To be fed up of Instamums 2

[Hmmmmx100]

Continued from original post...

On the topic of sharing the mundane side of life, it is odd, but then that's when the unfollow advise is applicable. If you don't like 'their' way of instagramming, don't follow. When I see endless stories of women in their 30's staring at their own reflection in their phone talking about their general day or thoughts I feel a little bit weird. But then I find seeing myself on FaceTime a bit weird! It's different if they are funny or sharing info it's just such a weird thing to do with your time. But if people like it, fair enough. The issue seems to be when you follow someone you like but then the ads and promotions which aren't clear, make it seem like it's something else. Or the ads are not relevant to what they do, or they are trying to get freebies.

Mumsytomy- Therein lies the danger of going down that path. Accepting such extravagencies does obligate them in many ways to be positive about the experience, which just makes them seem totally disgenuine and untrustworthy (and end up with threads being made about them on MN!).

I would love a free holiday! Which is why the posts on ig are so quick to dismiss this discussion as jealousy. We would all love a free holiday. As you say transparency is definitely the key.
Regarding the children. I would not mention the children either, however people will, and also people will talk about them. So will teachers and children and other parents. A lot of this may be positive, but there will be some negativity. It's inevitable. Bullying happens at all levels and in all schools. The fame is going to be hard to control and manage, and therefore the way it effects the children will be hard to control and monitor.

Sharing the mundane bits of life- I like it. Gives me a bit of company when I'm feeling a bit isolated with my DD at home. It doesn't all have to be unrelatable high excitement. If they have a bit of a sense of humour and can chat about the mundane stuff in an entertaining way (SV and MP perfect examples)... that's enough for me.

Exactly, lots of people enjoy it, relate to it. I wasn't being critical in that way. I don't watch beauty bloggers because it doesn't interest me, but a mum sat moaning in the car with a coffee not wanting to wake a sleeping toddler, I can relate to!

There is code of ethics ( in the press ) for protecting the privacy of children of high profile people isn't there? Like when you see their faces blurred out? Am I wrong about this? Could very well be.

As bloggers/bloggers/insta people become more famous/high profile- could that code be applied to their children? It sort of turns it all on its head.

Off to find a cleaning blogger. Never heard of them. I love the mundane** done well. Don't know why. Shoot me.

Interesting discussion about instagram in influencers on 'you and yours' on R4 now

Interesting discussion on this on Radio 4 You and Yours right now. Will probably be on iplayer for anyone interested.

Ooh cross post there chartreuse!

Tealstar - I think you and your 13 yr old are spot on. The big beauty/teen vloggers from what little I've seen are v open and transparent about it all and I think ahead of the game as they've been doing this for longer?

I think this conversation is v interesting as it is evolving and changing from "real" people saying what they'd buy to big branded stuff and when it's not clear to the reader I think that is hard.

It's not just about the brand/collab being a truthful and viable fit but about the clarity.

As for the "mundane" stuff it is a bit fly on the wall/voyeur type stuff but that's what happened to tv years ago so clearly there is an appetite for it.

I try and make sure I only share stuff that's helpful to people. Recipes, how to with food etc with some real life stuff along with it.

Anyway. Horses for courses is right. Let everyone do their thing. I'm pretty sure this debate will have an impact on brands as well as bloggers.

I've seen a few people mention the YouTube/instagram family on here- who kept the gender of their child a secret to all their insta followers, but they had revealed the gender on their personal Facebook account to their actual friends and relatives (but had accidentally set the post to 'public' so all their insta followers saw it and started mentioning it on their page). Now these insta followers are getting blocked by the YouTube family if anyone mentions that the new baby is a boy. Fair enough really that the family in question wanted to announce it to the public in their own way. But blocking followers from instagram , who are just congratulating them, seems a bit much. Seen as it is the YouTube family's mistake that they accidentally revealed the gender. They should just own it and say "oops" not start blocking people.

