AIBU to be upset by behaviour of 'first date'?

[ConfessionsOfaDivorcee]

NC for this as I'm a) embarrassed, b) possibly overreacting and c) being naive/prudish/old-fashioned and maybe uptight!! I'm no longer 'in my prime' (ok, over 50!) and haven't dated for a very long time, so this has been a bit of an eye-opener for me! I didn't think I was prudish...quite the opposite actually, if I'm honest, and I was looking forward to going out and starting to meet new people again. I was talked into internet dating and arranged to meet someone at the weekend. He seemed nice, we chatted on the phone and got on really well. Had a lovely lunch and as it was a gorgeous sunny day he suggested we continue the date and go for a drive to a nearby country park. Which we did...he drove. We walked by the river, linked arms, all very charming and he kissed me on the cheek. It was sweet, nothing heavy. On the way back he pulled into a lay-by and went straight in for a kiss...very 'gropey' this time and I pulled back, a little taken aback by the suddenness of this. He was very insistent and kept pulling my head...down towards his crotch!! I was just as insistent saying no, but he kept pulling my head quite hard actually, until I pushed him in the chest and told him to take me back...which he did...laughing it off saying that he could wait 'until he had me somewhere more private'. He 'knew I was a go-er'. I was appalled at this! As I said, I didn't think I was prudish but is this how people date now? Is this what's expected?? I absolutely did not give ANY 'go-er' signals at all. The conversation wasn't smutty or sexual in the least. There was a very tiny kiss on the cheek prior to the head pulling and hard gropey kiss in the car. I went straight home and deleted his number and blocked him. Please tell me this is not normal dating in the 21st century!!

Tinder or POF especially. The free sites tend to attract the less savoury men.

I don't think they rock up to the first date expecting sex. Haven't encountered that. Bloody hell I'd die.

What I've found is they charm you and date you just long enough to make you believe they want to date you and then.............. they shag you and then they suddenly realise this isn't what they wanted/doesn't feel right/is moving in the wrong direction.

I never thought I'd say this but if I venture back out there now I'll have to wait minimum 12 weeks and minimum 20 meet ups before even maybe sleeping with somebody.

Older from my experience some don't even bother doing that, they are just so sleezy they are willing to try their luck.

Yeh, I find I can weed those ones out before I've met them. If they say anything remotely smutty or sexist then I don't meet them.

My danger zone is those guys who are capable of intimacy, want it, are looking for a relationship - but who along the way will use you as a girlfriend until they find a real girlfriend I've been caught out like this a couple of times. Every time i think I'm guarded enough some new hazard makes itself clear to me.

So I know it's all about boundaries and expectations. I don't get used for sex. I get used for the place holder girlfriend. The one they get close to, who would be their gf is she was a bit younger/didn't have kids/was a bit sexier who knows. NOT any more though.

Poor you, how horrendous. He assaulted you and I would report it.
Don't be put off dating though, plenty of lovely people around.

((((((((((Mega Madd Hugs))))))) OP.

I am so sorry this happened. It is NOT your doing. He assaulted you.

Awful experience, but yeah it isn't fair or right to blame the OP for 'getting into his car.' I mean, I know women have to 'be careful' and 'vigilant,' but to be frank, it's the attitude of men that needs to change. Women shouldn't have to think 'I can't get in this car with him, because he might assault me!'

I also agree that many men on these websites are after a shag immediately, and I would also be making them wait a very long time. Possibly 6 months or more. If they want it way before that, they can find someone else.

I don't know why men on these websites think all women on there are just after a fuck, but many women are not just after that. The thing that makes me laugh is when they sent a picture of their penis. WTF? Why do they think we want to see this?! Do they think it turns us on? PMSL!!! Newsflash men; NO, it doesn't turn us on, it just makes us gag a bit, and then take the piss out of you, and laugh at you with our mates.