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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be fed up of Instamums 2

999 replies

Hmmmmx100 · 02/09/2017 22:33

Continued from original post...

OP posts:
Getout21 · 03/09/2017 12:37

I actually think it's a little short sighted to be drawing attention to this thread on insta & then shutting down conversation. I'm pretty sure a high percentage of insta users have had similar thoughts re child exposure, ads etc re their favourite accounts.

And haven't we all learnt with Brexit & Trump that shutting down conversation is a bad thing.

Waitinforaflamin · 03/09/2017 12:38

MaximaDeWit She is a marketing or PR person by background right? I think she makes a very valid observation as to the vibe on there....

At the end of the day I don't think it is going to dent many of the bigger names but hopefully those who are up and coming will think about their strategy around ads/spons/freebies and take transparency seriously.

MaximaDeWit · 03/09/2017 12:45

underthebridget - that's her point (and ours, if i'm keeping up!), I think. That murky, grey area is where people are becoming suspicious and feeling a little tricked. There are ASA rules but they don't seem to go far enough as a lot of people agree that it's becoming impossible to gauge what's an #ad and what isn't! As an aside, your post(s) on this thread so far have absolutely hit the nail on the head for me!

MaximaDeWit · 03/09/2017 12:46

waitinforaflamin - yes, that's her background. And she says historically she has done work looking at how new tech might influence society so this is clearly something she understands.

underthebridget · 03/09/2017 12:52

Agreed Maxima. It's a shame it's all descended into a slanging match. I'm a fan or have been a fan of most of these instagrammers at one time or another but just felt like I've been bopped over the head repeatedly with product promotions.
And "just unfollow them!" doesn't help as I don't want to unfollow as there's a reason why I was drawn to them in the first place which is they are mostly good fun.

MaximaDeWit · 03/09/2017 13:04

I feel the same, underthebridget. I haven't been comfortable with some of the more spiteful comments on here as I actually felt quite protective of some of the accounts being discussed but Im disappointed at the turn it's taken as someone who is both a follower and a Mumsnetter.

MaximaDeWit · 03/09/2017 13:04

"I have* been uncomfortable" that should say

dollydimplenotsosimple · 03/09/2017 13:07

I think when you open up your life publicly and turn your family into a business/commodity then you open yourself up to criticism.

No one is criticising their parenting (other than perhaps the over exposure of their children) and they're retaliation speaks volumes.

sugaraddict81 · 03/09/2017 13:09

Wow.

There is so much bitchiness and vitriol.

"I like following people I hate so I can laugh about them with my bitchy friends"

"sorry Suzie who"
"can't believe you think her kids are cute"

I have no idea if it's a MN thing but maybe you just all congregate here and feed off each other's bitchiness/insecurity/jealousy/lack of better things to do??

Why do ads even matter? There are adverts on TV, in magazines, newspapers, billboards as you walk down the street, sorry to burst your bubble but the world is changing social media is massive so yes there are ads there too now. It's how some people make a living, so what? They're not forcing you to buy anything, you're an adult(!) make your own decisions.

Live and let bloody live.

FuckingLoveCarbs · 03/09/2017 13:09

Honestly the things both Susie and her followers are saying are vile.

"Oh MN lot obviously have nannies as they can sit around posting crap all day"

Bit rich coming from someone who makes a living on social media Confused

FuckingLoveCarbs · 03/09/2017 13:10

I haven't seen anyone say anything negative about anyone's kids! That would be very nasty for sure.

We are allowed to talk about people who irritate us. I have seen Susie do it extensively.

FuckingLoveCarbs · 03/09/2017 13:12

I have no idea if it's a MN thing but maybe you just all congregate here and feed off each other's bitchiness/insecurity/jealousy/lack of better things to do??

You do realise that MN is a massive online community? We have people from all backgrounds here with many different opinions and outlooks.

No we are not simply jealous and bitter. Tell yourself that if it makes you feel better though!

DressedInBinBags · 03/09/2017 13:12

I like lots of the accounts mentioned.
Am I envious? Yes
Does that make me a bitch or a viper? I don't think so as I only wish them the best. It's like any known person. Lots of people would love holidays and goodies and not to have to work and spend more time with DC.
I don't really get why mother pukka kept telling us she gets called awful things, I've been called worse at my day job, and I'm sure her rewards far outstrip mine.

Mumsytomy · 03/09/2017 13:12

Their families are becoming their business and source of income. People will have opinions on the way that is done. People criticise brand beckham, Brooklyn's photo book took a bashing. That's life in the public eye, making money out of the public. I guess the publicity meant sales and the negativity is just par for the course. It's a savage world in media, I'm sure if it was me, I'd go for it and enjoy it while it lasted, but maybe it's time for some to get some management and guidance.

DressedInBinBags · 03/09/2017 13:16

I've seen people (and have been) torn to shreds on here before. That didn't happen at all on this thread or the previous one.

Mumsytomy · 03/09/2017 13:17

I had no idea who susie was, (didn't make that comment copied above, but had never heard of her), I did think the comment about Clemmie Telfords kids was a bit off, this is not about the kids themselves it's about the use of them as a commodity, I don't follow people so I can bitch about them, that's a bit sad.
I've only had time to be on here as have an ill child. It's all a bit sad.
Ads matter and can be discussed, the ads are aimed at the followers.

finks100 · 03/09/2017 13:18

I think it must be tricky territory for some of them e.g. I like Boden, I wear their clothes I post that I do...then I end up with a few thousand followers and Boden (replace with other brands) decide to send me stuff for free because they appreciate that I like it and lots of people see I like it and then they might buy it. It's murky as to what is paid for and what is gifted.
With main stream media e.g. Sports stars you know they are paid to wear the brand but with instagram where is the line?
And how do you accept a recommendation versus a sales pitch.
That isn't just a chaengebfor us to understand but for the blogger to work out for themselves too!