But from the other side, some of their insta fans are offended that they weren't told the gender. I think the lines get blurred and their insta followers think these people are their mates. And forget they're strangers with mortgages to pay etc

I'm so glad this discussion has happened! I had to put my bit in!

I came over to read the thread after a few insta people referred to it. Tbh, I just fancied a nosy at a bitch-fest but it's not that at all. I actually think it's a really positive and constructive thread.

At one point when I was suffering depression, I'd use insta as bit of an escape - like no pressure socialising. One account in particular, I felt like her posts were communicating directly with my feelings of inadequacy and almost like a confirmation of all the things my depression wanted me to believe - I'll never be as financially well of as them, therefore I'm a complete failure in life and should give up now. Before I realised that her account was getting to me in that way (and so unfollowed) she had posted an ad for some shoes, describing them as a cheap and cheerful treat or something. They were £60-80. That's not aspirational marketing that's "you can't sit with us".

Sadly, we seem to live in a time when a person's worth is determined by their income and that particular shoe related post helped to distill all my negative self talk into pure self loathing. Obviously, I'm not saying that account is responsible for my illness but it certainly didn't aid my recovery. They're the first to condemn the daily heil but don't realise their exclusive club has a very similar effect on people's feelings.

Having said all this I love mother pukka (her mum is ace), her flex mission and warmth are really good, not so keen on her feed but her stories are funny and genuine.
I also really like natasha baillie, she's sincere and funny - ads are for normal things like dog food and wine!
Also, the lady who was bullied off by a certain account's followers (disciples) has another account now and I love her, again sincere and her diy posts are completely ingenious.

Not keen the 'healthy' ones either, basically saying "are you even a real person if you don't buy a kilo of organic almonds everyday to make your own almond milk" - again exclusive and totally unaware of financial privilege.
Don't get me started on the attempted hijack of body positivity - a brilliant movement supporting people with marginalised bodies and/or in recovery from eating disorders completely reduced to "I'm a little chubbier than I used to be, look what a hero I am for wearing a bikini".

It's not the ads I take issue with particularly, it's the exclusivity and lack of awareness while pretending to promote a sense of belonging in the 'sisterhood'. The whole insta mum bubble seems increasingly tone deaf.
Sorry for the long post but this really struck a chord!

What I find weird is some igrammers have posts of thier beautiful children up, looking like child models. But it made me think - if those children WERE models, their earnings would be theirs, I think the law is quite strict about not letting parents take their money. But how is it not exploitative then to use them as models on your own feed, give away their personal data, then you as the parent be rewarded financially for that?! It's so dark!

So according to wearsmymoney we're all a bunch of knobs. Unfollowed. At this rate I'll only have MP left! But that's ok. I don't want to fill up my feed with women who are so gleefully contemptuous of other women.

I only wish there was an Unfollow button on MN for certain posters, like the one who made that pathetic sniggering back-of-the-class comment about Clemmie Telford's kids.

emily

I just find it a bit sad that you feel the need to share the most dull parts of your life and be validated by others.

I'd never looked at any of these Instamums before reading here and was actually surprised at how attractive their offering is. I can totally see why they have so many followers and why brands want to work with them. I though Giovanna's came across as very authentic. There are so many mentions of brands and I was interested in a lot of them. There so much stuff out there it's really easy and appealing to take guidance on where to shop for e.g. a sofa.

I did think that if I was her I'd expect to paid for the holiday promotion on top of receiving the freebee and I bet she was. I wouldn't want my holiday to have to tick certain social media boxes. That makes it work.

what I'm REALLY surprised that hasn't been mentioned in this discussion so far is the craze of buying fame via social media and becoming an instastar/mum that way. So I'll mention it now.

There are a few instagram personalities that have been mentioned in this thread (and the previous one) who, when you look at their follower growth, have distinct spikes that do not sit with their typical growth rate and daily average. Pop onto socialblade.com and look up some of the insta names...

