To be frustrated by the misunderstanding of the honorific 'Ms' ?

[ChinkChink]

Inspired by another thread.

I've come across many people who believe that 'Ms' is the honorific for a divorced woman, rather than the female equivalent of 'Mr'. People including several employers, managers, supervisors etc, plus friends and family who I'd normally regard as clued up. And many of them women.

I do welcome the introduction of the term 'Mx' as a title to be used when gender is irrelevant [almost always!] but I fear that Mx will go the same way - people will interpret it as a title for someone who is [for example] transgender.

What say you, MN massive?

All the teachers I KNOW are female.

Sorry. I couldn't resist.

female teachers are called Miss as a throwback to when they had to give up their position on marriage.
HTH

All the female teachers at a school I worked at were called "Madam" by the pupils.

On the rare times I get it wrong and accidentally use Miss/Mrs and they correct me to "Ms" I immediately think, "Oh, third wave feminist then"

I'd think of it as more second wave.

Wikipedia entry for Ms, I like the American POV

"The default use of Ms., especially for business purposes, is championed by some American sources, including Judith Martin (a.k.a. "Miss Manners"), Concerning business, the Emily Post Institute states that, "Ms. is the default form of address, unless you know positively that a woman wishes to be addressed as Mrs."The American Heritage Book of English Usage states that, "Using Ms. obviates the need for the guesswork involved in figuring out whether to address someone as Mrs. or Miss: you can’t go wrong with Ms. Whether the woman you are addressing is married or unmarried, has changed her name or not, Ms. is always correct."

A CRB Check delayed for this? I'm astounded.

Sash "Interestingly most female surgeons tend to stick to Miss regardless of marital status"

thank you, you've solved something that was puzzling me for ages - why Joan Watson in Elementary is referred to as Miss and not Ms!

I used to work at a call centre for a posh catalogue, one day I took a call from a furious bloke who was incandescent that his wife recieved a catalogue with the Title Ms instead of Mrs. He wanted to know why we were calling her a divorced lesbian No amount of talking to him would make him understand that the Title Ms did not mean she has a divorced lesbian 😂 That was 20yrs ago almost now, time shaven changed much then

I have used Ms since I became an adult.

If ignorant people make mistaken assumptions, let them.

Haha, if Ms DID mean 'divorced' I wouldn't use it, just like I don't use other prefixes which denote marital status.

Many of the Dc's teachers are Ms, and addressed as such. Accurately.

I've used Ms since being a teenager too. I changed my name when I got married (because I preferred his surname!) but kept the ms title.
What baffles me is the way people say it makes them think you are a radical feminist (or indeed a lesbian) as if that's a bad thing to be.

Even now I am married it would make absolutely no sense to me to call myself Mrs unless I were to change my name

Mrs Mysurname just sounds like my mother!

Professionally I'm Ms Firstname Mysurname, but in my personal life where I have added his name as well (not hyphenated, just added it on, like Hillary Rodham Clinton) I don't mind being Mrs Firstname Mysurname Hissurname. Although I'd usually still tick the Ms box, as my marital status still remains no one else's business

We're not Mr and Mrs Hissurname. We're the Hissurname family - but I haven't relinquished my surname altogether, even if I have taken on his surname as well

Speaking of surnames, having just married DH I've taken his surname in all walks of life except teaching at school - I'll still be Ms. OriginalSurname there, just because I've always been that for 20 years already. I've never had a kid actually call me "Miz" it's always "Miss" despite the "Ms." thing.

I'm another married Ms (ignore the user name!) I did change my surname when I got married, but that was more because I didn't want to be associated with my biological Dad than because I had a raging desire for DH's.

Why 30? Is that the age after which you are officially on the shelf if you haven't managed to grab yourself a man?

Can somebody throw me a cushion please? This shelf is getting damn uncomfortable after 20 years .....

Why 30? Is that the age after which you are officially on the shelf if you haven't managed to grab yourself a man?

@stevie69 - I'm sure you figured, but just in case it's not obvious, I was being sarcastic as I don't think marital status is relevant to anyone other than the people directly involved.

@stevie69 - I'm sure you figured, but just in case it's not obvious, I was being sarcastic as I don't think marital status is relevant to anyone other than the people directly involved

Oh yes, no probs at all Was just having a bit of a laugh at myself for my seemingly abject failure to find me a decent bloke. Now ..... Where have all the good men gone? And where are all the Gods?

Thought so

If you use Ms, it's probably because you're a feminist lesbian so you need to find yourself a decent woman instead.

People are as thick as a plank out there. We all have to cope with them every day of the year. Just correct them politely.

I would prefer Mx but use Ms.

When I started work 30 years ago I wrote my first letter as a young lawyer and devised a gender neutral signare "A B Smith", The partner insisted I added Mrs so there was my attempt to be gender neutral down the plug hole...... 30 y ears on we still struggle with this.

Only idiots would think Ms denotes a feminist or divorced woman these days.

I could not care less what version of Mr Mrs Miss Ms Mx people use - me or others.

wrenika
But I loathe being labelled Ms. To me it has connotations of a certain type of female, and I'm not that type of female.
I'm so glad you're not that type of female, as I am that type of female (the type who thinks that all females should be treated equally whether they are married, single or cohabiting with a tribe of guinea pigs) and I wouldn't like to think I was the same type of female as you.
(and please note that my username is a character from a book so I can't change it to MsFezziwig)

I always believed/ was led to believe by society that ms was for divorced women or career women who didn't want people to know they were married.
I have never heard of the lesbian association though.
I suppose people believe what they read/ are told especially if it's something that states it describes, denotes or defines.

Some of the comments on here about what people were led to believe are nasty.
Yes, do put people right if they have been ill informed, no need for nastiness.

To me it has connotations of a certain type of female, and I'm not that type of female.

I think the question is why you're afraid of the connotations. And who are you afraid makes those connotations? Why do you care?

Only idiots would think Ms denotes a feminist or divorced woman these days

There's a few of them at the school I work at.

I just don't like the word, it's uncomfortable in my mouth and I feel faintly ridiculous saying it.

I've a perfectly good first name and people are free to use it. I would be quite happy (if others feel the need to be overtly polite) to be a generic ma'am

But I also think people should be able to choose whichever salutation they want.

Except Mx. That's just daft.