To ask if this aspect of schools has changed?

[moutonfou]

I did very well at school, got top grades in everything. And because that was all the education system was focused around, that was enough. Of course I also had zero confidence and severe social anxiety, but nobody seemed to notice or care because I was getting the grades. So when I got to the workplace, I could never fulfil my supposed potential because, what do you know, skills besides academic intelligence are valued in the workplace! Things like teamwork, influencing, building rapport, managing people, etc., which I have had to learn from scratch.

Not having school-age kids, can anyone tell me if it's changed at all? Is there any effort to produce well-rounded individuals or is it still grades grades grades?

Isn't that a bit blamey? Schools aren't really there to teach you confidence and teamwork, though I'm not sure how you avoid the latter at school. What about your family influence?
School never taught me how to influence or manage people, that's just something you either pick up or don't along the way.

Surely schools are there to ensure kids have the skills/knowledge they need to be functioning/contributing adults in society. Of which academic knowledge is one aspect, but only one aspect. Of course parents play a role too but I don't think that should mean schools have no responsibility for developing things like confidence either.

Surely schools are there to ensure kids have the skills/knowledge they need to be functioning/contributing adults in society

No, that's parents. Schools are there to educate them.

The majority of schools will have a pastoral system in place to pick up on pupils will anxiety and MH issues. My school have mindfulness 'training, pastoral care, peer buddies etc.

I think schools are about way more than just academics, yes. There are so many opportunities to build rapport and learn the value of good communication, empathy, leadership responsibility and so on. Even the most academically selective schools are far more than just "hothouses" in my experience.

I would say schools do a lot towards this these days. Things like a mix of working individually/working in pairs/small groups. Most offer a range of clubs that bring out other skills.

And lots of stuff around safeguarding and pastoral care.

I agree with you OP in that I was extremely unhappy and socially anxious at high school in the 90s but they didn't care because I was bright enough, kept my head down and got on with my work. I think it's different now and there's much more pastoral care.

I think you need to separate out your experience at a specific school with the idea of 'this is what schools are like'

Because I was at school in the 1960s and 70s and it was utterly normal for a school to have plenty of opportunities for teamwork, influencing etc in class or through co-curricular activities.

What is your interest in schools ATM?

Are you about to start an application for your DC?

Completely agree with you OP about the importance of these skills. I can't answer your question but I certainly hope schools are better on this now than they used to be.

Sorry, ignore my last sentence (you state in OP that you do not have school age DC)

I know what you mean. I think there maybe had been some changes but I also think it comes from outside school. So from an early age I've encouraged my kids to try out different extra curricular activities and I think these have far more influence on the development of these type of skills than a school setting.

Ime the school Ds attends has dramatically helped him improve his confidence. He's in year 7 now and is so different to the little boy that started there. The school definitely tries to bring all the children out of themselves from what I've seen.

Depending on how old you are, it's actually got worse of late imo.

In terms of schooling I think in primary there is more of a focus on collaborative work than when I was at school.

It's why some parents choose private isn't it ? In the hope they will come out with the social graces and imate confidence.

For secondaries, it may be more variable but the school we picked did seem to have a good focus on developing these skills. It also has a wide variety of clubs so something to interest everyone.

School can't solve all of society's ills!

Parents need to take some responsibility for their offspring's confidence, mental health etc and get them appropriate support.

yes, in my experience schools have changed a lot. My children are only at primary but there is a huge emphasis on whether they are happy and whether they are managing socially. they do group work and they talk a lot about how to work constructively in groups. A kid who was struggling with that, or struggling to make friends, would attract attention and support would be put in place.

I agree, schools of the past did none of that. I think it comes from a very old fashioned idea that people with top grades will gain authoritative positions from which they can just order people what to do. this isn't, as you know, how management works

Good luck with your own development - you sound like you know just what to do and you're doing it / have done it (me too)

Confidence and self esteem are vitally linked to learning. For a school to get good results it makes sense to work on resilience and build self-esteem.

No. The mental health survey of the UK's youth demonstrates it's worse. The whole focus of schools is academic success. There is a nod to pastoral care but essentially well being comes very far down as a priority. This pressure comes from parents determined to send their children to "outstanding" schools as much as from the government pushing the completely out of touch curriculum.

Proper schools teach all of these things and more. Obviously parents also have their role but that is not an excuse for providing a low quality of education. Unfortunately girls schools are still very academically focused more so that boys schools such put a lot of time and effort into teaching soft skills.

We's quite like a high quality of education actually, and wasting endless time on "mindfulness" and such wankery in schools does not help with that.
You know what gives kids confidence as adults? Qualifications and a decent job, with earning potential. Parents need to stop expecting schools to do their work for them, and let them focus on what they for: education.

I agree with Meditrina about separating out your experience of one school and 'schools' generally.
I don't know your age, but schools have been forced by Government after Government to force pupils through hoops to be able to score enough marks on SATS, more SATS and then on to GCSEs and even A-levels, to stop themselves being considered 'failing', and that successive governments have pushed the 'exam' agenda rather than the 'let everybody fulfil their potential' way of thinking for years and years now.

I also agree how important all the social skills, communication skills, working as a team skills, planning and preparation skills, evaluation skills, getting along with people you don't take to skills, etc etc are. As a parent I don't see that as the schools job though - that is part of my parenting, to encourage my dc to be involved in things outside of school where they begin to learn all those skills.

All that said, some schools work hard on all those things. Others less so. It has no doubt always been the way.

We live abroad and the schools here tend to be very much focused on academics only. There is a strict division between school and home. It is very much seen as the parents' job to take care of most pastoral aspects of a child's education and to help with remedial academics too.

Some British public schools do a lot of things like debating, having one on one teas with your tutor, taking on leadership roles within Houses etc, all of which build confidence and social skills.

I agree OP - my own school experience was very similar. Get the grades - if you're doing well, that's all we really want.

However, now, schools are (or should be) much more focused on encouraging children to question and philosophise. I was never taught to THINK, just to KNOW and that's the difference now.