Outgrowing names

[Happydoingitjusttheonce]

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

Who said they were bad people? And frankly I don't care how it's looked upon on here. I didn't come to seek validation of my approach to hiring.

What about the success of Dr Pixie McKenna from Embarassing Bodies? Doesn't seem to have held her back.

DS goes to school with: Bernard, Adrian, Martin, Luke, John, Nathanial, Martina, Iris, Minerva, Ilona, Julia, Arlet, Nora... Interesting bunch. They're all 5-6yo.

The "class" associations of names changes over time as names go in and out of fashion. The best example I can think of is Samantha, which when I was young ( a long time ago) was considered very posh but became much less so when Samantha Fox was constantly on page 3 of the Sun.

Many old-fashioned names seem to be resurrected by the middle classes looking for something unusual and before you know it there are masses of them and the middle classes move on. When my 20 yr old was born, I knew one baby Alfie and everyone commented on how unusual the name was.

Dr Pixie is really a Bernadette.

I'm not really sure of the response you were hoping to get OP? You posted quite a controversial thread, surely you expected reactions and disagreement?

There was a man on the radio the other morning.
His given name was a Nigerian name (I think) but at 9 his mother changed his name to John as she realised that having a Nigerian name would hold him back.

Oh horrible person OP!
Didn't you know that horrible people are hounded to the end in the Mumsnet utopia.
The only allowable view is that all names are equal, all accents are equal and that all backgrounds & behavioural choices should be tolerated & accommodated.

I have to admit if I hear "Joan" I immediately think of an older person. (I know several Joans, all of them over sixty.) It felt odd reading about a teenage Joan in the Chalet School. So I admit to having preconceptions about names. I think Alfie's all right though.

Here's a line from a book called The Temp:

Lucy (I'll believe in the classless society when city executives are called Kylie) sneers at me and says "you're late".

The title character also says: "I've been counting, and do you know how many people have called me by my name since I started this temping lark? None, not one." She also says "Every week I go to another place where I'm known behind my back as 'the temp' and to my face as 'um, hi.'"

I was working with/around young children for a few years - ooh, about 13-16 years ago - and thought at the time I was coming across a lot of names that wouldn't age well. Alfie and Archie and the like in particular struck me that way. Much better to give a child a name to grow into, than a name to grow out of. More simply, if you give them a "full" name then you and later they or their friends can choose the shortened or pet forms as they wish, and change around over time.

whats wrong with Aimee? that's a completely normal name!

I'm not sure that I could ever take the American names "Junior" or "Buddy" seriously.

I know a toddler called Tony. It seems weird, like he should be a white van man with a belly hanging over his jeans, a cockney accent and a pencil behind his ear.
He'll probably grow into it when he's 43 and losing his hair

Of course I did Sparkles. I asked did kids out grow cutesy names as the Alfie I saw clearly had. If I'd had a girl and stuck with the name choice I'd be regretting it shortly. I then said I wouldn't take a cv from a teddy seriously, "however wrong that may be". It may be wrong, but I'm not going to stop doing it and didn't come here to be talked out of it, though kudos to those who tried. I'm not a horrible person as it happens but it doesn't matter whether you or anyone else here thinks I am. This isn't a place to come looking for universal vindication, it's the internet

Hiding, I heard that too. It was on BH, R4 9a.m Sunday.

John or Jon give a different impression, and John gives a different impression to it's equivalents - Johann, Juan, Gianni, Sean, Ioan etc.

What is the negative association with Olivia? The only association I get is it's fairly middle-class

To me it screams I'm not middle class but I really really want to be so I'm going to call my child Olivia put on a fake posh accent and be unpleasant to people that work in marks and Spencer's whilst I'm in there buying hideous pink frocks, I may also take up clicking my fingers at waiters and be vile to anybody I perceive to be below me.

It's not poor Olivia's fault of course and I rather like to imagine that she does ok in life despite her parents because her grandparents are more than likely quite lovely and normal but she will have to work hard to make sure she doesn't pick up the parents accent or behaviour

I knew a baby called Tony and a 16yo called Doris. Which always makes me think of True Lies

I can't comprehend name bias on CVs as it's the one Fucking thing on your CV you have nothing to do with it

NK

Wherever you get your kicks I guess!

Do I like OP's use of name as a selection criteria? No. Does that mean that what she (and some others) say on this thread about perceptions of names are irrelevant? No.

Ideally, of course we would all judge each other on the quality of our character rather than name/age/gender/sexuality/race/appearance etc etc. And we should certainly make an effort to do that ourselves, raise our children to do that and encourage it in others. But at the same time it would be stupid not to acknowledge the fact that others don't always behave the way that we'd wish them to.

Lots of PP have referred to made-up names or unusual spellings, and this seems even more clear-cut than names considered a bit babyish. Obviously, name choice is up to parents and they are free in this country to pick Livvie / Kylie / Laycee or anything else for their DC, and lots of people choose names which to which they have a sentimental attachment, but it is a fact that many of the people DC will meet will make value judgements about the person behind the name. Moreover, some names - such as James - are relatively 'neutral' in terms of not having strong associations with a particular personality trait/class/professional path, whereas other names could be potentially more limiting (of course it doesn't mean that Laycee can't or won't be a judge/academic/engineer, but it might be a bit harder, she might face prejudice, she might be one of those people who dislike their name because it doesn't suit who she is). And I think one thing that parents really should try to do is not put obstacles in the way of their child.

Needsasock you just made my night ! So true

My brother's birth name is James Randolph. My father had grand ideas of him bearing the noble moniker of "J Randolph" and being a powerful businessman.

At 55 years old...he is still "Randy".

Two things I'm glad I did today:

1. Read an abandoned copy of The Sun in the tube
2. Read this thread

Both have popped my nice liberal bubble and made me quite angry which is not a pleasant feeling but overall is probably beneficial.