Bit of a long story but I have known my 'best friend' since primary school, we are both early 30s now and we share our friendship group with 4 other girls from primary school, so all our socialising involves seeing each other. I haven't always been in touch with the 4 other girls but always with my friend. We became less close about 4 yrs ago. We live 5mins away but never see each other individually anymore.
She's never been overly supportive. I don't feel like she's ever truly happy for me and would never tell her any good news first. After struggling for years to buy my first home (she already owned hers), the first thing she said was 'how much was it?' She's the type of person who is only happy if you're not doing well or struggling.
Anyway, fast forward and I'm about to give birth to my second child. She got pregnant with her 2nd a month after me but sadly miscarried at 8wks. Our other close friend was pregnant with her 3rd child and I was with my 2nd. It was obviously a very difficult time for her and I understand that completely. However, for the past 9months she has completely ignored my pregnancy. if we go out as a group I will come waddling in and she will just ignore me, she has never asked me how I am or do I know what I'm having, how many weeks etc? Absoluetly nothing in the whole duration. It's been like the elephant in the room. But she will be slyly looking at my bump out of the corner of her eyes. It has been quite unnerving. Each time our group has gone out socialising no one has been able to share my joy and talk about baby because it's obvious by her face that you just can't. She then started dropping out of things if I would be there, didm't come to my baby shower would be very blunt if I texted her, wouldn't like any rare FB posts I put on social media etc. However, she was completely different with our other pregnant friend, asking to see scan pictures, commenting how gorgeous all her bump pics were on fb and always keeping in touch. I felt hurt tbh, this was a friend who I was always happy for and we have known each other for decades.
Fast forward to yesterday. She texted me out of the blue and said 'Sorry I've not mentioned your pregnancy. When are you due? Hope you're well. I just didn't want to talk about your wonderful news or hear all the good things happening to you… but I've got some good news. I'm pregnant now.' She sent the scan and I obviously congratulated her and said how happy I was and I genuinely am. The thing is now she's non stop talking about her pregnancy in the group whatsapp with everyone- something I didn't feel I was allowed to do. The girls used to have to message me in private and she wants us all to meet up for dinner to share her joy. It's just hard hearing everyone talk about it in the group chat as I missed out on that.
On paper I know this sounds like I'm being selfish but I have been so hurt for the past 9months that I just can't 'switch on' and be normal. I've seen her true colours and she's not the type of person that I feel I want in my life. The fact that she was so lovely to our other pregnant friend makes it feel personal. I can't cut her off because she's in the same friendship group but is it wrong to not want to be as close as we were at school?