To make an official complaint about colleague?

[Abouttoblow]

I'm really don't want to go to work tomorrow as I've had enough of selfish workmate.
I really love my work. I've been in this job for 10 years, find it fulfilling, great terms and conditions but if things carry on I will go mad.
Colleague had twins 5 years ago and returned to work 2 days a week. Since she had her DC she seems to think that they take priority over her job - even when she is at work. Her DM and SIL take care of them so I would assume they are reliable and trustworthy but she rings them every half hour to check on things. Every half hour WITHOUT FAIL. She will even excuse herself from meetings.
My main issue though is that every appointment she has, doctor, dentist etc she arranges on the days she is at work. We have flexible working to accommodate for this, more so for full time staff who work every day, so we take shorter breaks or start early/finish late to make up the time but she doesn't bother. She just goes off for an hour or so at a time and that's it. This has been going on for years and I've spoken to my boss but nothing is ever addressed with her.
Anyway, her DC start school soon and she came in last week with a list of things she just MUST attend at school - prize givings, parents in-school days, assemblies and I know if they're on either of her 2 working days she will just go.
She won't have holiday leave to cover this as she is off for most of the summer and I'm sure she will want half term etc now too.
I've just had enough and it makes me so angry that she thinks this is acceptable.
AIBU to make an official complaint to Personnel?

I've learnt that clocking in/out is a thing. I honestly thought it was a factory thing!

Flexi-time clock. This has to be updated manually when someone 'forgets ' to clock in and out. It is usually done by someone from the administration department and you always had to put missed times on a sheet. A quite chat with someone senior from the department who oversees this would be enough to start them keeping an eye on her activities and then reporting it themselves to personnel.

god don't clock her out, you could end up in trouble for that. annoying as it is, try to detach.

I'd be furious too
Don't clock her out though
I'd say to your boss that clearly a certified amount of time off for things like fetching wedding rings and making calls is acceptable isn't it....so please could you tell me the equivalent time I'm entitled to out of my 40 hours?
It's the unequal treatment that needs tackling.

When I worked for the local authority we had a bloke worked with us like this. Constant Dr appointments, kids needing collecting urgently from school, errands to run, shirking from home. Once he ran out claiming an emergency with one of the kids being rushed to hospital while the boss was out so I passed on the message on (like a good little collegue) and the boss rang his house to check all was ok - she was genuinely concerned. His wife answered and had no idea her child was at the hospital, as far as she knew both the kids were at school and her husband was in the office.
When he came back to work a few days later he claimed harassment and discrimination - he was one of just 3 men on our team of 10 and the boss shouldn't have rung his home. He was such a shit and he knew how to play the system and the boss was weak, unsupported and a bit rubbish so was mainly concerned with covering her back.
My point is that I understand how annoying this is - it drove me up the frickin wall - but if she's been like this for 5 years and it's never been dealt with a complaint is unlikely to get it dealt with but,as others have said could land you in it if you're more convenient scape goat.
I don't think you're unreasonable or jealous I just think until your colleagues line manager changes or something there's unlikely to be any action.
(My colleague got fired within weeks of a new team manager starting - the rest of us had a small celebration)

I am gobsmacked at the number of people who are insinuating that you are in the wrong for being bothered by this. Of course YANBU- it's people like this who give working mums a bad name. Have you said anything to her? As in when she's leaving? Id be furious too as it's absolute piss taking of the highest order. You have made it very clear there are no extenuating circumstances for this. Yes I'd say something. The fact is a manager not dealing with this will have issues with resentment from other members of staff. Why on earth would you not be resentful? You are working your hours and she isn't with no consequences. You are not being unreasonable to be bothered by this as it is unfair. However, if it doesn't change you need to take steps to manage your feelings about it as it will achieve nothing. If you have taken steps and nothing changes then you have to accept that there isn't anything you can do. But yes I would say something. Just be clever about it. Ask if you could clarify if there are changes to the leave policy and what is acceptable to take leave for as there are occasions you haven't taken leave that other colleagues are so you want to be clear where you stand. So don't directly complain about her. Maybe mention other colleagues are querying too. When she does it then I would be tempted to say nicely something like "my goodness are you off again? Can we swap jobs?!" Smile sweetly as if you are joking. But you need to be careful- doing or saying anything explicitly could reflect badly on you so keep it light. Hopefully she'll get the message.

