To be fed up of Instamums 2

[Hmmmmx100]

Continued from original post...

jelly I agree with you about body shape/size not being relevant but I completely disagree with you re seeking validation. Social media is pretty much built on validation! Why else would you have "followers" and "likes"

Unfortunately if you put your life in the public eye then of someone calls you " boring" or "self absorbed" then you need to suck it up or take yourself out the public eye. If you want to turn yourself and your family into a brand then you need to grow a thicker skin.

JellybeanJoJo here here. Very valid - lets not get dragged into the bitchiness and people bashing.

The whole BoPo movement is to eff anyone else beauty standards. Who cares peoples motives about why they are posting pictures of themselves - as long as they are happy in their own skin its all good - talking about it here or in any forum is exactly the opposite of supporting everyone in being positive about their bodies regardless of what they look like.

I see now that Mothersmeeting via stories are trying to fuel a debate on whether Instamum is derogatory but confused as to what platform she wants in on so I will post here.

Instamum to me isn't a derogatory term at all. Its a term applied to women to use instagram as a business / source of income with motherhood being a central tenet to their image. No different to a BoPo grammer, Fashion grammer etc etc

There are loads who I follow who are mothers who I wouldn't consider instamums - Erica Davies and Stylememos are two of them. Yep I know they have kids but that's not what their pages are about. Someone like MOD, Clemmie Hooper and many others on referenced on here have parenting at the heart of what they talk about so I would say they fall into the instamum camp.

At the end of the day - Instagram is not just a business page, its for all so the rules of engagement are not always clear in respect of who people follow.

All I think most of the comments here are asking for is a bit more ethical integrity from instagrammers of all types when doing ad/spon and receiving free stuff. Not many of us begrudge anyone trying to turn a dime but when it becomes fake or secretive or disingenuous then its a problem.

Again I take your points about MOD's intentions with the picture, but I feel that the bodypositive hashtag has been hijacked by humblebraggers whose intention is not to show other women what a normal less than perfect body looks like, but to seek validation about how fantastic they look. NOT saying that's what MOD has done, as discussed, nobody can say what her intentions were.

But the vast, vast majority of women do not look like that in a bikini after four children, and for every woman who felt empowered by that picture, there will have been two who felt shit, I guarantee you. MOD is a midwife who works with women and knows what their bodies look like and she must know that the majority of women do not look like that after four kids. Which is why it felt disingenuous to meCue a pile on of mums telling me they have stretch mark free toned abs after numerous kids

I don't think there is nasty discussion on body shapes, we're all complimenting her body. And again, if you're going to post a picture of yourself in a bikini on your IG feed then people are going to have an opinion.

Bowing out now - think I'll go and do some situps!

Really? So you think that anyone who shared their life on social media deserves this? Shes created a brand about her life as a midwife and her family not how to murder people! Every week there are awful stories in the news about teenagers committing suicide for online bullying, there are some comments on here that are exactly that. Bullying. I'm going to report this thread although I fear Mums et are LOVING the attention it's getting

off to follow some drag queens and unfollow a hell of a lot of instagrammers who dont feel a debate about ethics and integrity is valid

ps thanks for actual bodypositive links - will follow!

allaboard

Any bullying has been called out on this thread.

Are we not allowed to disagree? Or voice concerns about sleekit advertising methods. Why are these people exempt from criticism?

It's true in fact that those ladies (and many others) are moving away from the bopo thing because they do feel it has been high jacked. I think they're going for fat activism now. They embrace the word fat, and fat culture. It's interesting stuff.

Are you Instagram too allaboard, pointing out the bullying comments there too?

That's a horrible, horrible attitude....people putting anything or everything on the internet does not mean you can say whatever you like about them!! A lot of the last few pages on here is just out and out bitching and it's unnecessary. The least you all that are doing it could do is own up to it, but don't parade it under the banner of a discussion on advertising!!

Those whispery little conversations behind people's back..."did you see the state of her the other day, that outfit...tragic", "oh my god and hat hair"...you know what that is? That's bitching! That's exactly what this is now, and it's shameful.

All you're doing is making yourselves look bad.

Who is saying look at the state of her, her outfit or her hair?

I've made clear up the thread that any reference to appearance is just not on. However, with an adoring crowd will come people who don't agree with blagging and begging for freebies and punting crap at people when it's not entirely clear. So if I choose to question the ethics of these instamums then I'll do it. But please don't start with the bullying shit. It's lame

In addition, if I choose to voice my opinion on the fact that seeking adoration from people about the mundande aspects of your life is just a bit sad then I'll say it.

