MIL

[98976528a]

Really not sure whether IAMBU. MIL has asked for a very expensive birthday gift. Apple iphone. Not sure if relevant but parents in law are comfortably off and richer than we are but by no means rich (if that makes sense). We really can't afford to buy one. I have said sorry but already bought gift. I tend to buy things months before key dates if I find bargains, or something I think someone would particularly like. MIL has asked me to return gift I bought to buy what she wants. Needless to say the gift I have bought while something I think she would like is much cheaper. I've said I don't think I can return it. She said ok then give it to someone else... At a pinch could buy bloody thing but feel a bit miffed because will have to cut back on all sorts of other things and break into savings. AIBU

Bloody hell, that's a serious pisstake!

Can see you're not impressed with OP's MIL Feathermucker

Cheeky cow

Never would anyone suggest us taking gifts back or asking for them I find it really rude!

i was brought up to receive gracefully, the only person who has turned present giving into something else was Mil, pulling nose up at gifts etc....criticizing gifts my DF gave to DH etc....really odd.

YANBU.

How old is your MIL - I bet it's one of these where the MIL is my age (fifties) and has every bloody idea of how much an Iphone costs.

She is intolerably rude. Why are you buying her birthday presents anyway? Bloody Wifework!

Are you worried that if you tell DP/DH what she said, they will agree and buy it for her? In which case, they are your problem.

I think yes you should indeed return her gift.

And buy her an I ron. . .

or a tea towel?

Did your dh agree to buy her the iphone outright or is it a shared gift between all siblings. I suspect there's more to this.

I am going to give your MIL the benefit of doubt and day she must not realise how much an Iphone costs. If she does know and still asks tell her that there is no way you can afford such a present (even if you could) and that you think it is entirely inappropriate to have been asked. Actually your dh should be saying it. Not you

Even if it's a shared present between all siblings Nuttynoo it's still going a lot of money for each contributor unless MIL gave birth to about 13 children.

@pigs Still it's for the DH to decide, fund, and buy as it's his mum. My guess is OP's DH/DW agreed but OP doesn't or something else as convoluted. Nobody demands an iphone as a present out of the blue.

Buy her a fucking Doro phone with giant buttons and act confused when she said it was the wrong one.

does your MIL understand the costs involved in an Iphone OP ?

Gosh. We got my mum an iPhone for her significant birthday. But it's a 5C, shared between 4 of us. Even then it was my house more than I would usually spend but it was a special birthday so we decided it was worth it. She was thrilled.

Why did you get the task of buying presents for your DHs mother in the first place?.

What has your DH said about his mother's behaviours. It should be down to he and he alone to buy her a present. And not an IPhone either.

And whatkeeponworking wrote earlier in her comment:-

"I'd express absolute shock and incredulity, and say "Absolutely not MIL, are you barmy? Of course we're not getting you a several hundred pound mobile phone - what planet are you on?!""

Nuttynoo Yes, OP's spouse does seem to be very absent in the whole discussion and it's true, if he/she has the money and wants to buy it that's his/her prerogative.

However, from the sound of it the OP tends to be the one who does the present buying for everyone and if that's the case would probably feel entitled to a say in what is bought.

She has no right to demand a particular present, even if it wasn't prohibitively expensive. She sounds like a toddler.

How bizarre. I'd ignore any further requests about it from her. Where's your DH in all this?

I can't even fathom being so rude

I would tell her you'll give her gift to someone else and she can have nothing. Let her suck on that lemon.

I wouldn't give her anything. If she wants a certain phone? Let her purchase one.

Save what you bought her for someone else and stick a tenner in a card with the words 'for your iPhone fund' on it. She's rude and grabby and you wouldn't accept it from a child so why accept it from an adult. I'm so annoyed on your behalf.

Hissy has the perfect response to this kind of pisstake.

"MIL - I got you a gift for your birthday. It is something I thought you might like and get enjoyment out of. You can either accept the gift in the manner it was given, with good grace or not at all. Based on your request for me to return the gift, I think I'll hang on to it for someone else who I know will appreciate it and we'll decide to just go with birthday cards from now on as a memento for our birthdays." (or hissy's suggestion which is more succinct

I'd give her a smack up side the head and tell her to buy one herself. Good god, the cheek of some people.

This is the sort of person I never buy presents for having learnt the hard way.

Actually - get her one of these