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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Outgrowing names

494 replies

Happydoingitjusttheonce · 05/09/2017 20:22

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

OP posts:
Littlecaf · 06/09/2017 08:16

Personally I prefer the long version of names (William, Alfred, Catherine) then shortened to Billy, Alfie and Cathy informally but I wouldn't judge anyone for using the shortened version as the formal name for their DC. Horses for courses. Names change with fashions and time. All the Lyndas I know were born in the 1970s.

Of the informal names I know...

Bunty (60s)
Alfie (80s, & 2 x 2yr olds)
Harry (20s, 9 & 2)
Stacey (for a boy, now 40)
Ciara and Ciaran (Irish, not sure why that one isn't a proper name)
And tens of Kates, Jennies, Judys, Nikkis etc spanning 80s, to 60s, 30s, 20s and toddlers.

I don't dislike Maggie, but there is noway DP would have a daughter called Margaret or Maggie. For obvious political reasons. I once suggested Cameron and nearly had a 'divorce' on my hands!

SuzukiLi · 06/09/2017 08:24

I've only ever met old men called Alfie. Never met a child called Alfie, definitely and old man name.
And I'm so fucked off to learn that my name, despite me not having anything to in choosing it, might effect my getting a job. Not the fact that I will have done a 4 year degree and a masters. My name. You're absolutely awful OP.

elfinpre · 06/09/2017 08:27

Cameron is still definitely a make name in Scotland

In the rest of the world - Cameron Diaz - it's unisex.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/09/2017 08:28

I wouldn't discriminate against someone what ever their name was. and because I know people like the op who do I have that along with a fair bit of other info removed from applications so it can't happen.

treaclesoda · 06/09/2017 08:31

In rural areas of N Ireland (and I'm guessing possibly Scotland, as I think that is where the tradition possibly came from) it is very common for the eldest son to be given his mother's maiden name. I know surnames as first names is very frowned upon and judged on mumsnet, but I know loads of middle aged farmers and the like with first names like 'Davidson', 'Thompson', 'Jackson', 'Miller' etc. I'm thinking they wouldn't pass the 'unsuitable names' test on mumsnet!

cowgirlsareforever · 06/09/2017 08:33

Ds has a six foot plus mate called Teddy and it really suits him. Ds and Teddy both incidentally sport ketwigs. They are all the rage around here. Think we must live near one another OP.

SamShamAndThePharaohs · 06/09/2017 08:33

My DS has a shortened and kind of cutesy name and honestly, I have regretted the name so many times precisely because of the attitude of people like the OP. The thing is, when we were naming them we really didn't like the long version, and still don't, but the shorter version sounded cute for a toddler, kind of rakish for a young man and fine for an older man. I can also think of several famous adults who are known by the shortened version, despite being given the longer name and I think it suits them.

I do have regular wobbles that it isn't serious enough, but when DS goes for jobs he will likely be up against/interviewed by people with similar names, as they are so fashionable at the moment. He could also change his name by deed poll to the longer version simply for professional purposes if he felt his name would hold him back.

Lastly, as the OP is clearly making class based judgements- last time we went to a National Trust property I was struck by the number of seemingly middle class families whose children were almost exclusively called "cutesy" names. My DS was one of four with the same name. There's a chance they will all have longer names and as adults will go as Archibald, William, Frederick, Margaret, Cecilia and Matilda etc but I imagine a lot of them will stick with the shortened versions so the OP will likely come across plenty of middle class people going as Archie, Billy, Bill, Freddie, Fred, Maggie, Cece and Tilly, for example.

elfinpre · 06/09/2017 08:35

Though you won't believe me, that's not class prejudice

Yes it absolutely IS class prejudice, and it could also be racism in some cases, and if you aren't intelligent enough to understand that, then I feel sorry for you and anyone who has to come across you in real life.

I did name my DDs carefully as I am well-aware that these prejudices exist.

If you are aware these prejudices exist, and continue to brainlessly perpetrate them as some kind of bizarre, fucked up way of recruitment screening, then that makes you an ocean going wankbadger in my book, OP.

babybubblescomingsoon · 06/09/2017 08:37

mummaofboys I'm sorry to hear about your lack of imagination. Must be difficult for you Sad however I can assure you I'm doing just fine over here! Smile

badabing36 · 06/09/2017 08:38

Sorry EZA15 I hear Maggie I think thatcher. Unless of course you like that, which is fair enough.

I have a long name like Elisabeth and I always go by the equivalent of Lizzy. My mum insisted I put my Sunday name on my CV. It hasn't served me well as I now have a minimum wage job. Maybe in future I will use 'Lizzy' on my CV to prevent me from being employed by arseholes.

MachineBee · 06/09/2017 08:46

My DM was a lecturer and she told me when I started in same profession to learn everyone's names in my classes by the third week at the latest.

