Outgrowing names

[Happydoingitjusttheonce]

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

It's one of my methods computer. And of course I'd never tell anyone in reality that the name was what made me pass over. I've told you and you don't have to like it. But it is one of my methods. If I had 5 cvs for one job, I wouldn't be so picky. But when I've 100 for one job?

Good point steppemum. By the time the current playground crop are job seeking, I won't be doing the hiring

You would be more effective randomly down selecting than using your "method".

How do you know how effective I
Computer?

My key naming criteria for my dd was a long formal name that could be shortened to something more cutsey for childhood. As she decided to dump her 'baby name' and use her full name when making the change to secondary school, she clearly has outgrown it, and I feel vindicated!!

I agree with you, I also don't like cutesy names or flowery names. But it did make naming DD harder!

I have friends who have named their son Bear, another one with a Teddy and someone who's sons name is perfectly normal but she's decided now he's 4 she doesn't like so she calls him Teddy instead, at least one of them has a formal name to revert to!

As it stands DD is 2, and knows her formal name (think Elizabeth but not) but is called by several variants by family/her friends/nursery (Liz/Lizzy etc) but at least she has a choice.

Some names are ok though. Like Katie or Sam or Dan, you can get away with using them as a name in their own right, but names like Teddy or Billy for me are a no-no.

I hope I would never discard a CV because of a name. Someone upthread said they would judge a person negatively who didn't change a silly name, but I think a lot of people might avoud changing the name so as not to upset their parents.
Also you do get so used to your own name that you almost don't hear it or register any associations after a while.
Or it might just be that they think 'why the fuck should I change it because some people are judgy'.

OP I do recruitment too and ruling out a candidate over their name could be seen as discrimatory, as someone's name/gender/age/nationality etc has no bearing on how well they can do the job.

A friend's daughter is called Beth and in second year uni doing law. She's toyed with changing her name to Elizabeth to be taken seriously in job hunting. But she's decided Beth is a serious enough name. She's 20 and understands the reality of the competitive world.

Sparkle When I had a visit from the health visitor while pregnant with DD she openly admitted she automatically subconsciously judges parents for the name they give their child, and will avoid working with people who've given their child a "stupid" name because she thinks the parents are going to more argumentive/unco-operative with, so I think it happens right from birth you know? I don't think it's something we can help

Unlike race, age and even accent to a large extent, names can be changed.
only if you have a uk passport, or a passport of a country that allows name change... just saying.

Absolutely peppa, we all have bias whether we mean to or not, but it's important to check yourself (particularly in recruitment etc) and think am I thinking negatively about this person because they're not right for the role - or is it something else? Easier said than done I know

I knew someone called Candy (real name). She used to put Candice on job applications though after a tip off from a recruitment agency that she might get a better reception, and it turned out to be true.

I am a name snob, I admit. I really hate kids being given diminutives as their proper names. It looks as if the parents just couldn't be bothered.

Having said that though my daughter is always called Bunny. It's not her real name but rather chavtastic according to this thread.

Sparkle I don't know what it is. I did teacher training and when I got my class lists I can tell you I judged a child on their name before I'd even met them, I'd expect them to behave in a certain way, and be influenced by similar named peers. It was awful of me but I couldn't help it, and sometimes I was proved wrong, but sometimes not.

Sparkles I get how a candidate could attempt to infer discrimination e.g. Jane is obviously female and they don't want to employ women, Derek is obviously over 50 and they don't want to employ an older person, Dipak is Indian etc. I'm not sure how successful such a contention would be. But that's not what I do. Those are names of people I've hired btw. You don't honestly think I feed back to HR on who isn't being called for interview based on name? It's personal bias, aware of that. There is some substance to it in my experience. Why do you think I'm revealing it anonymously on mumsnet?

Peppa i did a bit of training on it, it's called unconscious biases and unfortunately we are all guilty of it. You are less likely to interview people you have negative associations with - maybe you knew someone by that name you didn't like, or maybe they remind you of someone you know so you look at them more positively and are rooting for them to do well. Also apparently you're more likely to hire someone who reminds you of yourself, who has similar qualities to you. It's all interesting stuff, I try and be as aware of it as I can, but it can be tough!

Personal bias shouldn't come into it! What a horrible idea!!

It's the real world toffee, like it or not. But so easy to avoid the name pitfall.

Hi Op, no obviously I don't think that - but as a recruiter you should be checking your bias and choosing CVs solely by ability and skill - not names, background etc. You owe it to candidates to give them a shot based on what they can do , and not dismiss over their name.

See previous post 2nd sopranos. No I wouldn't.

We met a teenage girl called 'Posie' and husband taught a girl called 'Kissie-Lee' who was super bright and wanted to be a barrister.

Poor things.