Outgrowing names

[Happydoingitjusttheonce]

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

HA yes that is what if it is Katie ... nah it can't be

What I was thinking* god knows what tripe is supposed to be

Toby is the name I always think of in this situation.

OP- if a very qualified Jimmy goes for a job in your company and is rejected because you would rather a James, you could be investigated for discrimination during the hiring process if Jimmy, or anyone else, decided to ask questions about your methods.

My parents nearly gave me a name which they thought was beautiful but is now considered naff. Had they gone with this name then I would still have got the same qualifications, work experience etc, but I would possibly have had to work harder to prove myself to people like you who would have made less positive assumptions about my background, my intelligence and my ability. You seem to think that parents who don't give their children solidly middle class names are doing them a disservice because they will be judged, but in my opinion it's you doing them a disservice by discriminating against them based on your value judgments. And how far does that prejudice extend? What about names that aren't from middle class white British culture? Can you imagine giving birth to a much longed for, much loved baby, and giving it a name from your culture or your family tree, thinking what a beautiful name for your beautiful child then coming on mumsnet and hearing people sneering that it's a "chav" name or one that would be rejected by an employer because they think it denotes you as working class, and heaven forbid someone be working class. Knowing that no matter what they achieved, you would rather hire someone whose name fit your idea of respectability?

My son has a foreign name and surname. He was named after his deceased grandfather. His first name which is Hebrew in origin is common but dated in his father's birth country. If my son was to take up the advantage of his dual citizenship then who knows how his name would be perceived. But here the name stands out in so far a positive way

"Jimmy" would not end up in the bin. It's very subjective. People should worry less about what others think of their chosen baby name. It's your choice, stand by it and be happy with it, regardless of what others think. I don't rule the world, I only control who ends up in my small but successful team. I'll do that my way.

28ish years ago I worked with preschoolers the name that was mocked was Kylie they were mocked and sniggered at and lots of what sort of name is that ... recently I was at the Drs and was seen my GP Kylie it amused me and made mefeel ancient

Not sure how ethical or legal it is to discard someone's CV/ not even give them a chance because of their name. You sound like a judgemental ass.

I started using my middle name after in a job interview I was told that they didn't expect someone with a name like mine to apply ie my name was too chavvy. That's why I was careful to give my children classic names (full version).

I don't think the Op cares much as far as they are concerned they can dismiss Teddy Smiths Cv all they like. Toatally un ethiical

Alfie is normal for a young man.

It's all about context - a Chardonnay-Blue from Cheltenham Ladies College probably won't get her CV binned but a Chardonnay-Blue from Scrogg Road Sink Comp (made up example, hopefully doesn't really exist) might.

Middle class kids from naice families will generally do fine regardless of what they're called. I think I'd be choosing more carefully if I had aspirations for my child and knew they wouldn't be able to rely on their background or connections to open doors.

Middle class kids from naice families will generally do fine regardless of what they're called

Quite. And naice MC children are often called cutesie names these days.

I have no problem being called a judgmental ass, if that's what I am. Been called a lot worse.

The problem is that many of these names aren't names in their own right but pet forms or shortenings of real names. Register your kid as Alfred but then call him Alfie, as Katherine then call her Katie etc. but it doesn't work in reverse, as they will find out every time they have to complete a form as an adult and wonder why their parents didn't realise they'd be stuck with a cutesy toddler's name for life.

As for CVs, some PPs have never had to wade through a pile a foot high applying for one position with likely candidates to be discussed at a meeting in half an hour. You may start off trying to be fair but soon you look for any reason at all to dump one and pass on the the next. I've binned CVs because they were printed on coloured paper in a dodgy font, and certainly because I didn't like the applicant's name, not because it reflects on the applicant but on their parents and likely upbringing.

Even worse than toddler names were inventions with apostrophes or hyphens (unless legit French ones like Jean-Claude) or plain mad ones like Jamie Oliver or Bob Geldof seem to delight in inflicting on their children.

And (i) Annie Proulx's name is actually Edna Ann Proulx, my point exactly; (ii) I find it hard to believe any parents who could afford to send their daughter to Cheltenham would dream of calling her Chardonnay-Blue.

Hallelujah Whollyfather

This CV selection "method" all just sounds like a big pile of bullshit you've made up to try and prove your original point. And the thing the HR boss supposedly said

I'd believe someone admitting they may be guilty of unconscious bias, but calling it a "method" and actively discriminating this way is something completely different.

Olivia sounds fairly middle class

@NeedsAsockamnesty

To me it screams I'm not middle class but I really really want to be so I'm going to call my child Olivia put on a fake posh accent and be unpleasant to people that work in marks and Spencer's whilst I'm in there buying hideous pink frocks, I may also take up clicking my fingers at waiters and be vile to anybody I perceive to be below me.

It's not poor Olivia's fault of course and I rather like to imagine that she does ok in life despite her parents because her grandparents are more than likely quite lovely and normal but she will have to work hard to make sure she doesn't pick up the parents accent or behaviour.

Do you need to borrow my wheelbarrow to carry that wardrobe sized chip on your shoulder? It's GOT to be weighing you down.

The only people I know with daughters called Olivia, are perfectly lovely, hardworking people who liked the name.

Did someone attack your child's name or something. Jeezuz, what a nasty post!

People are going to judge you (and your kids) on what names you give your kids; it happens, people do it, and there is sod-all you can do about it.

When I see normal names spelt weirdly, and surnames for Christian names - IN THE UK - it makes me cringe. So does seeing foreign names when the family has no roots in that country. Eg, why the fuck would you call your child Chantal if your family history goes back 10 generations in Bolton?!

I used to work in a school when my kids were school age, and without a shadow of a doubt, the badly behaved, rebellious kids who made life hard for all the teachers and who disrupted the class for the other kids, were not called Charles, Edward, or Alexander; or Olivia, Charlotte, or Harriet.

There may be a few judgmental people on this thread (including me and the OP @happydoingitjusttheonce,) but there are also plenty of people with a chip on their shoulder, and who are projecting massively. As I said, people do judge people on their names, and they WILL judge people on their names. Just accept it and move on.............

Why is 'being judgemental' so bad anyway? EVERYONE IS!

Yeah, even YOU!!!!!!!!

It's not woolly tights, and the HR head made the comment. You don't have to believe it but your view doesn't change the truth of it

Don't see any problem with Annie. My grandmother, born in 1898 was Annie on her birth certificate.

When I see normal names spelt weirdly, and surnames for Christian names - IN THE UK - it makes me cringe

But surnames for Christian names are traditional in Scotland and N Ireland. You cringe at traditional names?

I don't think NeedsAsockamnesty was claiming that she wasn't judgemental.

I agree with her about olivia.

I also judge people who use more than one exclamation point and caps lock but that's just me I can't help it .

A poster up thread with a master's degree was worried that her name might effect her chances of getting a job - possibly, but poor grammar would affect her chances more.