It's called an example, you know, an example of what a bitchy comment is. I've already wasted hours of my life reading this shit, I'm not going to waste hours more looking for exact quotes because none of you are worth that.

Not once did I mention anything about bullying. I said people were bitching...but it begins with a b so you get a point for that one.

I also don't remember naming anyone as doing it, there's too many people to do that in all honesty. So if you said any of those things, then yes, you are bitching, if not...good on you.

Honestly, this place is painful!

And yes, I will do the same....I think seeking adoration is a bit sad. But I wouldn't say, I don't like her* she's boring and an attention seeker. Because I don't know her to know if that's true, and it's not a very nice thing to say anyway.

*For the sake of clarity for nitty mcnitpickers out there, in using the royal 'her', as in a female person, not any specific 'her'

If anyone is coming across bitchy jojo then it's you.....

Maybe it's catchy...honestly after 63 pages of it who can blame me. I'm not bitchy, I'm pissed off, irritated, annoyed....there's no need for any of this it's just so silly. These are actual human beings and they don't deserve to have their kids, their houses, their husbands salaries, and whatever else has been picked apart on here under the guise of a valid discussion on advertising, it's disgusting. I genuinely think it's really, really sad that the people on here that are the biggest culprits really can't see that. It's taken a really, really good topic on sneaky ads (which nobody likes) and made it into this!

."did you see the state of her the other day, that outfit...tragic", "oh my god and hat hair"...you know what that is

There have been literally no comments like this.

Do you think it's ok that Susie Verrill referred to us all as a group of vitriolic psychos?

I do agree with you to a certain extent but what I don't think you're seeing is the irony of they do it tell us every aspect of their lives and expect us all to lap it up. I find their openness about their lives, that of their kidsand subsequent sleekit behaviour when advertising beyond the pale. Have the perspicacity to realise that disagreeing with their lifestyle choices re advertising, hawking their kids for all they're worth as well as signing up with any brand who'll pay them isn't bitching.

I've been clear that looks, bodies, children's etc is just off limits but when I feel it's a question of ethics then I'll say my piece.

No I do t think it's ok that she referred to anyone like that, but as I've said previously these are human beings. With actual human emotions and she was probably fuming, humiliated, upset or a combination of those things and reacted as such. We've all done it! Everyone jumped on her for taking her stories down assuming it's because she didn't want people to see that side of her...did nobody think she maybe took them down because it was late, she was tired and angry and thought better of it in the morning. We've all been there too, I'm sure. The point is, none (or most) of us don't know these people. So making nasty comments about their intentions is unkind.

If you really, really think they're so boring and don't like them then don't follow them. Yes, the ad discussion is valid, but shouldn't be confused with personal feelings towards people we don't know.

Maybe they don't care whether we lap it up, maybe they're just putting it out there because they enjoy sharing their lives and if people want to like it then good for them. Honestly, I know non-insta-celeby people who are equally good (or bad?) at over sharing and don't give a hoot what people think...maybe thats how it started and hen people offered them free stuff. I certainly wouldn't say no!

And I do think that a lot of this stuff has crossed over the line from disagreeing with them, to bitching.

I think the point made about MOD in the bikini isn't part of this discussion. What she did was bloody good, she looked fantastic, and it really did spur a lot of follow on posts of women posing in bikinis with wobbly bits. Thanks to her, and Giovanna, this summer, I wore a bikini for the first time in 15 years, because I saw what their photos did, and everyone else posting along side. She should be commended for her healthy attitude, her work ethic in particular, her family life. I cannot see how people can criticise that. Yes FOD was criticized for the selfies with the paramedics, but in the history of the feed that's all I can really see that makes me go eeeek.

The non transparent advertising is a completely different thing. The exposure of their children is. But this thread is not to pick apart a woman's figure or content to that extent.

With actual human emotions and she was probably fuming, humiliated, upset or a combination of those things and reacted as such

Why? No one had said anything negative about her at all at that point.

The whole BoPo movement is to eff anyone else beauty standards

Oh? I've never taken that from it in the least - that's a new perspective on me. If you're high street sized you're pretty privileged (clothes wise) and if you're not, you're kind of marginalised but there's dollar to be spent on looking nice and it's about carving out that bit of fashion space. Not adhering to those bonkers Trinny and Susannah type rules about who can and can't wear horizontal stripes (and on and on and on). A big part of it is, all bodies are bikini bodies. I think it's pretty good for folks/women that are mostly told in various messaging that they shouldn't be seen.

Crazy little cow, maybe because some of the people who had already been picked apart are her friends? maybe because the title of the thread was a big sweeping generalised topic of being fed up of instamums...no mention of advertising there, either. Or maybe because she did take personally some of the generic comments made about instamums in general.