Day3Blues · 03/09/2017 13:18

Wow this thread has moved on. Just catching up after 24 hrs or so as been a little busy with poorly baby in hospital but had a bit of downtime from the worry to catch up on this thread and I have to say it's left a very sour taste in my mouth.

I posted early on in the previous thread (I think as a different name) as I thought it was an interesting discussion to have as a mother and very much an Instagram user AND mumsnetter and enjoying them both as a source of support, enjoyment and encouragement. As many people have stated already if any of these IG or their followers actually read the thread they would see that this is far from mum bashing and all about discussion about the tide turning on iG into a commercialised series of #ads and frustrating staging.

I cannot believe (well actually I can) the level of hatred and venom that has been swung the way of mumsnetters (MANY of whom use both as has been pointed out). There really has been a them and us divide and it really misses the point, and there is nothing 'sisterly' about that at all. It's really put me off IG.

A few people have pointed out 'just don't follow' but as people have said a lot of the IG we have discussed we do actually enjoy it's just we've noticed things have changed recently and are not sure we are cool about it. For example I don't follow Pukka even though I follow lots of her IG friends purely for the fact that I didn't really like the whole bright colours, pictures etc but now that I've seen how she's responded to this thread (she clearly 'gets' mumsnet) and I've seen her stories I will give her a follow as I can relate and respect her. Susie on the other hand I will unfollow as I think she has behaved awfully just completely trashing mumsnetters and discounting valid points that people have made. She's also really annoyed me with her comment in her latest picture about earning money from ads so that she doesn't need to 'ask for her boyfriends bank card to buy bread'. I don't think this is sisterly at all. For a start, I highly doubt she has to ask for his bank card, I'm sure it will just come out of their joint account. But also who cares if her partner earns the money - they are a family and she is doing a valid 'job' raising children. My husband quite literally earns the bread but I don't need to feel like I need to get money from brands to validate myself. Not every contribution to a household needs to be money, and I'm sure the ad money is more likely to be put towards luxuries than bread which is fine. Anyhoo slightly off topic it just annoyed me.

Final point from me - one of the things that I love about mumsnet is there is a real sense of freedom of speech and you can get a range of opinions and debates which can sometimes be a little cutting but also can be really fucking well thought out and true, and I've learnt a lot from mn and got a huge amount of support. I tend to ignore threads that I know won't enjoy, but that's the great thing about mumsnet there's a little bit for everyone.
The thing that doesn't come naturally to me is all this fawning and gushing which is why IG has annoyed me following this thread, just lots of followers who are gushing and trashing mn. They are literally turning some of their followers onto their other followers for simply stating an opinion. OGITH has also made her stance clear - if you can offer nothing but gushing to make her feel 'safe' and validated than stay but if you have any other opinion then fuck off. Ok, noted.

Getting back to the whole point of this thread, there is someone who I genuinely really like and follow (won't drag her name into this) who hasn't really done many ads and recently posted a lovely pic of her chilling in her gorgeous house with beautiful clothes, dog, makeup etc and I though 'oh how lovely, one day when I'm not covered in sick and sleep deprived having dirty finger prints and crayon on the wall I could have a home like that' but then I noticed the 'ad' for wine at the bottom and my heart sank a little. I know the picture was probably set up a little anyway but I quite enjoy thinking oh how lovely and appreciate the set up but once you know it's an ad you do feel a little misled. That was all my main gripe really, nothing to do with bitching or trashing mum's.

Oh and ps. Why is it ok it have a little rant about your toddler having a tantrum and needing a gin but not ok to have a rant about things that are bothering you about a social media account you use?!

Pps. Sorry for the long post, Im a little frustrated and emotional in hospital and I though I'd let it all out on mn! Blush

FuckingLoveCarbs · 03/09/2017 13:21

one of the things that I love about mumsnet is there is a real sense of freedom of speech and you can get a range of opinions and debates which can sometimes be a little cutting but also can be really fucking well thought out and true, and I've learnt a lot from mn and got a huge amount of support. I tend to ignore threads that I know won't enjoy, but that's the great thing about mumsnet there's a little bit for everyone.

This. 100% this.

That's WHY MN is so great. I don't agree with many, many posters on here, on a daily basis. I think some are raving loons. But I love it here. I want to see a range of thoughts, experiences and opinions - many if not most of which are vastly different than my own.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/09/2017 13:23

I did think the comment about Clemmie Telfords kids was a bit off

Her children are absolutely gorgeous, who said they weren't?

Mumsytomy · 03/09/2017 13:25

@stillstayingclassy
Someone said her kids were really good looking, then someone responded they couldn't believe someone would think that 🤷🏼‍♀️ Unless I speed misread it

FuckingLoveCarbs · 03/09/2017 13:25

I think that was tongue in cheek

DressedInBinBags · 03/09/2017 13:25

The stuff about having a nanny for lots of free time to spend on MN is ridiculous. I work 40+ hours a week. I run a house and have a baby with no bloody help unlike plenty of these instamums. If they can find time update with pictures constantly I can find time to scan through a thread and write a comment.
Sorry.

spiney · 03/09/2017 13:26

Sorry Sugar addict but you missed the point.

It isn't that ads exist ( duh ) or that people make money from them ( good luck to them ) . It's does the viewer even KNOW they are looking at an Ad?

And that's why there is an actual Advertising Standards Authority Sugar.

spiney · 03/09/2017 13:27

The nannies comment was super childish and ridiculous.