Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To feel so hurt

78 replies

Ihatemen00 · 05/09/2017 09:59

Been mainly messaging a guy for nearly a year. Met a few times and had sex once. Long story as to why not met more which I don't want to go into.

We've had a few disagreements but last night he was really nasty.

He has a tendency to blow hot and cold on me. Yesterday I asked him why he did this after I text him previously as he seemed a bit abrupt? Well he really went off on one, saying 'oh ffs and I'll be off with you now". I replied asking if he meant that and he just ignored me.

I then left it a couple of hours then text him again and he said "I'm fucking busy" then had a dig at me because he works and I don't, he wasn't working last night btw, so he couldn't use work as an excuse last night.

I sent him a couple more messages basically asking him why he's being like this and that I thought he liked me but obviously not. He ignored that so then I sent one more text saying I may as well delete your number now as you're ignoring me anyway.

He replied later saying stop being silly. Not heard since.

If he really liked me he would be messaging me first thing to tell me, surley?

I feel really hurt by his nasty outburst.

If he was busy with work then fine, but he was off yesterday and when he told me he was busy, his wattsapp was constantly online!!

OP posts:

Crunchymum · 05/09/2017 10:03

This all sounds like a pointless waste of your time and energy?

Regain some control (and some self respect). Delete his number / block him and do not engage with him again.

SparklyMagpie · 05/09/2017 10:09

I know you're hurt but you need to cool it with your constant messages

KinkyAfro · 05/09/2017 10:14

Dump and move on

PointlessUsername · 05/09/2017 10:16

Fuck him off.

Who has time for these Games?.

Sandsunsea · 05/09/2017 10:17

Ditch him. Delete. Move on. Forget

pallasathena · 05/09/2017 10:20

Try and find something more interesting and productive to do with your time..
Not working, you probably have too much time on your hands to overthink things, obsess perhaps about people.
Its not healthy.
It can damage an already fragile self esteem.

splendidisolation · 05/09/2017 10:22

If you've been in contact for a year but only met a few times then what's the point?!

LaughingElliot · 05/09/2017 10:22

You've sent him five messages after he was first rude to you. Even I'm feeling irritated 😤

You really need to do something else with your time. Nothing good can come of this relationship.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 05/09/2017 10:27

Yup, I agree with PP, don't waste your time and energy with him. Stop texting him and he'll stop his silly power games.

SoftKittySillyKitty · 05/09/2017 10:28

Oh OP, this man-child is a prize wanker.

It's hard when you want answers but he will not give them to you. Please, for your own sanity, bin this waste of space. You deserve so much more

Original poster

Ihatemen00 · 05/09/2017 10:29

Sparkly I don't constantly message him. Sometimes we can go a few days without messaging then some days he'll be texting me all day.

Yesterday he just seemed funny when I text him, almost as if to say how dare you message me!!

I'm not going to text him anymore now. If I hear from him again it will be a quick reply out of courtesy, but that's it now.

OP posts:

MrsJamesAspey · 05/09/2017 10:31

If someone claims to be too busy to talk but then you can see they're online messaging other people then they are liars and not worth your time of day.

Birdsgottafly · 05/09/2017 10:31

He sees you as an occasional fuck buddy and can't be bothered anymore to put the effort in to be nice.

Just end it, you'd get treated better by pick-ups on dating websites, let alone a proper boyfriend.

SparklyMagpie · 05/09/2017 10:38

I was more meaning after he was rude to you the first time an it was clear he didn't want to talk, about you sending lots of messages

I have no idea how much you communicated previously.

But as everyone else has said, dump and move on. It didn't really sound much of a relationship anyway.

Sorry you're hurt, its not worth it

RainbowPastel · 05/09/2017 10:38

You sound very needy. Texting constantly would drive me mad.

Serialweightwatcher · 05/09/2017 10:41

I've wasted years of my life previously in trying to make things work when they are just not going to - you don't need this nonsense - go out and meet someone who speaks to you properly, who you can see more often and who respects you - this type of rubbish is so tiring and a waste of your life

SchadenfreudePersonified · 05/09/2017 10:42

Don't text him.

You are not connected to him e.g. you don't have a child with him, or finances in common to sort out, he is treating you like crap and you are getting upset. Write him off.

And if he gets in touch with you, stuff the "reply out of courtesy" - either ignore him (best) or tell him to eff off.

Life is too short to be made miserable.

SilverBirchTree · 05/09/2017 10:43

What a jerk! Chalk it up to experience and find someone better.

sonjadog · 05/09/2017 10:43

Sometimes I have messaging apps open when I'm working. Occasionally I'm using them but more often I've just not bothered to close them. So if someone is online, it doesn't necessarily mean they are sitting chatting online. He could well have ben working.

FizzyGreenWater · 05/09/2017 10:46

Oh my God!!

HOW can you even take this seriously?! Obviously he is a complete wanker. But, why are you wasting the tiniest bit of your energy on him? What on earth is stopping you seeing his silly childish replies, snorting in amused irritation, then just getting on with your day?

Do you know what I'd do? Text him once more:

FUCK YOU LINDA

and then leave it at that.

Just to go out on a high. And give you a laugh.

Maybe one reply to his inevitable ?!? spluttering answer:

YOU HEARD ME LINDA YOU COW

Hahahahaha!

Bluntness100 · 05/09/2017 10:48

It's not really much of a relationship, if you've only met a few times and had sex once in a whole year . It's mainly messaging. So I'm not sure why all the angst here. Stop messaging him, if he messages you fair enough, but all this do you like me do you not is a bit crazy for something that is really not much more than a text message relationship.

Bluntness100 · 05/09/2017 10:49

FUCK YOU LINDA,,,,YOU HEARD ME LINDA YOU COW

Eh, what?

Original poster

Ihatemen00 · 05/09/2017 10:51

sonja his wattsapp was on and off line constantly so he was on it. Yes I did it bit of wattsapp stalking because he was telling me how fucking busy he was.

OP posts:

thereallochnessmonster · 05/09/2017 10:51

What's the point? It's not a relationship if it's all conducted online, you've only met a few times and had sex once, so what's the point? Bin him. Life's too short for all this angst and drama.

Stop the constant messaging too.

Why don't you work? Maybe that would gve you something else to thikna bout/focus on?

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2017 10:51

This isn't a relationship. You are an occasional fuck buddy as someone else said. He may well be doing the same thing with several other women. Don't bother to respond. Delete his number and move on.

Flip

1 2 3 4