She also said anyone called Maxine would be spiteful and Amanda's would be rather precious.

My first lesson came round and I walked in to find an Amanda arguing with a Maxine because Maxine had deliberately knocked Amanda's designer handbag off the table! I struggled to keep my face straight. Grin

derxa · 06/09/2017 08:48

In rural areas of N Ireland (and I'm guessing possibly Scotland, as I think that is where the tradition possibly came from) it is very common for the eldest son to be given his mother's maiden name. I know surnames as first names is very frowned upon and judged on mumsnet, but I know loads of middle aged farmers and the like with first names like 'Davidson', 'Thompson', 'Jackson', 'Miller' etc. Yes in Scotland too.
I know a Meikle. Farmers give their children very traditional names.
Robert James Euan William etc. The girls have a bit more leeway but not much. Lucy is quite exotic.

BillBrysonsBeard · 06/09/2017 08:49

In 10 years or probably less, the Alfies and Charlies will be the norm as they will be everywhere as teenagers and adults. Just like our grandparents probably thought all the Emmas, Matthews and Stevens etc sounded odd to them.

NotACleverName · 06/09/2017 08:50

Well I for one am glad that the OP decided to break out the c-word a few pages back, thus confirming her class prejudice.

You're a terrible snob and I definitely wouldn't want to work for you.

elfinpre · 06/09/2017 08:52

Alfie was a grown (philandering) man's name to me before it was a little boy's name. Michael Caine, Jude Law, Burt Bacharach song, anyone?

Happydoingitjusttheonce · 06/09/2017 08:55

But it's not brainless. It's based on experience. Years of it in a professional environment. You don't have to like it people, but it's my experience.

Maggie though a nice name strikes me as frivolous.

In my experience school is definitely not a marker and I've experienced both private and public sector schools personally and professionally. If school was a marker for the person who recruited me years ago then I wouldn't have got passed the bin. I'd have survived.

When I had my son, our head of HR said "what a great name (both first and surname together) it conjures up the image of a tall, striking man striding into the office in a well cut suit". He was named after his deceased grandfather. He's a tall and good looking teenager but yet to wear his school uniform in any other way than tramp like. These value judgments happen.

OP posts:
thecatsthecats · 06/09/2017 08:58

My mum keeps wanting to use her favourite aunt's name as a writing pseudonym - Annie. My mum is 72. It just feels so off to me, in ways I can't express. I think it's partly that the full name (inc. an adopted surname) just doesn't sound like something you'd see on the front of a book.

elfinpre · 06/09/2017 09:02

Ever heard of Annie Proulx, thecats?

BitchQueen90 · 06/09/2017 09:07

My DS has a name that is commonly given to pets, not an "ee" name though. Never occured to me that it might go against him in later life, there are a lot of grown men with the same name. Infinitely better than names like "Chardonnay" IMO. Grin

LillianGish · 06/09/2017 09:09

Call your baby something cutsie by all means, but give them them a formal name they can revert to should the need the arise. That's what used to happen - that's no doubt why there are hundreds of derivatives of Elizabeth for instance or William. No one should be discriminated against on the basis of their name, but that clearly does happen as this thread shows. You can call your child any diminutive you like (and their peers will anyway - that's what nicknames are for), but you keep their options open if they also have a proper name to fall back on.

Poppingoffnow · 06/09/2017 09:12

I don't think Alfie is particularly cutesie at all, I know a good few adult Alfies.

I hire people and don't give a shiny shit about anyone's name if they're qualified for the job.

Anything else is snobbery.

MrsKoala · 06/09/2017 09:15

Oldowl DD was nearly Posie (Persephone) but she was dark and we expected her to be blonde and she just didn't suit it. I still love it tho. I find this a MN phenomena as no one I have ever encountered in RL seems to care at all. We all just choose names we like and everyone says 'oh that's nice' and never thinks about it again. To kids all names are new - the first Sarah they meet is as new as the first Hecuba.

I should never read name threads, they always get my blood pressure up and me muttering under my breath for hours after! Grin

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 06/09/2017 09:23

I used to go out with an Alfie abusive violent cunt .. It was never cutesy, it was just his name. A lot of people called him Alf mind.

MrsJayy · 06/09/2017 09:24

So basically op you are dismissing Cvs because a name irritates you so you are being elitist and dismissing Charlies and Teddies for Theodores and Charles that isn't professional at all you are pre judging a persons character background parents on a name that annoys you Hmm

SuperBeagle · 06/09/2017 09:39

OP, what sort of names have you given your children? Or what will you give them?

Wondering if this is a Katie Hopkins people-who-name-their-children-country-names-are-tacky-but-it's-fine-that-I-named-my-child-India situation. Grin

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