have heard kids saying they wanted the same coat than a friend at nursery (because it was Peppa Pig or other Paw Patrol coat), it only gets worst. The most expensive items for parents are shoes. I am so glad my kids all have a uniform, we only a pair or 2 of expensive footwear for after school, not for every single day.

Sports shoes would cost the same with or without uniforms.

Of course they are not childcare. I don't recall saying they are
Schools exist because parents are mostly not able to teach everything that their children need to know. Therefore home education isn't a realistic choice for most.

I'm not anti uniform. I think it serves a useful purpose as a social leveller, but some schools are not reasonable and their very expensive single supplier pricing is hurting the very families that a uniform policy is meant to protect.

but some schools are not reasonable
Possibly but when a school is reasonable parents and children seem to take advantage. So there are some parents have spoiled it for the rest.

coddiwomple perhaps thats just wear you live. Other people have said differently.
Kids where we live don't really do labels, though it is true little kids like Peppa pig, etc. There again you can usually buy things like that in supermarkets.
My kids have never had multiple or expensive pairs of shoes,and neither have I. Their trainers come from sports direct, last season designs, usually under £25/30, depending on age. If they didn't have to wear school shoes they would wear the same trainers every day, just as I wear the same shoes every day. They've never been picked on for wearing the wrong trainers or clothes.

I agree with school uniform, I think it instills the right message regarding looking smart and adhering to a uniform that may well be required when going to work after school is finished.
I disagree that it needs to extend to the level of items having to be bought from certain suppliers. I wear black trousers as part of my uniform, that I supply myself. As long as they are 'smart' black trousers, no leggings, jeggings or jeans then I am at liberty to buy £6 ones from asda, or £15 ones from M&S or £35 from Next or whatever shop at whatever cost - the point is as long as they fit the code I can wear them. If my employer stipulated that I must buy them from a choice of 2 shops, at a higher price then I would find this really odd and unfair - for what purpose exactly? I'd be telling the employer that they needed to supply them if they were going to do that. So I don't see how imposing that type of rule to school uniform is any different.
My DDs school only insist on a school logo on the blazer, you can buy all items of uniform from their online shop, but also as long as it fits the code, you can make it if you like! I bought the ready logo'd blazer, but I was at liberty to buy the cheaper option and sew on the logo.
I don't agree with changing the rules on a whim and at short notice, changes should be phased with a clear end date stated. So in the case of the pp and her DS's shoes, the uniform requirements were changed, fair enough, but I would think a Christmas deadline should have been stated - "These shoes will no longer be accepted as part of the uniform, although previously allowed pupils now have until the start of 2018 term to get appropriate footwear" to change a rule, without notice from something previously accepted is wrong, no matter the personal circumstances of the pupil.
On the other hand I also don't agree with parents who don't enforce the uniform policy with their children where the uniform is easily obtained and decently priced. And then complain.
Uniforms should be designed so they are available to all pupils, smart, plain and easily washed. The one bug bear I have the the blazer I've bought from school supplier is it's dry clean only - that's just ridiculous for an item worn every day and that must be given permission to remove etc.
I feel for the PP who has taken an uneeded bashing here this morning over 'shoegate' some of the comments to her are no more than bullying IMO and show a complete lack of tolerance and the assumptions that someone's actual life is just a list of excuses. Just because someone's life doesn't follow a pattern you are familiar with doesn't mean they're playing the victim or anything else, it's just how things are for them.

Ive been a single parent on benefits with not much money too, and yes I managed to get my children full uniform. However, my children were in primary school and primary school uniform isn't really that expensive.

I haven't been a single parent without much money buying high school uniform though, because I would have struggled so hard this year if I wasn't earning what I am now.
The prices for high school uniform are absolutely shocking, and we can sit back comfortable that our children have what they needed this year but it doesn't change the fact that there are many many parents struggling. It doesn't mean they've spent their money wrongly. We have the working poor lining up outside of food banks just to feed their children, the last thing they need is their children being segregated because they can't afford to get all of the completely unnecessary logo uniform.
It's completely unfair.
It doesn't mean they've spent all their money on fags and booze, or that they're shit parents. Decent parents struggle too.

Why do schools need to 'approve' a supplier? Because they want to make money out of parents?
Look at the news ladies, we have children turning up at school visably THINNER than when they broke up. Child poverty is on the rise rapidly and it's a complete shame.

