MIL

[98976528a]

Really not sure whether IAMBU. MIL has asked for a very expensive birthday gift. Apple iphone. Not sure if relevant but parents in law are comfortably off and richer than we are but by no means rich (if that makes sense). We really can't afford to buy one. I have said sorry but already bought gift. I tend to buy things months before key dates if I find bargains, or something I think someone would particularly like. MIL has asked me to return gift I bought to buy what she wants. Needless to say the gift I have bought while something I think she would like is much cheaper. I've said I don't think I can return it. She said ok then give it to someone else... At a pinch could buy bloody thing but feel a bit miffed because will have to cut back on all sorts of other things and break into savings. AIBU

Say no. Can't afford, which you can't.

Say no and if she asks again, you won't get her anything at all.

If she persists get your husband to intervenep

MIL has asked me to return gift I bought to buy what she wants.

No, MIL. That's not going to happen. If you want to accept my gift, do so graciously, or not at all and we'll stick to no gifts at all for adults.

Fuck off wouldn't be too rude in these circumstances.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, do you think she wants a contribution towards an iPhone? Does she have ore than one child and thinks you are all clubbing together?

If not she is a cheeky bugger.......get her an older secondhand model 😉

I think your biggest mistake was not laughing in her face when she first asked. I often request a Porsche when asked- haven't got one yet funnily enough...

Get your DH to deal with her, she is being VVV U.

Get her an apple voucher for what you can afford and let her get on with it

Since it was her idea to give the other gift to someone else,thats exactly what i would do.

And here on in she wouldnt get getting another thing off me.Another cf wanting something.

Fgs, it's the sort of conversation I've had with my DDs, at 8 and 5. Very childish and entitled IMHO. I'd she always like this?!

Does she know how much they are?

Buy her a bag of apples from Tesco and when she asks what the hell it is, just tell her all you heard was the word apple.

I think i put it in the hands of DH. "Sorry mum we can't afford it, we can give you x towards it"
And give her what you have already bought for Christmas.

she's acting like a spoilt child.

don't discuss it with her anymore. just say mmmm to anything else she says and change the subject.

give her the gift you bought for her originally.

I think that's incredibly cheeky of her. Mine (when we still spoke to her) would get a bottle of wine and some flowers. I think that's an inappropriate gift to ask for from one person who isn't a partner or some other significant relation or isn't a group gift that several people put in for. I did get an iphone for Christmas a couple years ago (the only iphone 5 model, this was after the 6 came out, so it was relatively inexpensive), but from my parents. They asked what I wanted and I said I needed to get a new phone. They often just give us all money for holidays rather than buying us things, but I said if they wanted to put in for that and then I would pay for the rest myself. They wanted to buy the whole thing though, so they did, which was very appreciated (my mum is retired, but my step-dad is quite wealthy, like he makes more in a month than I've made it a year for most of my adult life, it was not a big deal to them financially or else I would have been uncomfortable with them offering to buy the whole thing). But it's quite cheeky to demand someone buy you an iphone and especially to demand a present is returned so you can get her one. That's rude and you're right in saying sorry but we already have something and it can't/won't be returned/exchanged.

Yes I'm also a bit confused why there's no mention of your DH here?

DP sorts his family's presents, I make suggestions or even buy them for him if he's working abroad or something, but ultimately it's his responsibility...

MIL has asked me to return gift I bought to buy what she wants

I felt sad reading that. The best part about receiving a gift is what the gift represents - i.e. that the person giving it to you cares enough to have thought about your interests, your likes and dislikes, what they think would be useful to you and then made the effort and spared the money to go out and get it for you. It's a gesture to show that they know you and that they care. If the gift itself means more to her than all of that, I think she's missing the point and she is ungrateful.

Personally I would much rather not receive a gift at all than dictate to somebody what they may or may not buy for me. I can't imagine the frame of mind I'd need to be in to behave that way.

Does she realise how much they cost?

Maybe being older she doesn't actually realise how much an iPhone costs? If she does then she's a bit of a cheeky cow!

Does she fully realise how much they are, or is she thinking they are cheap because all her friends have one?

Do enlighten her, she'll be mortified when she finds out the cost, I'm sure.

Haha! Does she have form for being rude and ridiculous?

How much do you usually spend on gifts foir each other?

I'd get your dh to deal with this. His mum...

But of course don't buy her an iPhone!

snap x 3

How come when I post no-one's said what I do, but when it appears on screen, I'm an echo

Bloody hell, that's a serious pisstake!

Bloody hell, that's a serious pisstake!

Bloody hell, that's a serious pisstake!