Outgrowing names

[Happydoingitjusttheonce]

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

DD hated us for giving her the formal version - never liked it, wanted to change it right from a very young child. So you can never tell that you're doing the right thing.

Crochet, I say nothing to my son about the names of the numerous Daisies and Maisies and Mollies that he is friends with, and I don't regale him with tales of my cv filtering strategy over dinner

do you also discriminate against ethnic sounding names too?

Apols museum mum, I misspelt. It's a ket wig

I get what you mean about some childish names but Alfie doesn't strike me as one. There are loads of adult Alfies in the public eye. Hell there's even a film about one!

OP if you recognise that you have that prejudice then really you should do something about it, for your own self interest of nothing else (e.g. so they you employ the best people, but just those with the right names).

No Silverthorn, I don't. So much so I gave my own son one owing to his father's heritage

It's a ket wig with an autocorrect fail. It's also where my sister lives which has had me chuckling tonight.

I have this thought about little girls called molly, Millie and Maisie too!

I went to school with one he would be 40 now. His mum was a big Michael Caine fan.

I know it's a very snobby opinion, but I do agree that giving a shortening of a name as a 'full' name can be outgrown. 'Bobby', 'Freddie', 'Billy' really feel like they're cutsey nicknames, I'd feel rather awkward referring to someone I just met by a name I'd assume only their mums called them. Having said that, I think there's a couple of exceptions to the rule, like 'Sam' or 'Max'.

Benedict Cumberbatch surprised me just naming his son 'Hal', it doesn't feel like a complete name. Each to their own though, obviously as long as it's pronounceable and doesn't lead to teasing, it's really not worthy of comment.

(but thank you for educating me re ket wigs - every day's a school day)

I agree with you there, Benedikte

Though it' a bit harder for parents who love the name Billy, having to face up to the fact that their 16yo wants to be called Will, from wow on or their Polly wants to revert to Mary (or just call herself PJ!)

I think ket wig may be regional

This type of thing pops up on Baby Names all the time. Someone on one thread said "if you choose a popular name you have no imagination and if you choose something unusual/cutesy then they'll never be a judge". It's ridiculous that people's CVs are binned just on their name alone. Hopefully it isn't a widespread practice otherwise there'll be a whole host of people stuck in unemployment just because of their name. Which, as I've said, is ridiculous and unjustifiable. Tight job market is no excuse.

I would also note, I know someone who's little boy is 'Alfred', and only 'Alfred' (not ever Alfie or Freddie). Seems such a serious, old-man name for a little boy. Guess can't do right for wrong when it comes to names!

do you also discriminate against ethnic sounding names too?

And this is the crux of it - it's discrimination, perhaps not racially in this case but maybe class discrimination? Or parenting? Honestly I think application ought to be name blind because of unconscious biases.

I'm not trying to accuse any one of of an active moral wrong here, but - people don't choose their own names, on the whole. It's very unfair to reject CVs on that basis. But yet names are such signifiers of all sorts of things it's all hard not to be biased - the case of the teacher being a prime example!

I know I've been very judgey of class signifying names in the past and I hope I've stopped now but I would like to have the added help of application forms with only numbers on them.

Never heard of Teddy or Alfie being only a toddler name, I know older men named those names. My great Grandad was a Teddy. Maybe it's cultural/regional but they are pretty standard working class London names.

I have a cutesy name. I do wonder what people think when I introduce myself in professional settings.

But it does happen Toffee as evidenced by this thread and what you've read on Baby Names. Parents need to name their child something they like but in the best long term interests of the child

I have to agree with op, I don't like shortened versions of real names. It just feels like its a nickname and if im speaking to a stranger i have the urge to call them by the "proper" version of their name, like Alfred, rather than alfie

Hopefully it isn't a widespread practice otherwise there'll be a whole host of people stuck in unemployment just because of their name.

Honestly (though I have no proof), I genuinely think my name has held me back. It's the sort of name you'd read and think 'gosh that's chavvy', in the same vein as Britney or Chantelle. Very easy to say 'oh people are better than to discriminate on names' but I've had plenty of people tell me (once they 'knew' me), how they judged me before they spoke to me, purely on hearing my name. Even my own partner says I have a 'horrible' name and not sure what my parents were thinking....

Teddy, can be formally named Theodore and Ted is a short and more adult version that can be used at school for example.

sported by young men who use the funds they would have spent on the barber to buy ketamine instead

I know it happens. I just think it's a bit ridiculous. Really daft names like Bunnie or whatever, yes, but some name shortenings are so common these days they've become names in their own right.