To ask if this aspect of schools has changed?

[moutonfou]

I did very well at school, got top grades in everything. And because that was all the education system was focused around, that was enough. Of course I also had zero confidence and severe social anxiety, but nobody seemed to notice or care because I was getting the grades. So when I got to the workplace, I could never fulfil my supposed potential because, what do you know, skills besides academic intelligence are valued in the workplace! Things like teamwork, influencing, building rapport, managing people, etc., which I have had to learn from scratch.

Not having school-age kids, can anyone tell me if it's changed at all? Is there any effort to produce well-rounded individuals or is it still grades grades grades?

Yes but Kitty, what happens currently is that issues are flagged up (or not as the case may be) but nothing useful is actually done unless a child is having serious problems, mainly because schools just don't have the resources or dedicated staff or training to actually offer proper support.

The schools which do have decent support for pupils with in between issues are few and far between.

And that second part is what I said I 100% agreed with. It was the not flagging up issues you stated as examples, I was saying did occur (in more schools than you think but yes, not all).

Having just been shopping before Term starts to get supplies for any children who don't have equipment, out of my own money-I find this quite insulting.

You find it insulting that in my DD's secondary school, kids are shouted at if they don't have the right things, after I said to my daughter I hope the teacher would help?

Last academic year, I spent over £400. To have it expected and demanded is just a kick in the teeth.

You prove my point because no one was talking about expecting and demanding stationery, but you chose to say that's what I meant.

I was using what my DD explained as an example of the lack of pastoral care in secondary schools - obviously, there are exceptions, we're all making generalisations based on our own experiences. But you immediately see that as a personal attack - this is what I find in secondary school teaching - maybe its siege mentality?

I've worked at several challenging schools and never come across a teacher who shouted at kids who couldn't afford basic school equipment. Most teachers are pretty sympathetic to students living in that kind of poverty and schools have some funds to help out those who need it.

I think what is insulting is society expecting teachers to pick up the slack when schools dont have resources in place. Why is it any more a teachers responsibility to give up their spare time and spend their own money than anyone else's?

Quite honestly I'd sacrifice some of my knowledge on quadratic equations and terminal moraine for more life skills and confidence building.

In fairness to kittyvon, staplescorner, I think you have missed the point of her post. I took from her post that she finds it insulting that you automatically assumed that teachers would and should help in that situation, rather than place some of the responsibility on the parent to seek a solution to the request for equipment (and kitty was pointing out that plenty already do help but it should NOT be expected as you inferred, as it usually comes out of their own pocket).

You prove my point because no one was talking about expecting and demanding stationery, Ummm. you were a little bit...

I grew up with parents who loved me but thought that 'soft skills' probably meant something to do with making teddy bears. They were good parents but we were a bit different culturally and there were quite a lot of places we didn't really fit into because neither we nor those we met were comfortable. If you do fit in you learn all that teamwork stuff; if you don't you end up learning all the wrong things about people.

I think it may depend partly on the school.
Deffo, the way some MNers talk, academic aspiration & attainment & culture is what they care about in a school. They gush about grammars & super-selectives & how their G&T kids aren't catered for in state system. The bar to get into 6th forms is very high. People should only go to University if they have very high results, there isn't any value in Uni, otherwise. These are common comments on MN. So these posters will have experience of pushy schools b/c that's what they chose for their DC.

Whereas, I've been posting for yrs on MN that success at school is all having a good social life. Don't get much support on that one, though. By definition, only small % of schools can be the high achieving selective ones. Come to the Dark Side & speak to those of us at ordinary local schools with ordinary results & mediocre reputations. I see mixed pastoral care, but school is only 1/3 of DC waking hours. What we do at home to support the kids matters a lot more.

Thanks everyone. I agree with others that schools can't be expected to work miracles in limited contact time, and that some of it has to be down to the parents. But I had parents who both had MH issues and were quite insular, I had no real role models of mental resilience or confidence. School was my only hope really. It's comforting to hear that there are now pastoral efforts which might pick up on those things and efforts to teach concepts such as resilience.

Regarding those who say 'but there's loads of group work at school etc', unfortunately when you throw bullies/teenage hierarchies into the mix too, the main skill you're developing in those situations is how to keep your head down and get through it, which isn't a pre-cursor to great workplace performance. Once I realised adults respect each other, it still took me years to re-programme myself to participate fully, share my ideas even if they might be rejected, etc.