to wish that the mother of this child would sit down and do something less noisy and dangerous?

[Iris65]

P is lucky enough to have a performance parent for a mother. They are currently running up and down in the cafe chasing each other, screaming and tickling when caught while she narrates everything at a shout. P also has a dairy sensitivity, gluten sensitivity, peanut allergy, and is vegan. This caused some difficulty when choosing a snack but we are all now fully informed about the hazards and the ethics of choosing a snack in a well known coffee house chain.
P is also gender neutral which we heard all about when a passing elderly women commented on 'her lovely curly hair.' The elderly woman needed a sit down and a cup of tea afterwards while being patted on the arm by sympathetic bystanders.
My heart goes out to whichever poor soul will meet P and Mummy when they go back to school. If they are not homeschooled that is and we can only hope that is the case because there is no doubt they will need one to one attention.
Purple haired parent just glared at me from under her bandana after I glanced up when exploring, running child bumped into my table. Was she 'triggered' by my patriarchal expectations of drinking my coffe undisturbed or was their yin ynaged by my negativity?

I'd be tempted to say: "Do you mind, my family is sat here trying to ignore each other in peace!" and see what she does.

Performance parenting really irritates me.

why did I think of The Viz when I read this??

Paris Lees is a transwoman - born Jonathan

Has anyone mentioned Paris Jackson?

As Olenna says, Paris Lees is biologically male and transitioned when they started Uni.

@Offred No the staff didn't say anything as PP was friends with a guy who works there. Goatee beard, ear tunnels, tattoos - guy not PP. Before anyone leaps in I am sure they probably (see what I did there?) have lots of friends in banking, law and the City who are suited and booted.

Prague? ;)

@PoppyPopcorn I was in a high street coffee shop chain located in a small town in one of the middle shires. Demographic has slightly higher income and home ownership than average in England, but much higher education and social class than the rest of England.
I know this because I checked having discussed it with DP who didn't believe it was that different to large, previously industrial city 40 miles away.

Where do I go to watch this kind of human theatre?

The East End of London, Glastonbury or Hebden Bridge

Excellent post and factually correct

Not saying name or (very small) town as PP may be a MNer or they may be known by one. They were very distinctive in appearance and behaviour, but as other posters have said there a lot of similar PPs.

@killjoy50 The 'disability' I would guess at definately wasn't hidden.

*definitely

Paris Lees is not female.

OP surely you're not going to leave us hanging re: the snack?!

@Iris

Paris?

Hmm... I have purple hair and a dairy intolerant child.... 🙄 bloody wouldn't have my children playing in a shop and definitely wouldn't chase them! Not only is it bloody annoying (my kids know from day one it's behave or leave) but she'll be the one screaming blue murder when the little darling gets a cup of boiling coffee over it - hell it might get milk on it and spoil it's veganism (we all know it's going to be eating jelly, ice cream, and begging for steak at friends houses)

I actually tell mine 'this is not a playground!' Every shop we goin and the try to muck about. Ive even had other kids in the vacinity playing up suddenly behave when ive said it (much to the bemusement of the parent letting them run riot) it's not on. Kids need to learn to sit down and be quiet, the longer you leave it the harder it is.

The kid is vegan - doesn't need to worry about dairy intolerance...

Im purplexed... She makes her child gender neutral (that's a bloody fad!) so 'it' can choose what it wants to be, yet forces it to be vegan which is purely her belief, giving the child no choice.. All a bit hypocritical surely. Im veggie by choice but never brought my children up veggie, that's their choice to make. Plus not eating meat means you lack the enzymes to digest it so you actually get something similar to food poisoning when you get spiked with meat, or choose to eat it (my mum thought i wouldnt notice she was giving me meat! So so ill)

Oooh - both my boys have miles of hair and wear nothing but black, they are gender neutral and l claim my £5!

Sorry. I'll get my coat.

Granola bar (vegan) and a fruit smoothie.

As annoying as the situation appears, when you see the results of the opposite (not interacting with the child at all) I know which I'd rather put up with 😕

I was born in the 60s and I had a train set , cars etc as did my children,all before this gender neutral stuff

I feel strangely defeated at such an ordinary snack.

The Magic Cafe in Oxford is a prime spot for witnessing performance parenting. It also has a brilliant noticeboard advertising all sorts of (mostly very expensive) creative and spiritual things you can do with or without your children. They also do very good (veggie and vegan) food, esp cake.

I'm fairly alternative and occasionally have wacky hair colours but parents who take idealism too far worry me. Mum should be encouraging her little darling to sit down as it;'s a cafe, parks are for noise, cafes are to eat, drink and chat in.

How does this child know they're vegan, that's like saying they'll vote Labour or worship the devil. Unless this child has been tested for sensitivities this mum is setting up a few eating disorders, kids manipulate parents through food without any encouragement, this mum is giving her child a guide on how to get attention through food.

As for gender neutral, I'm quite sympathetic to the idea so long as the parents have some sense. I hate seeing parents telling their little girl they like princesses and boys they like cars but why make a fuss? Why the gender neutral name? Again it's a competition to see how right on you can be. These people make vaguely lefty and alternative types look stupid.