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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Outgrowing names

494 replies

Happydoingitjusttheonce · 05/09/2017 20:22

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

OP posts:
2ndSopranos · 05/09/2017 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eifla · 05/09/2017 22:50

I scoff whenever I hear Alfie being used to call a child/teen.

My dog is Alfie - there didn't seem to be any about when I named him fourteen years ago!

2ndSopranos · 05/09/2017 22:51

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Happydoingitjusttheonce · 05/09/2017 22:51

I don't have the bloody time sparkles! I get cvs given to me based on who has applied, no pre filtering by hr. If the candidate is called Catherine and her cv has a typo, it's in the bin.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happydoingitjusttheonce · 05/09/2017 22:52

Yes soprano but not in relation to age, sex or ethnicity

OP posts:
Fifthtimelucky · 05/09/2017 22:54

I'm another one who deliberately chose to give my children long names that could be shortened. I am now the only person who calls my younger daughter by her full name, just as my mother was the only person who ever called me by my full name!

Both girls have long names, shortened versions ending in "y" or "ie" and even shorter versions that don't sound so childish. Think Rosemary/Rosie/Ros. They both currently go by the middle version of their names but tend to use the longer one for formal things like university applications or registering with the doctor. It will be interesting to see if that changes as they get older.

Goshthatwentwell · 05/09/2017 22:54

I can't understand why some of you feel names mean nothing when parents actually have the job of choosing them.
If they all got picked in a lottery then, yes, no judgement at all but Will and Kate are never going to call their child Ahmed or Kelli or Sunshine are they. But other parents will.
So whilst I agree you can't tell how good someone will be at there job or if they are decent human beings you can't help but form an opinion surely?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 05/09/2017 22:55

peppa

There is a good argument to be had for your expectations shaping the behaviour.

Fwiw.

One persons view on a stupid/working class/two poncey/ cutsie/anything else negative name may very well be thought of as perfect by someone else,

I don't much like the name Olivia and to me it says something quite negative about the parents but lots of people love it so I guess it's a good job I only get to name my own kids and I'm sensible enough to not allow myself to discriminate against a job applicant based on my perception of their parents.

WineAndTiramisu · 05/09/2017 22:55

toffee1000 if you think you have no personal bias, you've probably just not realised it yet... Almost everyone does in one way or another

MikeUniformMike · 05/09/2017 22:58

If you were told that your brother was seeing a woman called Britney, would you have some idea of what to expect? What about a new colleague called Mary or Kylie or Becky or Sue?
How about you are about to meet someone called Kiran or Ashley?

Sparklesocks · 05/09/2017 22:58

I think it's a real shame OP, you could be passing over talented candidates with potential all due to their name.

And typos in CVs isn't the same - I agree that could show a lack of attention to detail and they might not be the person you want, but that's something the candidate can control. Their name is quite a different story.

Original poster
Happydoingitjusttheonce · 05/09/2017 22:59

I have a personal bias against hooded young men smoking cannabis walking a certain type of dog off the lead. That manifests by putting my dog back on the lead and changing direction. Unreasonable? I don't have a personal bias against people from an ethic background or mature people, in any area of my life. But I do apply but hide my personal bias against the cv's of young people with chav names when I need to look through a lot of cv's and employ someone in a professional environment.

OP posts:
toffee1000 · 05/09/2017 22:59

Of course I have personal bias. I am not in a position where I recruit people for jobs unlike OP. I'm not a teacher either nor do I plan to be.

MikeUniformMike · 05/09/2017 23:00

Bet Kate is reading this right now and thinking Sunshine Cambridge sounds great and oh goody it's unisex. Prince or Princess Sunny.

toffee1000 · 05/09/2017 23:01

OK so basically you're a snob. You silently judge your child's friends based on their names, as well as when you're sifting through CVs.
You sound like a horrible person OP.

Sparklesocks · 05/09/2017 23:02

You can say it's names - but really you have bias against the working class OP and people you deem 'beneath you'. it's very clear from your posts. Also using words like 'chav' says it all.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 05/09/2017 23:02

happy what's a chav name?

fridgepants · 05/09/2017 23:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

myusernameisnotmyusername · 05/09/2017 23:03

I went out with an 'Alf' when I was 18. He was 24 and totally got the piss taken because 'Alfred' as he was named (after his grandad) wasn't 'cool'. This was 1999. Now there are loads of 'Alfie's'. I think 'Alfie' can suit an older man.

Original poster
Happydoingitjusttheonce · 05/09/2017 23:04

You're probably right Sparkles but I have a smashing team. It includes an Aimee who was internal transfer. A name I would overlook usually. But for every Aimee there are many equally good candidates.

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ujerneyson · 05/09/2017 23:04

I'm the opposite to most on here. Until I came on MN I hadn't really heard of people choosing long names and deliberately calling their child by a nickname. If the child has a nickname then it is one which have developed over time not one which is given. I have friends called Katie, Molly, Beth, Annie etc and my own full name is a nickname (which I didn't even realise until I came on here) and i have never even given it a moments thought. The Zack, Jake, Alfie, Libby, Maisie, Theo, Tilly's I know are just that and they are names of their times which is perhaps why one might say that they can't imagine a profession with those names but that's because 40 years ago those names were barely used. They are perfectly sensible classic names unlike the coco, mimi, angel, bear and Blues of this world where I probably would wonder what parents were thinking

Original poster
Happydoingitjusttheonce · 05/09/2017 23:06

I held back on chav but that's what it is. My dad was a manual worker and my mum worked in a shop. I don't look down on anyone. But I do want good quality people on my team. I've been doing it long enough to have seen a pattern. Sorry if you don't like that but it's my experience.

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toffee1000 · 05/09/2017 23:07

I'm not even going to bother anymore. OP is clearly a stuck-up snob given her recent updates and usage of the word chav about names. That's not looked upon kindly on here, OP. See? Not all people with names you deem "chav" are bad people who wouldn't be any use at your job.

Acromantula · 05/09/2017 23:09

I was watching a TV programme the other day and they were interviewing a very intelligent and interesting female computer expert called Muffy. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muffy_Calder]

AIBU but to me Muffy sounds like a name for a small fluffy animal, or a cutesy little girl.

I wonder how long it took her to get people to take her seriously with that name.

MikeUniformMike · 05/09/2017 23:09

fridgepants, the negativity about names that are very popular is that they are just too popular. I saw a photo of Olivia Colman and Olivia Williams in the paper, and a photo in a magazine of two Freyas and another person.