The problem isn't that it affects your work, but that it is bad for morale and may encourage everyone else, or at least some others, to do the same. Perhaps her boss is not aware of this.

I am a team leader, and one of my tam sounds just like you OP. She has raised with me that "other teams" have "privileges" that are "not offered" to our team. When I ask what she means, he invariably makes reference to people leaving "early". Often these are people from teams we have no interaction with, their absence mostly has no direct (and, rarely, any indirect) impact on our team's work. But it bothers her. She has an entitled attitude, she seems to believe that other people's working arrangements are somehow her business, that she (and everybody else in the office) should be told what everybody's working hours are etc. We allow a fair bit of individual flexibility, eg early/late start/finish times, days of different lengths, reduced hours etc. Not to mention that sometimes people may leave early because they have a medical appointment, or have a personal netter to deal with and will make up the hours another day, or are going to a meting off-site, or are travelling (eg flying later that evening, or an early flight the next day).

She (my team member)comes across as a fruitcake and a busybody.

OP, most of us agree that based on the information you have provided, this person appears to be taking the piss, but frankly if it doesn't impact DIRECTLY on your work, in the immortal words of the song, Let It Go. You do not know what's going on in her personal if, or what she's told her manager. And it's highly unlikely that her manager is going to tell YOU whether she's logging this person's times, or her performance. It's not doing you any good to be getting stressed about it, and may actually be doing harm to your own health and well-being.

For your own sake, let it go.

(so many typos!! You can tell the OP's attitude annoys me!)

I don't blame you for feeling pissed off about this. There's one (at least) in every workplace. We have one, but she's quite popular with other staff so I keep very quiet about it. I do happen to know that the boss is fed up about it too, but not sure why she allows it to continue.

However, I also know that those of us who work hard and don't take the piss are recognised for it. I needed a fair bit of time off a few months back when my mum was dying and I was given as much time off as I wanted (much more than I was technically allowed) with no questions asked.

What you need is a fire drill at a time when she isn't there and has 'forgotten' to clock out. They have to do a headcount to make sure everyone is out of the building, and they will be one person short...

I'mNot - "She has an entitled attitude, she seems to believe that other people's working arrangements are somehow her business"

but to some extent, they are. Everyone should be treated fairly and equally. I appreciate that if adjustments are made for an individual due to personal circumstances, they may need to work differently than others. But there are very easy ways to communicate this to staff without giving away the reasons why.

if it is not communicated then people simply get angry, possibly leave and you lose all good staff.

I worked in a place once where someone had conveniently "forgotten" to log a 3 week holiday on the system. Then our boss forgot she had used it, so at the end of the holiday year she said to us "well I've got 3 weeks to take, don't forget, you will need to cover".

And everyone just said "you know what, if you don't remind Team Leader about that 3 weeks, we will just go and ask for our extra 3 weeks".

the thing that really surprised me was how surprised she was by our reaction - how could someone think they could just grab 3 weeks paid leave extra and no one would mind or want the same thing?!

these people have to be called out or what is there to stop them taking the piss?

Op, could she be ill?

Going out to take your husbands wedding ring is highly unlikely. I had a colleague who kept disappearing off, turns out she was seriously ill, which eventually became apparent, and no one would have guessed it till it did, but management were aware all along that she had to leave for certain appointments and take time off and maintained her confidentiality and permitted it.

I'd tread very very carefully here because if it works out there is a reason they are permitting this, and you've been waging some form of vendetta, complaining, clocking her out, you're going to struggle to recover from it in terms of social acceptance or reputation. The fact you didn't know will be irrelevant.

Sometimes things really aren't what they seem and maintaining employee confidentiality is critical.

Also when had tge day iff because his dog died, or 4 months off with "stress", involved a lot of foreign holidays and golfing. (Im sure he was stressed but he took 4 monthe because he could get away with it)

1 day off for a pet dying seems pretty reasonable, I would expect to use annual leave rather than compasionate leave, but it would be the managers discression.

