Reach your kids some fucking consideration! [ranty]

[someonestolemynick]

This has been inspired by the mummy who let her two charming kids scoot around Tesco. But it also goes out to the geniuses who keep their little darlings watch Peppa Pig on the bus or the pub. The parent who doesn't think it necessary to teach their kids that the appropriate response to bumping into another human is to apologise.
I have noticed this more and more: children (being children) act loud, entitled or aggressive and the accompanying adult smiles indulgently rather than correcting behaviour that infringes on others.

Ianbu

someonestolemynick because you have no idea why. My son doesn't have depth perception so he gets easily scared in busy situations. Especially noisy ones. Sitting on my phone watching vsauce is a sure fire way of preventing that. There are a million and one reasons why that child might need a distraction like that but ultimately its always better than having a full blown meltdown especially in a confined space. Don't you think?

We did Carfest South this weekend, sitting in our camping chairs waiting for the music section of the day to start, minding my own business, next thing half a ham sandwich comes flying over my head to land bread at my feet and the most non-naice ham to land on the arm of my chair.

Clearly came from the charming little boys sitting behind us, had to stop myself from declaring "WTAF" instead rather loudly said "How rude is that?!"

No apology from any of them (parents or kids) which shocked me more .... we didn't hear a peep out of them after that.

There is more than an 'off chance' of a child tearing around a supermarket in Heelies causing someone an injury though. It is an accident waiting to happen. I don't want to wait until my disabled child has been injured or an 86 year old has broken her hip before I'm allowed to get annoyed and say something. Parents shouldn't allow it in the first place.

they have as much right to play

Not in a fucking restaurant they haven't.

I honestly don't get the heely objections. If your child in next to you (which they will be in public places) what difference does it make if they skate or walk.
I let my dd wear them most places with smooth floors. She is by my side - never bumped into anyone and it makes going about our business more fun for her.

I do agree with you about the restaurant - there are people wandering around with hot drinks etc and it is dangerous.

I think the problem is I was there. You were not Ann. I think the incident was unfortunate, I did not have a go at the woman she was apologised to, and I did not see any issues ongoing for her and her group as they proceeded. we however had a sobbing child and will probably struggle to get dd on the trike again. Which is a shame as she was really proud of her stability the last time, she got around the whole route and enjoyed the sensation of being in control of the trike and being able to keep up with the rest of the family on bikes. Her little sister has learned to ride a bike without stabilisers this Summer, dd1 will probably never manage that. I am not saying it was a deliberate attempt to distress dd, but I still feel sorry for DD, I am struggling to feel the same level of concern for the inconvenienced lady.

I was nearly knocked down last week in Tesco by a boy on a mountain bike. I was too stunned to say anything but I heard a very loud "OY" about 20 seconds later as the boy swerved round the end of the aisle.

We took scooter to the shops but DS isn't allowed to scooter in the shops. We'd put the scooter to one side whilst in a shoe shop with our stuff over it. I kid you not another child came up and started taking stuff off the scooter and was going to ride it. Parents just stood there smiling at this. I firmly said 'no hun that's not yours' and put it back. She made to try again but I gave her parents my best Paddington bear stare and they eventually stopped grinning, got the hint and took her away.

I had this at a WEDDING. My cousin's. We were quite near the front as family. No idea who was behind me but I snapped after not being able to hear the vows over loud Peppa Pig for 15 minutes. FGS have some consideration !

And I hate heelies. And scooters. The amount of parents at the school letting their little darlings aged four go blindly on ahead far too fast on the pavement. Even the school putting up signs have been ignored :-(

I haven't read all the comments here, but just wanted to say I once had a conversation with a local mum who couldn't believe her 5 year old son had been asked not to scoot in M&S. I couldn't believe I had to explain why it wasn't a good idea!

