MIL

[98976528a]

Really not sure whether IAMBU. MIL has asked for a very expensive birthday gift. Apple iphone. Not sure if relevant but parents in law are comfortably off and richer than we are but by no means rich (if that makes sense). We really can't afford to buy one. I have said sorry but already bought gift. I tend to buy things months before key dates if I find bargains, or something I think someone would particularly like. MIL has asked me to return gift I bought to buy what she wants. Needless to say the gift I have bought while something I think she would like is much cheaper. I've said I don't think I can return it. She said ok then give it to someone else... At a pinch could buy bloody thing but feel a bit miffed because will have to cut back on all sorts of other things and break into savings. AIBU

It's interesting that you say there are four other siblings who earn more and, therefore, buy bigger presents, because, on the face of it, mil would be more likely to get an iPhone from one of those siblings. So why hasn't she asked one of them for the iPhone?

God she is rude. I would be shocked even by a 12 year old doing that but a grown woman!!!

Other siblings have paid for house extension and new kitchen in the last year. I think she thinks they've done enough. We didn't contribute which annoyed her. I think she is of the opinion that we have had a year to save. Feel bad for DH but sticking to my guns.

'Had a year to save' made me smile. 'No kids, we aren't going to a cafe, we're taking a pack up, I need to put some money aside for Granny's Christmas present'.
'We shouldn't go to the cinema, we should watch a film at home, we need to put a few quid in Mum's phone fund'. Even if you don't have kids, the same principal applies. Both DH and I come from families where wealth mostly flows down the generations. Parents are pleased we can take care of ourselves, they don't want a cut!
Point out if he upscaled for her, he upscaled for everyone, and you won't afford a holiday! (You mention he might credit card it, so probably don't have that sort of money knocking about 'spare'. )

OMG in holy hell of all things shocking.

Just. Just. Just.

I'm speechless.

WTAF! C'mon you know she's batshit right?!

1. An iPhone is way too expensive to ask for

1. It's super rude to tell you to return an already bought gift.

1. She's unbelievably cheeky and you're a mug of you fall for it!

I'm baffled that there are people like her in this world! Tell her NO CHANCE!

DS2 got an empty iPhone box from a friend and put a chocolate iPhone in there for me. He enjoyed the various expressions on my face - dear boy.

So in other words, she thinks her children´s job is to fund her lifestyle? That´s okay if you both agree on it and you have the finances to support her, but as you don´t, I think you´ll need to have a difficult conversation and make it clear to her that you won´t be.

sign her up for a really expensive contract that she gets a free phone with.....

Did she specify what model?

If backed into a corner, get her a 3

Blimey , in my world £30 is a lot for a present !
Stick yo your guns

Sorry - just read. Your last bday gift from the IL's was a Yankee candle?

Well then....she can just go whistle!

Well that MIL doesn't understand what the dynamic is meant to be between children and parents. In families you help each other out, you don't subsidize their lifestyle choices. Kids paying for house extensions, iPhones. Get the fuck outta here.

Have my first

I spend about £10 (max) on DM - just flowers or some such.

but perhaps that's just me..

She has plenty of money and your DH's siblings have money -they can pay then.

What would she say if you told her you couldnt afford it?

Don't get DH to tell her, he'll cave and your family will have to go without to fund it. Just tell her that you don't have £900 to spend on her birthday present.

MIL wouldn't be getting anything at all from DH and me after showing such rude, greedy, entitled behaviour.

I'd be following her demand to return the original gift alright - and wouldn't be replacing it with anything for her. I'd spend the refund money on my kids or someone in need.

Ah so she thinks u should buy the phone because u didn't chip in for the work on her house

In what world do parents, presumably in good health and comfortably off, accept a gift of a house extension from their children?

I just can't get over that, personally.

YANBU.

I am actually gobsmacked by this! It's a parents responsibility to help out their children financially if they can afford it not vice versa that's crazy! I agree get her a chocolate one and post a photo of her face on here! What a rude entitled cow

I'd tell her to f... off...really?? Who asks for an iPhone as a present??

Screw that! Buy her a £30 gift card for Apple.
Explain that you could not afford the whole thing but you have given her as much as you can afford towards it.
Cheeky bitch can stump up the rest herself!

They bought her house extension

Fuck, no wonder she feels entitled to everyone's money

Stick to your guns, she's a disgrace

You don't tell people what to buy you for your birthday!!!!
You certainly don't tell them to change it or give it to someone else. If anyone said that to me...they wouldn't get a gift at all that birthday or ever again.

I budget £10-15 for adult gifts. iPhone? Hahahahahahaha. Just explain to her that it is way out of your price range, unless she wants your children to go without?