4 months sick for stress related mental illness is not an unreasonable length of time. I say this as someone who has experienced moderate mental illness myself and who has supported DH with serious mental illness and also as someone who has managed staff with mental illness. I had 3 months of sick last year with 'stress related illness' leading up to this I had sought help from management and OH as I knew I was unable to fulfil my role fully, during the time I was off work I was not capable of doing my job and if it hadn't been for my manager supporting a very gradual phased return to work (9 months in and not quite back to full duties yet) I would have been off a lot longer. Holidaying and playing golf are exactly the kind of things he should have been doing whilst off sick with stress, as those are the kind of things which will have helped with his recovery. He has probably been encourged to do these things by his mental health professionals. Exercise and relaxation are both key to recovery from mental illness. I'm so glad that my senior collegues and managers have been incredibly supportive of my recovery, (I felt ghastly enough without being guilted for doing the things I needed to do to recover) despite having to shoulder extra work whilst I've been off.

Slim please read Bluntness100's post. Employee confidentiality trumps someone else's nosiness every time.

The point is, the OP doesn't have the full picture. And nor should she.

In my team, I consider each case on its merits. Team members have needed time out for various personal reasons, medical appointments, and counselling sessions paid for by our company. I support my staff by granting time out, but I don't share details even with the rest of the team. They can, if they choose to, but it's not my place to do so.

Can I make it clear that I'm not defending piss-taking. Just pointing out that things are not always what they seem. I've learned not to jump to conclusions.

It's getting a bit cancel the cheque

of course being ill is a consideration but it is one that OP has covered.

also leaving meetings to make phone calls every 30 mins? for five years?!

I have ongoing health issues that I wouldn't want colleagues to know about but if I need time off there are ways to explain - everyone can just say "personal stuff". The fact that she actually says "I'm taking my husband's wedding ring to his office" implies blatant piss taking from someone who knows she can get away with it. I think I have got OP right when I say this is what is pissing her off.

I'm - cross post.

yes employee confidentiality trumps everything else. So the person in question should say "I need to step out of the meeting" - no need to say - I'm checking on my kids, I'm taking my DH his wedding ring.

She may feel the need to justify what she is doing. That she needs to say something.

I agree that the wedding ring thing seems unlikely/rubbish reason. She obviously thins it a valid reason though or she would have told you something else. I also know that when DH is moderately unwell with his mental health that something seemingly insignificant like this could take on a complete life of it's own to the point that he was unable to think about anything else and if he had not resoved it he would have been unable to work. The wedding ring thing coupled with the regular phonecalls to the point that she will leave meetings so she is not late calling are ringing bells for something like OCD (obviously not diagnosing her with over the internet and have no professional qualifications in mental health) you keep saying she has no mental health problems, but how can you possibly know this.

If there is an underlying mental, health condition, which is stopping her from fulfilling her role at some point it may come down to capability proceedings, but that is something for management, HR and OH to know about and deal with not her collegues.

Pink - that's key. I have depression and anxiety - not declared to my workplace - and if I had to do things like I would expect to face a capability hearing within a few weeks.

I have had friends say to me "why don't you make it known and ask for reasonable adjustments" - would this come under reasonable adjustments? (I'm not planning to disclose that I have this but I'm just curious).

Not the point of the thread I know, however @MarcelineTheVampire I work for a large UK food company with several sites, probably brands you will have heard of, and in this company it is most definitely Personnel, not HR - this is deliberate as their thinking as a fairly traditional, family-owned company is that it is more 'user-friendly'. So your continued insistence that no companies call it Personnel any more is completely wrong

Just read all your points and a good chunk of pp.

I don't get a lot of the replies. If I was you I'd be pissed as hell. Tbh I have colleagues who in different ways take the piss too and it does my head in. It's just selfish and unfair.

But I have made official complaints and our boss who does not do confrontation or problem tackling has chosen to do nowt. She was aware of some of the issues and some were new to her. But nothing changed. Others also complained nothing changed. So now we as a team comment out loud to said person. Makes no difference, she's a lazy mare and as it's never tackled from above she gives not a toss. And the one issue that was talked about at a staff meeting she just chose to ignore and as she personally wasn't given a telling off about it.

Re Your colleague not "remembering" to flexi out and back in I'd have to say loudly each time she was leaving "oh make sure you remember to flexi out, you wouldn't want to defraud the company now would you"

Hi All. Thanks again for all the replies and suggested courses of action.
I will obviously not clock her out - think I just got a bit carried away then.
Boss back on Monday so will ask for Personnel to come and give an overview of flexi policy without mentioning anyone specific - yeah, yeah, it's none of my business etc but hey ho.
Don't want to start the whole debate again but I know there are no underlying issues. She is just a piss taker.