I suspect some people just have no idea how antisocial they and their children's behaviour can be. YANBU

My son bumps into people because he doesn't really understand personal space. He's autistic and has some sensory processing issues too. I get that it's annoying being bumped into but I do try to make sure I apologise to people he bumps into or pushes past. So, sorry. Some of us are trying

Bobbins43 OP said upthread its NT kids she meant, and for once this thread doesn't seem to have turned into an SN bashing thread. I have 3 kids with autism, so I get it.

YATotallyNBU!

someonestolemynick because you have no idea why. My son doesn't have depth perception so he gets easily scared in busy situations. Especially noisy ones. Sitting on my phone watching vsauce is a sure fire way of preventing that. There are a million and one reasons why that child might need a distraction like that but ultimately its always better than having a full blown meltdown especially in a confined space. Don't you think?

Is there a reason your son can't use headphones? I get why you would let him watch videos, it makes your life easier and his journey more comfortable. BUT you do still have an impact on those around you. Kids TV is annoying. Being forced to listen to it on the bus where there's no escape is even more annoying. I get it, looking after a SN child is hard - especially on public transport but to just dismiss everybody else's right to a peaceful journey is not on. So use headphones or our put the tablet on silent and everybody wins.

I stopped going to a local church because so many parents allowed their kids to behave appallingly during the service. I don't mean making noise or being generally child-like.
I mean scootering up and down the aisle and shouting/singing.

I like family friendly churches but this was ridiculous. Scootering ffs.

My kids are not allowed to scoot indoors and they are warned not to go fast behind people or to make people nervous by scooting towards them. We manage to navigate busy London pavements with these rules.
Our local swimming pool (in a college) had to put a sign up asking parents not to allow their kids to use scooters in the building. WTF do we need a sign? You would think it was a given.

I was on the train last week and a kid was using a tablet with no head phones. My kids aren't allowed to play games with the sound on in public.

Bobbins I get you, my two are autistic too (also possibly ADHD and youngest is being investigated for dyspraxia so extremely bad spatial awareness and clumsiness). It's hard isn't it, as you just feel like they are 'wrong'. :( It was actually a moment I had myself like that which finally led me to get assessed myself (Aspergers although I suspect I am dyspraxic too and have auditory processing issues so often appear to ignore people etc) - just that feeling of not being good enough because people get annoyed with you. So many autistic behaviours make us look rude, and that's hard when we spend so much energy trying our hardest to be polite.

BUT I do think it's different - we can teach our children to apologise as well as apologising for them, we can be 'on it' when possible reminding them to look around them and step aside etc. We can model the right behaviour and yes it does take longer and with more mistakes along the way but it can get a little better. DS has a bit of an obsession with holding doors open for people so that helps him.

It's totally different from being entitled and rude with parents who let them get away without manners, and IME people do mostly notice the difference.

Ds is 9 and I constantly have to remind him to look where he is going. He seems oblivious and if someone rammed into him that would be his own fault. Sometimes no matter how hard you go on children just seem to forget about basics such as looking around. However he does not scoot or have heelies.

You know what I can't stand? Kids being allowed to play loud, screechy chasing games in supermarkets. It happens with a sad regularity these days. Last week I was minding my own business, getting my shopping and I was almost knocked over as 2 boys and a girl of about 8/9 yrs barelled past me at high speed, shouting and shrieking.

They spent the next 15 minutes haring up and down the aisles and I have to admit I was VERY tempted to accidently need to bend down to pick something up, sticking my leg out into the aisle just as they came whizzing past. But tbh I was too worried one of them would get really injured if I did.

In all that time I never identified who the parents were...
It is infiuriating!

Mum who lets her kid watch Peppa Pig on public transport here! hello! 🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼

I'd rather a distant muttering of a cartoon pig, than the screams of a unhappy toddler.

someonestolemynick ok it's clear you do not understand but please try to respect that some children are differently abled and have needs that might not make sense to you. In doing this it benefits everyone and i refuse to torture my son. Also I never mentioned kids TV. Not that it really makes a difference.

athena, I also have a child with significant sensory issues and sen. I, however, refrain from pissing other people off. Not pissing people off doesn't "TORTURE" my son.

Tech needs headphones or on silent. neither of these are TORTURE