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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make an official complaint about colleague?

792 replies

Abouttoblow · 03/09/2017 15:12

I'm really don't want to go to work tomorrow as I've had enough of selfish workmate.
I really love my work. I've been in this job for 10 years, find it fulfilling, great terms and conditions but if things carry on I will go mad.
Colleague had twins 5 years ago and returned to work 2 days a week. Since she had her DC she seems to think that they take priority over her job - even when she is at work. Her DM and SIL take care of them so I would assume they are reliable and trustworthy but she rings them every half hour to check on things. Every half hour WITHOUT FAIL. She will even excuse herself from meetings.
My main issue though is that every appointment she has, doctor, dentist etc she arranges on the days she is at work. We have flexible working to accommodate for this, more so for full time staff who work every day, so we take shorter breaks or start early/finish late to make up the time but she doesn't bother. She just goes off for an hour or so at a time and that's it. This has been going on for years and I've spoken to my boss but nothing is ever addressed with her.
Anyway, her DC start school soon and she came in last week with a list of things she just MUST attend at school - prize givings, parents in-school days, assemblies and I know if they're on either of her 2 working days she will just go.
She won't have holiday leave to cover this as she is off for most of the summer and I'm sure she will want half term etc now too.
I've just had enough and it makes me so angry that she thinks this is acceptable.
AIBU to make an official complaint to Personnel?

OP posts:
MarcelineTheVampire · 04/09/2017 07:15

The thing is OP has made her feelings known to her manager. If they are not doing their job then that's the person to complain about.

Gooseberrytart4 · 04/09/2017 07:20

She should be making up time for assembly's and school functions. Fine to go if it can be accommodated

Termtime working depends on her contract.

Also even without kids you are entitled now to flexible working.

BossyBitch · 04/09/2017 07:24

OP, I get this, it would annoy me to no end! Having said that, as PP have said, you may not be doing yourself any favours by complaining about it.

How friendly are you with your boss? Maybe you could just mention that it upsets you - but frame it as your issue rather than hers IYSWIM.

Also, could something else be going on? In my career as a manager, I've had two employees that pulled similar stunts - or so it might have seemed - and in each case there was a very good reason for me to let it slide: Employee a) was non-sackable. They were a student and their parents were friends with an important board member thanks to business ties. They didn't want to work there any more than I wanted them working for me and hence had absolutely no reason to lift a finger - but they were a net positive anyway as they were basically living, breathing client relationship management for the firm, so we kept them on to please people who made us millions. Employee b) had a serious medical issue. As their direct manager, I was made aware - but for very obvious reasons I was not at liberty to discuss this with the remaining team, some of whom were massively annoyed. They've since passed away, sadly, which made several people realise what had happened and feel quite guilty about their bitching (they shouldn't be, they couldn't have known).

Of course, bosses are only humans, too, as I like to say, and some of us just don't have much of a backbone. Whatever the case is here, complaining won't help much.

butterfly56 · 04/09/2017 07:25

Getting paid for doing absolutely jack shit in the work place just because she can does not in any way make it right.
Of course it impacts on the OP and the co-workers because the woman has no work ethic. She is taking the piss and she knows it!
The most ridiculous part is that the manager actually 'enables' her so that she gets away with it.
If I were the manager I would distribute her work amongst the rest of the staff and make her redundant.

Oblomov17 · 04/09/2017 07:27

You've already spoken to your boss. Who did nothing about it. She deflected etc when boss spoke to her. And boss let her get away with this.
You work for a Company who are not prepared to address this.
So how will making an official complaint, or even speaking to your boss yet again, change anything? Hmm

MarcelineTheVampire · 04/09/2017 07:29

@butterfly56 that's not how redundancy works. However, if what the OP says is true then she should be disciplined but that's the managers job, if they aren't doing it then this is ineffective management and they should also be taken to task.

BakedBeans47 · 04/09/2017 07:30

Actually I think it does impact on the OP. If she has to make time up for appointments and this woman doesn't, I'd say that's an impact on OP.
Also health issues or not it's taking the piss to make routine appointments and stay home for deliveries on non working days when you only work 2 bloody days a week.

elisa2502 · 04/09/2017 07:31

Yanbu at all. This is so unfair

BakedBeans47 · 04/09/2017 07:32

On *working days sorry

Bluntness100 · 04/09/2017 07:35

Wild This is my situation exactly

It's not really, wild is in the same team and picking up the slack, most folks would be annoyed about that. You're on a different team and it has absolutely no impact on you at all. From picking up the slack to booking holiday. It's not the same situation at all.

HiJenny35 · 04/09/2017 07:36

It doesn't impact on you,
she isn't impacting on your workload,
you're not her line manager,
Nothing to do with you,
Keep your nose out!

smurfit · 04/09/2017 07:38

Is there someone who it does directly effect? Maybe they might lodge a complaint.

I get it though although my office is fairly casual by nature. We get paid hourly so if I duck out I either work early, late or don't get paid. Flexibility is great but when it's abused it gets taken away.

Oblomov17 · 04/09/2017 07:50

We all agree it's unfair.
And the woman is a pisstaker.
But, OP's Company don't want to address it. Fact.
So that leaves OP powerless.

LakieLady · 04/09/2017 08:15

Where I work, if you take unpaid parental leave, you complete your flexitime form as though you'd worked the full day but complete a different form to have the pay for the hours not worked deducted from your salary. It would be easy for someone to think a colleague was slacking if they didn't realise that that's how it is done.

