Outgrowing names

[Happydoingitjusttheonce]

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

It's not that I didn't realise name prejudice existed, it obviously does, but they someone like the OP, who appears to be reasonably intelligent, can recognise the fact that she is biased but think that it is totally fine to continue discriminating against people in that way.

This is why i would find naming a child unbelievably hard.
I'm 27, and a good few of my old classmates have got children now, and most seem to have really none traditional names.
The one i dislike the most is Kiara (key-R-a) im pretty sure it was the name of a character in a disney animal film, but it just seems very childish, and not something a teen/adult would suit.
It's mostly the male names though. Theres a Blaydon, Jaylen, Laylen, Kylan, Rylan, and an Alfie. There a few more normal ones like Bradley, Edward, Oliver but the others all just sound very childish.
Sure they sound cutesy and they suit alright when the kid is a baby, toddler, at primary school, but the parents don't seem to look as far ahead as when they're a teenager, or young adult, going out, having girlfriends, applying for jobs, getting married etc.
Yes admitedly i don't like "old fashioned" names like betty and henry, as they are names that due to my own age ive always associated with elderly people of my grandparents generation as thats when they were popular, but there are so many names that are ageless and don't only suit someone who is a child or older. People are too hooked on the being "unique" right now, and it the kids that will ultimately suffer their parents weird and wacky name choices.

There are loads of names listed here that people are saying are cutesy baby names that I don't associate with being baby names at all. The only Billys, Tillys and Maisies that I know are in their 80s, it would never have crossed my mind until reading this thread that people might view them as cutesy.

The other thing I wondered about was recruitment practices. I'm assuming the OP is in England, and I was wondering is it normal for one person to decide who gets called to interview there? With the exception of tiny one man band type businesses, deciding who gets an interview here wouldn't come down to one person, it would be decided by a shortlisting panel of probably three people. Presumably to try to prevent this sort of thing.

toffee1000 Tue 05-Sep-17 21:57:11
Chantal is a French name. Nothing weird or cutesy about it.

I was going to use it as DD4's middle name as she was born near the old calendar feast of Jane de Chantal, the French saint (a nun who founded a religious order). It would have been very nice. I think it may have a different flavour in RC culture than outside of it, the same way that Octavia is a signifier of different cultures on different sides of the Atlantic. I am not implying anything but difference in perception here, and I do so because I find it interesting. I have an Irish name that wouldn't raise any eyebrows at all in Ireland that is considered incredibly exotic in the US.

I think people should try to imagine a 55 year old woman when naming baby girls in particular. Some names imo do not wear well all through life. You can see either a three year old or someone's great grandmother with the name but it's hard to imagine an average looking woman of average weight and height and occupation bearing the name anywhere from age 35 to the late 70s.

OP, I think if what you are doing with CVs is not illegal, it should be.

To the poster flummoxed by Posie and Kissie-Lee...
Posy (or Posie) is an old, old nickname for Josephine.

The one i dislike the most is Kiara (key-R-a) im pretty sure it was the name of a character in a disney animal film, but it just seems very childish, and not something a teen/adult would suit.

Kiara is just an Anglicisation of the Italian name Chiara. Traditional name. Nothing trendy about it.

Beau is pretty unisex these days, like Cameron.

Of course names have associations for all of us. I won't pretend I don't make assumptions about people if all I know of them is their name, but bloody hell, I do my best to avoid those prejudices coming into my work. Unless you are prepared to say to your Board 'I eliminate CVs based on the applicant's first name'. If you're not prepared to admit it publicly, how about not doing it? Get applicants to apply anonymously or get another staff member to cut all the identifying details off.

As for Chantal being an odd name because too French, what about Charles and Charlotte?

My last word on the subject and it will be controversial but in my experience there's some truth to it...to the poster who said your name is the only thing you can't control on your cv. That's true but your parents can and you are the product of their genes and nurturing. Their choice can be reflective of that. Though you won't believe me, that's not class prejudice, that's the reality of needing a high quality work force in a professional, pressured and competitive environment. I deal frequently with other professionals in my industry and others. Trust me, I'm not the only one.

Upshot is, name prejudice won't go away so name your kids wisely.

I'm afraid I continue to think it is indeed class prejudice. I hope if you are lucky enough to have Brian White apply to your company in 3 years' time you will at least Google him before chucking his CV in the bin.

How sad you are so proud of such a petty prejudice op and the fact you admit to acting on it in job selection makes you morally corrupt. You see fit to pass judgement and issued edicts to others. Your time might be better spent reflecting on your own failings.

What would you do with Autumn Kelly and Zara Phillips' CVs?

And we wonder why equally qualified candidates from less well off families don't get a look in...

Social mobility it seems is not allowed in ops company.

I have no doubt that sort of prejudice exists. Still, it's sad to hear it.

Amy is a normal name. Aimee is not a normal name. It is a weird spelling of Amy. I know someone age 60ish called Millie (Milena), and I must say it doesn't seem at all weird. I actually think of Millie and Alfie as old names not baby names. Alfie is either 2 or 80 in my mind! It's just name popularity as people say, it will shift. Claire and Emma are already women in their 30s names, whereas it must have been number 1/2 baby name in the 80s.

It's not a matter of pride (and I've already said it may be wrong and I don't admit to it in the real world) but it's what I do. Not sure who you think I'm issuing edicts too, makes me sound rather grand. I reflect on my failings (of which there are many) very often. I think some of you need to realise there is what goes on inside of your heads then there is reality, and it's a bloody tough place reality. Hard to take but there you have it. And I had a great Brian on my team. He got promotion.

Happy so I'm pregnant and on the shortlist is Maggie, do you think this is setting her up for a fail job wise, in the future? Genuinely curious?

Maggie is a perfectly sensible name. I'd immediately think of an older person because most of the Maggie's I know are my mum's age but it gives no negative connotations whatsoever and it's a hell of a lot better than Margaret which is a proper granny name - see that's my bias, and we all can have them

My son Alfred is SO cute that we call him Alfie-Boo. I'm sure it will be a blessed relief to him to adopt a sensible adult name like just plain Alfie

Ciara, Kiara are very very common Irish names. Wouldn't be the first time the Irish have been discriminated against in the U.K.

Presumably you look on the school too, as a social marker?

After all why not? You need professional people after all!

I hear you - and I think a lot of us do similar in expectation and thought. Purely because names are a social marker.

Sometimes mumsnet gives such a crystal clear window into why society is so broken.

Aimee is just the french spelling of Amy.

This thread has blown my mind that people are so ridiculous.
OP, 'its what i do' is not justification or good enough. stop doing it. and then thats one less biased human in the world.

My children have welsh first names. traditional names, but not 'English'. I would hope its not going to go against them!