To not want my partner to go China next year on holiday?!

[hattiesmumm]

Dp has just texted me, saying he's been invited to go China next year. His best mate teaches over there and is going back on Wednesday. He's offered to pay for dps flights.

Aibu to think wtf, he won't go abroad on holiday with me and the kids, but wants to go China?! And when the hell do I get a break/holiday?! I have no friends to go away with! I would LOVE to go traveling to china! 😤😤

anotherniceday you are talking unutterable bollocks. Don't project your low standards onto everyone else.

I think this is reaaaaally shit of him. He won't go on holiday with you and the kids abroad but is leaping at the chance of a lads' holiday in China? Something smells fishy about that.

I have a DP who frequently gets opportunities to travel for work - sometimes I can go too, sometimes I stay at home. But he would never go instead of a family holiday, and certainly not for a month leaving me to hold the fort.

Everyone who is saying "i wouldn't let him go" - what do you mean? You'd actually forbid him? Based on what?

I would be seriously reconsidering any relationship in which someone forbade me from doing something. I'd hear them out, as it sounds like he has, but I'd make my own decision.

Butlins sounds good, Op. I hope you get a holiday abroad next year too, I'd be making that a caveat! But I wouldn't stand in his way. I can totally appreciate the jealousy but it's a hell of an opportunity for him to miss.

Me too Anchor the amount of ownership some people seem to feel re their partners is amazing!

Of course, if a couple has children/financial commitments then some discussion is needed for big decisions...but nobody's telling me I can't go somewhere! And I wouldn't ever tell my DH that either!

People can cheat just as easily as they can down the local or at their place of work as they can in China.

I think it's possibly you both want REALLY different holidays. I'd go to China in a second (and have) but AI and a beach? No thanks. Butlins? Double no thanks.

We spend a lot of time and energy as a family looking for holidays that suit all of us. Adventure and majority world for me, no housework for DH, beach/lake/pool for DD. If we take the family with us it's culture for my DB, walking for my DM and cheap booze for my DF.

Maybe plan a holiday where you can all get some of what you want.

There's no point being snobby about AI. When you are on your own with three children, it's by far the easiest option.

I think he will spend a whole lot more than £200 in China.

Bite the bullet and go abroad with the Dc's. It can be done !

I disagree @WomblingThree. I know my SIL agrees with you which is why I don't go on holiday with her! No snobbishness. Just not my bag.

anotherniceday you are talking unutterable bollocks. Don't project your low standards onto everyone else.

Just because someone's pov doesn't gel with yours, doesn't mean it's bollocks.
Dismissing another person's opinions because they don't match your own is bollocks.
The OP has asked for opinions.
I've given mine.
As you were.

It's a difficult situation because essentially, you are o it stopping him because you don't have friends to go away with yourself.

*only stopping him

He should go. It's a great opportunity.

Meanwhile you need to find a family holiday that works for you all.

If the friend is very very well off why is he working as a teacher in China?

Some of these comments!

Yabu op but I'm glad you realised. Enjoy your trip away with the kids and get looking abroad for next year!

Don't go to Burkina with the kids! Go on holiday alone it's amazing traveling on your own

Butlins

I would work as a teacher in China if I were very very well off.
Because that would be fascinating and being well off would mean I could just do fascinating things, instead of sensible career based money generating things.

Let him go to China on the condition you start having family holidays abroad together or you can have a holiday by yourself and he looks after the kids. Use it as a bargaining chip to start living life how you want.

The DCs will probably have a whale of a time at Butlins and you benefit too if you don't fancy going abroad. That sounds like a good compromise, but definitely try for a foreign beach holiday in the future too.

If you shop around it isn't always that much more than the UK because food and activities here are so expensive and abroad eating out is often much cheaper and you can spend a lot of time at the beach/by the pool.

This is such a depressing thread. The ownership and control some people want to have over someone else is staggering.

OP. You and you alone need to step up. You are currently in a very vulnerable position, unmarried, not working and entirely dependent on your DP. By your own admission you have no friends. This is what you need to work on. I suspect this is what's causing the uneasy feelings for you over this trip.