It's also entirely possible that something is being done, but it's confidential so none of you know about it. This has happened twice on my team, where someone has been on performance management or capability procedures, everyone's been whingeing about no steps being taken and suddenly one day they're fired, demoted or moved sideways.

It's also possible she has some dirt on her boss and that's why she gets away with it. You would be very unpopular if you made a complaint and that all came out!

Ime, making a complaint or taking out a grievance rarely ends well. At best, it'll make her manager look like a twat for letting it go on so long, and come the next restructuring, they could be your manager, which might make your life a bit difficult.

Spadequeen · 04/09/2017 08:29

I disagree with many of you here. I would make a complaint. It may not have impact on your workload, but it is impacting on how you feel about your work and the organisation. And others must feel the same. I can't believe so many of you are saying that the op is over reacting.

Abouttoblow · 04/09/2017 08:46

Morning everyone.
Thanks for all your input yesterday.
There will be no complaint made or conversation with my boss.
I'm pulling on my big girl pants and heading off to work where I will try my best to suck it up.
Have a great day!

OP posts:
awifeyforlifey · 04/09/2017 08:53

OP, while you are not being unreasonable at all to be annoyed, you've received a lot of good advice detailing why it might be unwise to involve yourself. I've worked in HR, as well as for a high-level executive, and as others have mentioned, there are certainly reasons for sanctioning this kind of behavior. If that's the case, you won't be made privy to them.

You are correct, her behavior seems unfair and bad for morale. You have a right to be upset, but if you're able, try to let go of that right. Apart from anything else, it's better not to let other people have the power to upset you.

When I was a teenager and felt that things were unfair, my dad used to tell me, "You can't live your life according to X (fill in the name)."

You sound like a good and conscientious employee, and therefore, a valuable one. While it's tempting to emulate this woman's "flexible" schedule, another old adage springs to mind: two wrongs don't make a right. Let her be, as someone else said, the canary in the mine. I speak from experience when I say that if layoffs were to happen, your value would carry the day.

awifeyforlifey · 04/09/2017 08:54

Sorry OP, cross-posted! :) Have a great day at work!

FluffyWhiteTowels · 04/09/2017 08:56

OP this would annoy me. It is fraud. Defrauding the taxpayer.

I would wait until she 'hasn't checked out' but isn't on site to request urgent response about something. Then follow up with email to manager and other team members saying you need to find her but can't does anyone know where she is as flexi clock showing she's onsite.

And keep doing it.

Jedimum1 · 04/09/2017 09:19

Very good advice awifey

OP, when I said "jealous" I didn't mean it in the sense that you'd like to do what she does, I meant it in the sense that she's getting some special treatment for no obvious reason, whilst you probably work twice as hard and you are getting nothing out of it, in comparison. More to do with the fact she's getting away with things.

As others have said, there might be part of the story you don't know but bosses do. I totally get why you might be resentful, I think we've all experience that to some extent at some point. Especially when you are doing all the work and someone gets credit or doesn't get told off for not doing as much. I really get it. But having been there, I can see that getting so frustrated only affected my health and wellbeing, I was miserable going to work and this other person still did the same and was not affected at all. When I complained, it was seen as me having some kind of obsession against this other woman and it fired back on me. My complaints were always seen as me trying to get this woman in trouble, instead of me highlighting issues. At the end I was seen as a person who could not work well in teams and had problems finding the positives, so when promotions came I was passed over because I didn't have the right skill for the new management styles. I learnt from it, but I remember the times as very stressful.

My DH had exactly the same twice before in two different places with opposite results, in one he was seen as the moaner and soon singled out, in the other one he was seen as the harbinger of truth and the person took redundancy. But it all comes down to the bosses, HR and the procedures in place. Plus all other things that you might not know. She might have some mental health problem you are not aware of but HR is, maybe anxiety, maybe bipolar disorder, maybe diagnosed OCD, and they are dealing with it in the appropriate way or keeping a record of all this (if not a health issue) to bring a detail log when / if she's fired. Maybe they want to wait until after school, to see if it improves.

In any case, you've reported it, leave it now in their hands. They are aware. If you continue to bring complains, it will only look bad on you. And through the years I have always seen this kind of people been put in place in one way or another, eventually. Sometimes it's when redundancies are being made, sometimes they get new job descriptions that are not compatible with what they were doing, sometimes they think what they get away with is normal and they move company only to be faced with a different truth. But she will eventually be put in place. And your hard work will be eventually rewarded too.
Drop the axe! ;)

Abouttoblow · 04/09/2017 09:28

Thanks for the response Jedi I'm going to leave it alone but it really is demoralizing when you see it constantly happening. I'll just keep reminding myself how much I love my job Smile

OP posts:
Abouttoblow · 04/09/2017 20:22

Marceline Yes I was absolutely being rude. As rude as you are patronising.

OP posts:
MarcelineTheVampire · 05/09/2017 13:50

@Abouttoblow I was merely pointing out a fact - if you work for the public sector then you are wrong, it isn't called personnel, it's HR. In fact, it's quite rude to call it personnel these days as it's insulting to the profession.

Well I hope you're not that rude to your colleagues when they point out a factual inaccuracy.

gamerwidow · 05/09/2017 15:09

Actually in my part of the public sector they are called Workforce Development now rather than HR. We all know what department you're referring to if you call them HR or personnel though..

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 05/09/2017 16:38

Dearie me. I work in the public sector and call it personnel, HR or whatever. Nobody has ever taken offence or blinked at me wondering what I was talking about.

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