Wow
Not once did I say that primark is available to everyone. I told you what we do. It forces those parents who will not abide by the rules (of which there are some) and buckle under pressure form their children to readdress the shoe situation.
We don't make a fuss we offer to replace.
If they don't like our option they can replace themselves.
And yes we do have two units that offer a full education. Staff have the units on their timetable and teach the children in there so they don't get behind and we are accused of depriving them of their right to be educated.

Good grief, isolation for wearing the wrong trousers? Maybe more parents would conform to the uniform if it was affordable. I have 2 DC, I bought 3 logo'd jumpers and 2 logo'd PE tshirts, it came to £69.96! I get £88 a week.

we have children turning up at school visably THINNER than when they broke up.

kids living in poverty tend to be a lot fatter than their privileged counterparts. It is slightly more expensive to eat healthy food than eating rubbish unfortunately.

It is funny you said that though, we did discuss it at school pick up the other day, but the kids have been running around all summer instead of sitting down in class for hours, so being slimmer is not a bad thing, (even if none of the kids were remotely big to start with). Just a pain to get trousers that are long enough but tight enough at the waist.

I wonder how many children miss school due to not having the correct uniform. I don't mean the ones in isolation, I mean the ones who dont show up because they don't have the correct clothes/shoes/kit either because the parents keep them home out of shame/worry (e.g., don't want them to get punished for something not their fault or don't want people to know they're struggling) or the ones who bunk off because their parents haven't provided them with the correct stuff and they don't want to get wrong at school for something that is, again, not their fault.

I wonder how many children miss school due to not having the correct uniform. I don't mean the ones in isolation, I mean the ones who dont show up because they don't have the correct clothes/shoes/kit either because the parents keep them home out of shame/worry (e.g., don't want them to get punished for something not their fault or don't want people to know they're struggling) or the ones who bunk off because their parents haven't provided them with the correct stuff and they don't want to get wrong at school for something that is, again, not their fault.

Pengggwwn which is great if you can afford it...

kids living in poverty tend to be a lot fatter than their privileged counterparts. It is slightly more expensive to eat healthy food than eating rubbish unfortunately.

There are struggling families who can afford to out food on the table, even if that food is less than optimal, but there are also struggling families who can't. There will be children who have gone without over the holidays and who, having just finished their school lunch, will have probably had their only hot meal for today.

That's true Bearfrills, when DS1 and DD1 were little, they had Marmite on toast 2 meals a day, we went without.

child benefit, child credit etc.. exist to help these families and ensure all children can have a roof over their head, free health care, and food.

kids living in poverty tend to be a lot fatter than their privileged counterparts

Malnutrition can cause fat or thin. I remember two boys from the same family, one was fat and the other thin, but both of them had an unhealthy aspect.

that's a whole other thread, but when you do know that school diner is the only hot meal for some kids (some parents really shouldn't have been allowed to have kids) , it's even more outrageous that these school diners are so unhealthy.
I won't even mention the so-called breakfast at breakfast clubs. It's not right and a much bigger issue than parents who dislike the school logo or the fact that their kids are expected to wear decent shoes - and not fake crocs all year round.

child benefit, child credit etc.. exist to help these families and ensure all children can have a roof over their head, free health care, and food.

Cuts to the welfare system, changes in thresholds and limits, sanctions, the benefit cap, rising rent and fuel costs and so on have massively impacted on families and their ability to make ends meet. Plus the day to day limitations of being poor mean that things the rest of us can access easily tend to be more expensive, for example a lot of people on low incomes or benefits have to use key meters for gas and electricity which costs more per unit. Food shopping mainly needs to be done at the local shop which tends to be more expensive than Tesco or Asda or Aldi which are all a bus ride away, £6 adult return here plus £2-£4 per child depending on how far you're going - that's a big chunk out of someone's shopping budget.

A life on benefits is not the land of milk and honey that the right wing press and Channel 5 poverty porn TV shows make it out to be.

I'm not a believer in uniform at all, but if it must exist it should be able to be purchased in supermarkets. Simple trousers/skirt, jumper, shirt in easily acquired colours and a crest that you can sew on and easily move from an outgrown item to a new one.

We're on WTC coddiwomple, and I can't afford the logo'd items of uniform. The DC get no treats as it is, they actually have to have smaller portions so I can afford the logo'd items.

I agree coddi. Our school has a three week rolling menu. Out of fifteen days of meals pizza is on there three times, chips seven, wedges (aka, chips by a different name) are on three, breaded items are five of the meals, and they have pudding every single day. If I put a bite size brownie in DS packed lunch on a Wednesday it would be sent home with a note reminding me that chocolate is NOT allowed, yet school lunch on a Wednesday features chocolate cake served with chocolate custard

Whole other thread though before we get shushed for derailing