I have been posting for a while but namechange every so often.
I'm expecting to get flamed but here goes.
Dp has 2 children. He used to be a lot more financially secure than me and while he would treat me occasionally, from the outset it was made clear to me that finances were separate as he had to ensure his children's security. This meant i had a lot less security than him as all assets were his and would go to his ex in the event of his death so she could raise the children. We could not buy a house together as he preferred to do it alone to keep things simple and i can't afford to buy alone where we live which meant I had less security than him. He had more spending money than me each month. I accepted this.
I have recently surprisingly come into a lot of money. I've brought myself a property and have a good chunk of cash. Dp has suggested that now "we" can afford to send his children to private school and his ex has suggested that we should be paying more as we have more money now.
However I resent the fact that my windfall is now seen as joint. He did nothing to secure my future when I had less than him yet I'm now expected to supplement his children. I think it's unfair to suddenly decide that we are financial partners now it benefits him when he didn't want to support me when I was worse off. I also don't want the responsibility of paying for his children's schooling - what if we split? If dp wants to increase his contribution to his ex its between him and her but I don't see why I should subsidise this in the circumstances.
Is my stance unreasonable?