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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Visit newborn or go to wedding?

82 replies

Beepbeepboop · 03/09/2017 19:23

I am starting a new 9-5 job tomorrow so am unable to take any time off this week.

My sister is being induced with her first child on Tuesday and has asked me to visit this coming weekend. However I have already booked flights and a hotel to a wedding 400 miles away. The wedding is for a friend I knew in secondary school and I have had this booked for months.

My sister is quite upset I won't be dropping the wedding to visit her and her baby this weekend.

AIBU to go to the wedding and visit my sister on another weekend?

OP posts:

Jenijena · 03/09/2017 19:24

No you're not, the newborn will still be there the week after. Skype her...

WineAndTiramisu · 03/09/2017 19:25

Definitely not, go to the wedding and visit the baby the following weekend

specialsubject · 03/09/2017 19:25

Same here. Newborns are ultra dull anyway. Another week will make no difference!

MrsGB2225 · 03/09/2017 19:25

Go to the wedding

Glumglowworm · 03/09/2017 19:26

Of course you should go to the wedding, you've spent a lot of money I'm guessing on flights and hotels.

Can you visit your sister after work in the week at all? If not, go the following weekend to her.

Italiangreyhound · 03/09/2017 19:26

Of course you cannot drop the wedding. Go to wedding but visit baby after work on Thursday or another day/weekend.

Sparklingbrook · 03/09/2017 19:26

YY go to the wedding, the baby can wait.

RhubardGin · 03/09/2017 19:26

Your DSis wants you to cancel your flights, hotel and weekend away for a close friends wedding so you can pop over for an hour to see her PFB?

She's being ridiculous, sorry OP.

PurpleDaisies · 03/09/2017 19:26

Definitely go to the wedding.

Tilapia · 03/09/2017 19:26

Go to the wedding

Trills · 03/09/2017 19:27

The wedding of course.

Your sister will, if she is a reasonable person, realise that she was being silly to expect you to cancel.

Oly5 · 03/09/2017 19:27

Of
Course you should go to the wedding as you would be letting a friend down. Tell
Your sis you can't wait to see the baby and will be there next Friday. Maybe send her flowers and a heartfelt card in the meantime?

Mulberry72 · 03/09/2017 19:29

Of course you should go to the wedding. Your DSis is being VU.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 03/09/2017 19:30

Agree visit the baby after work. The baby will have no concept of day or night yet so evening is fine. To be honest three to four days post birth is about the worst time to have visitors as the milk comes in and establishing feeding. If being induced on Tuesday she might not even be home by weekend depending on how long it takes, whether she is induced, if she needs cs.

chowmeinchick · 03/09/2017 19:30

You should definitely go to the wedding.

Visit the baby the weekend after.

BrawneLamia · 03/09/2017 19:30

If she's going in for induction on Tuesday the baby might not even be born by the weekend! I know people who's induction took days before they even got started due to lack of staff available to administer the drugs. Assuming that the baby has been born, she'll probably be in hospital still with limited visiting hours. Go to the wedding then visit your sister the weekend after.

DillyDilly · 03/09/2017 19:31

Definitely the wedding.

coddiwomple · 03/09/2017 19:31

is your sister really expecting you to cancel an entire weekend to spend 5 minutes with a newborn?

Go to the wedding guilt-free!

Is your sister really too far that you cannot visit during the week? (it's entirely possible, just asking). Some wards allow visitors quite late in the evening, so it depends whereabout you all are.

LML83 · 03/09/2017 19:31

Can you visit the baby after work one evening? Or at least offer. Your sister is being unreasonable but probably nervous and hormonal. If you make her feel her and her baby are important to you hopefully she will be placated. Or try and think of some thoughtful gesture to send.

I couldn't wait to see my nephews when they were born visited at earliest opportunity. (But I wouldn't have cancelled a weekend away to a wedding though).

Original poster

Beepbeepboop · 03/09/2017 19:33

I live about 4 hours away from her and don't drive so would have to rely on the train, hence only weekend visits :-(

OP posts:

ChickenBhuna · 03/09/2017 19:33

Go to the wedding.

RandomMess · 03/09/2017 19:34

I think your sister is unrealistic to assume that she'll be 100% up to you visiting anyway!

FuzzyCustard · 03/09/2017 19:35

Wedding.

The newborn won't know (and will look much the same the week after) and your sister will be so besotted/tired she won't mind!

VocalDuck · 03/09/2017 19:36

Your sister might not even want a visit the weekend after she gives birth. Lots of women hate people visiting and just want to be getting to grips with being a first (or subsequent) time parent. Plus if she is being induced on Tuesday, she might well not end up giving birth until the end of the week anyway (especially if she is bumped to Wednesday or labours for a couple of days and ends up with an EMCS).

MimiSunshine · 03/09/2017 19:37

She must be having a pregnancy / emotional about to be induced head and hormones all over the place 'moment' she can't honestly expect you not to go to a friends wedding. One you've already forked out a lot for and which the b&g will be 😒😒😒😒 at being dropped for visiting a newborn even if it is a niece / nephew for max an hour or so when they're likely to be just gone from the hospital

Tell her you'll visit any time before or after you get back

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