Outgrowing names

[Happydoingitjusttheonce]

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

Musicposy - a name is not a protected characteristic under the Equality Act

That's not really the point, though, is it? You're still discriminating against someone for something which they can't help and which has no bearing on how well they do their job.

But do you get that that is wrong and unhelpful and not something to be perpetuated?

(sorry, that was to the op)

I worked with a Freddie, he was mid 20's at the time. His name never felt childish or cutesy he was just Freddie. I suppose if parents were that worried they would give them the full version of the name to grow into Frederick, Theodore, Alfred, Albert etc

I think Theodore is a bloody awful name.

And Alfred!

Do people even think of a poor child having to grow up with these names?!

As the OP said though, cutesy names are going to be shit when they are 20+

One girl I know is called TILLY after a bloody children's tv character. And there are a few more I know named silly names too after film and tv characters.

Also know a couple of people with sons called BEAR. It's ok for Cheryl Cole and Kate Winslet, but not for Shannon and Tyler from Telford.

And people can get all pissy about the 'snobbery' towards names, but the bad news is, that this is what happens in real life. People will judge and do judge. Call your daughter Tilly, Bunnie, or Chantal, instead of Emma, Olivia, or Sarah, and condemn her to a life where she struggles to be taken seriously.

No snobbery there. Just realism.

If you think those are bad, spare a though for some poor celebrity children whose names go way beyond irritatingly cutesie and into the realm of utterly ridiculous.

Tom and Giovanna Fletcher for example. Grew up unburdened by absurd names, and have called their sons Buzz and Buddy. Or Katie Price's daughter, or any number of others. Compared to them, the Alfies and Maisies of the world got off lightly.

The name I had picked for my child had I had a daughter was also ethnic. When I told a young work colleague she said "oh that's so cool, like something Paula Yates would have chosen". Name binned there and then. That colleague is now a mum and has given each of her daughters names that are traditional but with cute diminutive forms for childhood.

Chantal is a French name. Nothing weird or cutesy about it.

I disagree. Yes, on first meeting you might feel their name doesn't go with their age/surroundings/professional ranking but after a while a person just becomes their name.

I've worked with a 60 year old Molly

A senior manager called Blue (female)

A director called Sonny

They all just became people after a week or two.

Such a shame race, age and even accent cannot be changed though, isn't it?

FFS.

If Chantal is a French name, why do British born people call their daughters this?

If you have no French roots, it's very odd to give your child a French name.

I imagine they will be called 'Alf' a lot of the time and are just going to spend the rest of their lives being mortified on the occasions when officialdom means the cutesy version is dredged up

That reminds me of a man I met called Bob. Suited his name perfectly. Built like the proverbial brick shithouse Turned out his given name was "Bobbie" - somehow the "ie" made it so much worse than "Bobby"

Such a shame race, age and even accent cannot be changed though, isn't it?

No! What a terrible thing to say - you should be ashamed of your attitude.

What I was saying, on the other hand, was that these are things that are part of you. A name is just a word - a label for you, and can be changed, if it turns out that word is labelling you 'immature toddler woman' or 'unintelligent man child'.

Old names are back in, especially cute names. I work with the elderly and care for a lot of Alfred's, Millie's and Tilly's! They've survived 80+ years with their names, I'm sure the next generation of them will be fine 😂

No dogs I don't. Because my experience has shown it's not always unjustified and the law doesn't prevent me. On the accent point, I've never had dealings with a client who has had an issue with the strong accent of some of my colleagues, but have found the vernacular unprofessional. For instance was instead of were. The instead of there. So I would check for grammar as part of interview process. Could I tell someone they didn't get the job because of poor grammar? I never have done

I've just realised you mean ket wig

I got told that 3 of mine would grow out of their names once they left primary school, they're 15, 17 and 19 now and still get on just fine with their names. The old 2 both work good jobs for their age despite their "cute childish" names, they all are happy and like their names and so far they've had no negative effect on them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Name bias is a real thing - there's a chapter on in Freakonomics discussing the socio-economic impact that names can have. Names matter, whether people like it or not. (I'm not sure Alfie is the best example though OP )

Isn't there a grown up Alfie in Eastenders? (I don't watch it)

It's funny how people suit/don't suit their names. My toddler DS has a long name like Theodore (but not) I was fully planning to call him the cutesy version 'Teddy' as a child but actually it doesn't really suit him and he gets 'Ted' or 'Theodore' equally but hardly ever 'Teddy'

My friend has an Oliver, he's always Oliver too...she also says Ollie just 'isn't him'

There are plenty of names that make me give a start, but IME babies and later people just kind of grow in to their names.
It took me aaaaages to learn that Noemie was not Naomi but learn I did.

Equally, all the Alfies and Freddies will turn into distinguished old men and nobody is going to give it a second thought.

the law doesn't prevent me

You could find yourself on shaky ground there.

Besides, do you really need the law to tell you that sifting applicants out on the basis on their name is wrong (and stupid)?

I just learnt something: ket wig = awful lack of hair cut, allowing money saved on barber/hairdresser being spent on ketamine.

Every day's a school day on MN!

It's prejudice just like binning all CVs from people with foreign sounding names.

I don't think that it is right, but it is a well documented fact that names influence future employers.
There was a recent test where they sent same cv in to companies with different names on the top and got different responses.
Discrimination was there according to name eg 'chavy' sounding names and also wrt race. (obviously 'ethnic' names)

Obviously it is wrong, but when I names my kids I did think about making sure they had a formal name which is recognisable and spelt conventionally.

Having said all that, I think that htis generation of kids have such a huge diverse mix of names that by the time they are going for jobs people will find all names normal. this is already happening in the playground, the idea that someone gets teased for their name is really old fashioned, in that there are so many names with so many spellings in any class that no-one blinks an eye.

Chantal is lovely if you are French, but if not people will make class judgements about you. The super rich and famous can get away with certain names that normal people can't.