To be frustrated by the misunderstanding of the honorific 'Ms' ?

[ChinkChink]

Inspired by another thread.

I've come across many people who believe that 'Ms' is the honorific for a divorced woman, rather than the female equivalent of 'Mr'. People including several employers, managers, supervisors etc, plus friends and family who I'd normally regard as clued up. And many of them women.

I do welcome the introduction of the term 'Mx' as a title to be used when gender is irrelevant [almost always!] but I fear that Mx will go the same way - people will interpret it as a title for someone who is [for example] transgender.

What say you, MN massive?

Miss if unmarried under 30, Ms if unmarried and over 30. That's how I was told to tell the difference at least.

Bwahahaha. What fresh hell is this?

@Pinkflamingo - I don't get defensive about my use of Ms. However, I do get irritated by people presuming to know better than me what my title is "technically".

I am not Mrs, technically or otherwise. I am married. My title is Ms. It's not that difficult to understand.

Miss if unmarried under 30, Ms if unmarried and over 30. That's how I was told to tell the difference at least

No idea who told you that but they are wrong.

Haven't RTFT but I'm finding it less and less important. I seem to use my first name or first name last name much more. I can't remember the last time I used Ms. which, like others, I've used for 30 years!

Miss if unmarried under 30, Ms if unmarried and over 30. That's how I was told to tell the difference at least.

Why 30? Is that the age after which you are officially on the shelf if you haven't managed to grab yourself a man?

Who will think of our poor Miss Marple?

Ridiculous.

I'm astonished at some of these posts. Never before on MN have I seen such a number of ignorant, backward-thinking women all in one place.

I've used Ms since I was 18 whether I was single or married. I'm not divorced and didn't realise people associated it with that.

I didn't change my name on marriage so it seemed daft to be Mrs Mysurname.

I agree that it doesn't pronounce well though. We could do with a better one really.

I use Ms because I don't like "miss" or "Mrs" because I don't think someone's prefix should change depending on their marital status.

I can't bear Mx it just seems so try hard and unnecessary to me.

I've used Ms since I was 18 - that's 30 years now. I'm married and I'm still Ms. My three daughters have always been Ms, never Miss, since they were little.

Unmarried after 30? How would you know?

(Quite apart from the general WTAF at the lack of accepting Ms as accepting Mr).

Dont care anymore as people, businesses etc always call me Mrs anyway! Its like I cant possibly have owned my own house, pay my own way without a dh.
I also get called by the kids surname too, people just suppose I am married to their dad.

I just correct people and move on. Maybe if we correct people often enough it will sink in.

Ms implies radical feminist/lesbian what a bizzare thing to think!

I'm married but didn't change my name and go by Ms Swancourt - men don't have to declare their marital status every time they fill in a form so why should women??
I genuinely don't give a fuck whether people think I'm married, single or divorced it's none of anyone else's business.

I had a CRB checked delayed, when the college rang up to find out why, it was because they thought I had lied on the form. I had used Ms, but had not given any details of my divorce or ex-husband. I am not divorced.

Now, if there is still no option of Ms on a form (Centreparcs AquaSana Spa, I am looking at you) I alternate between Mr, General and Reverend. I'm not any of these things but nor am I a Miss or a Mrs.

If it's so important to know everyone's marital status, then why don't men change their title. In fact, how about all married people, male or female, go with Mrs?

I used Ms until I could use Dr, and would still use Ms if I wanted to be below the radar. I am happy to be defined by my achievements, but not by my marital status.

Oh, on the surgeon thing...male post-membership surgeons go back to Mr as in inverted snobbery thing, harking back to the professional tensions between physicians and barber-surgeons. But yes, the female surgeons do seem to go with Miss more than either Mrs or Ms...which is odd, because to become a female surgeon probably needs feminist attitudes.

I don't care, I'm happily married and if I wasn't I'd choose miss, mrs or ms.
Surely, you just use the title you prefer.

I'm married and still use Miss maiden name. I suppose it's because I didn't want to think that I'd changed in any way because I'd got married. I get all kinds of name combinations at work

Enormous, I love this! Ialternate between Mr, General and Reverend. I'm not any of these things but nor am I a Miss or a Mrs.

Given these are apparently "courtesy" titles, you'd think they would be entirely optional, but they're not.

If I find myself forced to tick a box to select my "courtesy" title, I often choose to be Mr - as my admittedly futile way of showing how daft it is. This is most effective with real life form filling, rather than on line.

Otherwise, with official documents, I'm still officially Mrs, even though I've been divorced for years.

I think Mx would be a waste of time. Why reinvent a new element to a system which we'd be better off without?

Same applies to all the various new "genders" which are now available. Better to work to get rid of the system of oppression than find new ways of participating in it.

Teachers get called miss whether they are married or not!

I'm 49 and have been Ms since I was about 16.
Gets a variety of reactions, I've had "I didn't know you were divorced" (I'm not, never married) and "why, are you a lesbian?" (no).

Recently split with partner and bought a new house. 'Family' solicitor kept referring to me as Mrs (bizarre) and I've now noticed that the conveyancer has registered the house in my name and Miss.

They're all twats.

I'm generally pretty good with titles and use Ms. if I'm not sure of someone's preference. On the rare times I get it wrong and accidentally use Miss/Mrs and they correct me to "Ms" I immediately think, "Oh, third wave feminist then" - I know it's wrong to think that, but I just get the impression that someone like Julie Bindel would correct people on which title to use!

Teachers get called miss whether they are married or not!

All teachers I know are called Ms.

All teachers I know are called Ms.

@grandOlejukeofYork - including the men? Very progressive😏