to wish that the mother of this child would sit down and do something less noisy and dangerous?

[Iris65]

P is lucky enough to have a performance parent for a mother. They are currently running up and down in the cafe chasing each other, screaming and tickling when caught while she narrates everything at a shout. P also has a dairy sensitivity, gluten sensitivity, peanut allergy, and is vegan. This caused some difficulty when choosing a snack but we are all now fully informed about the hazards and the ethics of choosing a snack in a well known coffee house chain.
P is also gender neutral which we heard all about when a passing elderly women commented on 'her lovely curly hair.' The elderly woman needed a sit down and a cup of tea afterwards while being patted on the arm by sympathetic bystanders.
My heart goes out to whichever poor soul will meet P and Mummy when they go back to school. If they are not homeschooled that is and we can only hope that is the case because there is no doubt they will need one to one attention.
Purple haired parent just glared at me from under her bandana after I glanced up when exploring, running child bumped into my table. Was she 'triggered' by my patriarchal expectations of drinking my coffe undisturbed or was their yin ynaged by my negativity?

You said the reason it's clumsy is appears clumsy is exactly because it is being used as singular pronoun when it is meant for the plural.

That's not true. The singular form is in common use today (usually when referring to someone whose gender is unknown), so it's not "meant for the plural", nor is it archaic like your example phrase there.

pigsDOfly So what do you do when you don't know someone's gender? I don't know your gender, so if I was referring to you to someone else, I would say "pigsDOfly replied to my post, but I didn't agree with their point."

The only people who don't think "they" as singular is "correct" is someone who uses "he" as a generic.

I would probably use their in that context if I were speaking. Writing on something like mn I'd also write their, but in more formal writing I'd probably write his/her or her/his. Yes, also clumsy, I know, but having had it drummed into all my life it's what I know.

Not saying it's still considered correct or that I'm right, just that to my ear, using plurals for individuals sounds clumsy

You use his/her on writing, her on Mumsnet as the assumption is that the poster is female as most are (unless username is DAD or something) and the most appropriate in real life.

I don't use they at all for a singular person, and haven't actually met someone with such strong views on gender they would ask me to make sure I refer to them outside of their hearing using a plural pronoun.

Actually, you're right Tazerface I'm more likely to use 'her' on mn because I always assume posters are women unless I know otherwise.

You do know what it means, don't you? Its about not colour coding them. Offering them a range of toys to play with. And choices based on their personality and interests, not on their genitals. Not praising behaviour based solely on gender stereotypes "What a pretty little girl. What a good little girl to sit so nice and quietly" "What a big, brave boy you are not to cry."

Now you see, I raised my DCs like that too. But I somehow managed it before the term "gender neutral" (which actually is a label in itself) was invented, so I just had two boys and one girl who chose their own clothes, toys, interests etc.

Yes snap Santa!!

haven't actually met someone with such strong views on gender they would ask me to make sure I refer to them outside of their hearing using a plural pronoun.

That's totally fine (nor have I!) and his/her is a fine alternative BUT my point is that the singular "they" IS in common, every day use, so saying it's grammatically incorrect is both wrong and not a legitimate reason to avoid it.

Also you used the singular "they" in your post, Tazerface, ("...haven't actually met someone with such strong views on gender they would ask me to make sure I refer to them outside of their hearing ") so it's not true to say you don't use it at all!

"they" is often used where "one" would once have been used, isn't it?

Anyway, I yearn for a bit of performance parenting sometimes. I saw a dad picking up his two girls from nursery yesterday: he had brought them a small bottle of Coke each and had two (open) bottles of beer for himself (I'm not in the UK, before anyone mentions SS!).

they" is often used where "one" would once have been used, isn't it?

Yep - although often "one" wouldn't work either, e.g. "I saw the child pick up their bag." The only alternative there would be "his or her".

@peachgreen ok you got me there

That's more of a general though than a specific person. I wouldn't use it in that context.

@Tazerface Haha! I reckon you might well use it for a specific person though, without even thinking about it - it's just that it doesn't come up as often (as most of the time when we're referring to a specific person we know their gender (if not their chosen pronouns)). But when it does come up, your choices are the singular "they", "him / her", or "him" used to represent both genders. In speech, the majority of people would default to "they" as it's perfectly acceptable in the singular when an individual's gender is unknown. But yes, I'd agree that it doesn't come up THAT often (when used in reference to a specific individual).

TormundsGingerBeard

I love words, me

I had blue hair recently but quickly went back to brunette after DD's therapist told her she was creative 'like your mum' and I realised ppl were stereotyping me.... I don't have a creative bone in my body, I am a science and law person....

Hilarious post though, well done. Didn't the staff say anything?

I think the 'gender neutral' stuff is silly TBH. I think kids need to know about sexism, not be denied knowledge about their biology. How do you talk to kids about puberty and sex whilst being gender neutral?!

My twins' classmates (y3) think 'sexism' is a swear word.

Where do I go to watch this kind of human theatre?

The East End of London, Glastonbury or Hebden Bridge.

I've heard the name Paris used for either gender. Please be Podgorica - never heard of the place before this thread!

One of my friends is a performance parent. It is exhausting to be around.

Just know smugly that P will probably grow up wanting to be an accountant who orders rare steak with butter sauce...(nothing wrong with that either) or the girliest unicorn loving pink wearing child you've ever met!

I've just realised my mum is a performance parent!!!

I've just been stuck in the middle of two competing performance parents whilst waiting for our child to finish their activities. What joy!

I love that I now have a name for it.

our children - not child...