I think we're all being taken for a ride frankly, but none more so than the brands who are buying into the popularity of certain people on instagram. So in response to the OP, no you're not unreasonable at all to be feeling fed up, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of the brands are feeling that way too.

Ugh, this place is vile towards mums, it really is. Yes, yes, it's all lovely and helps you out if you need to LTB, or having difficulties conceiving etc, lots of support, but what about supporting mums in general?
As in not ridiculing them for doing something for themselves?
Everything on here has been ripped to shreds. Rock Choir, full of "middle aged losers who can't even sing and making an embarrassment of themselves" for example.
Now we're back to the blogging bitching. Been a few months since the last one.
Same posters'd no doubt be moaning if mums relied on their DH's wage and didn't take the chance of some extra income.
Can't win whatever you do as a mum. There's always someone to knock you down and tell you you're doing it wrong.

So you're saying people on Instagram who have made themselves and their kids into a brand should be exempt from critique?

They are creating and publicising a product - their families. They are businesses.

simpatica no need to feel sad for me at all! I don't think (but I can't speak for everyone) things like insta stories are about seeking validation. But they are, as others have said, a way of escaping for a few seconds at a time. And if someone wants to escape their life and gawp at mine for a moment, that's fine by me. No one is forced to click and watch them. God that would be a new sort of torture. But clearly, some people do enjoy watching them. Each to their own.

Some of the instragrammers I follow (mainly beauty) do the endorsement thing very simply- they just open their freebie in their video, and say thanks. No gushing endorsement just a feature of it. I suppose it might be a bit more involved than them just receiving stuff tho. Maybe they charge different amounts for different levels of involvement with and endorsement of the product.

what about supporting mums in general?

You do know "mums" are not one homogenous mass right

Alright. So I haven't read the "thread" nor do I wish to. And Im jumping on the band wagon a bit But @mothersmeetings shared a clip in they're stories and I really want to make this point clear of the whole " taking pics of your kids for money".
I wouldn't be where I am today if people didn't take pictures of their kids. Every time some one tags my brand I may gain a new customer. And that goes for all other small businesses. Social media is a very powerful tool hence why big companies now pay people that use Instagram for advertising. (And why not, I would be buzzing if I got some extra mulla for doing something I love) If my child gets sent bits in exchange for posts, there's no charge for a small business as If I can help out i will and I know a lot of people are the same. I hope that I send a few customers they're way, so that they can pay for days out, food, swimming lessons etc. Please don't bash people for doing this, its helped me grow and will hopefully help me continue to grow my little biz and also keep me working at home. It's just mums supporting mums. I hope my child at one point can get some extra dollar for her bank account, she loves having her pic taken and if she no longer wanted to fine I won't force her . And if she does it's pretty much the same thing as if she would of got paid to be in a next catalogue, if you know what I mean. I hope this makes sense to anyone that doesn't quite get this whole weird and wonderful ig world.

Simpatico Loads ( clearly ) enjoy watching them - including me. Also loads enjoy making them. Don't feel sorry for anyone.

That socialblade site is really interesting Emily.

I watch a helmet of a lot if these instagram ladies and I'm in total owe of them all how they show warts and all how they laugh threw life cry threw life show there pure joy there pure dismay there true selves my hat goes of to any woman any Mother any human who can help put there life out there and maybe it changes just one persons day like ellie for example using her heartbreaking story for other families to help others Mother pukka is showing body confidence showing how to jugale life and children how people can pull so much negative from it is don't no there mum boss's yes they make money but who cares doesn't that make them even more amazing not one of us is a perfect person so please don't sit on your horse and judge especially when u don't no anything about then orequest the thruth of there life there 'money ' or there bloody children 5 five mothers and woman being woman for themselves fighting for others and families and children u amaze me every single day and that's why I follow them and laugh with them cry with them if u don't like what they stand fir unfollow them !!! who are any of us to judge a single other human!