Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - childcare

97 replies

CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:27

AIBU to think "having two very young children is a massive amount of hassle; surely a reasonable solution is to hire a full time helper person for each child?"

Wife is an SAHM and believes I am being ridiculous.

OP posts:
babybigapple · 27/08/2017 12:29

You are being very ridiculous. They're small children, not a convention of dictators or warlords.

babybigapple · 27/08/2017 12:29

Oh and it's called contraception Wink

jeaux90 · 27/08/2017 12:30

Up to you as a couple and whether her getting back to work is important.

I have had the same live in nanny since my kid was 3 months old. She is 8 years now.

But then I'm a single mum and to pursue my career and travel for it this was the only way.

Maybe she wants things the way they are or would you be much better off financially if she did go back to work and you pay for care?

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:31

Babybigapple, that is an absurd reply. Nannies would be no use for containing dictators OR warlords.

Also, pretty sure dictators and warlords don't have annual conventions.

OP posts:
babybigapple · 27/08/2017 12:33

Exactly - if that WERE to happen you would need a full time helper per person, it would be carnage. For two small children you just get your shit together and crack on with it.

jeaux90 · 27/08/2017 12:33

Grincity boy

BitchQueen90 · 27/08/2017 12:34

Well it's certainly not an essential thing. How do you think people manage who can't afford full time help?

But if it's something you want as a couple and can afford then it's your prerogative of course.

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:34

Sorry, to clarify, wifey is not going back to work. She can (obvs!), but that is not what I am pushing for.

TBC, the 2 nannies would be in addition to her, but would free her time up for other things.

Not sure if it makes a difference, but should probably add that both kids are boys that could easily have escaped from north of the wall.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 27/08/2017 12:35

One of my other single mum friends had boys like yours. She hired an amazing male nanny.

kimlo · 27/08/2017 12:35

wifey? Hmm

PeaFaceMcgee · 27/08/2017 12:35

How much of a hassle they are and what she wants (or not) to do about it is entirely her choice if she has chosen to be a SAHM.

Do you think she should be unshackled and restored to the pre-child days?

Stuff changes. It won't always be like this.

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:35

@bitchqueen90 - No idea how people manage without help. In Harry Potter they basically locked him under the stairs until he was old enough to go to boarding school. But we don't have stairs.

OP posts:
insancerre · 27/08/2017 12:36

What you need to do is to outsource the care
Send them away and then get them back when they are adults and can support you in your old age

insancerre · 27/08/2017 12:37

City boy
You could move house

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:37

@jeaux90 No male nannies:

  1. Male nannies are creepy
  1. If she is feeling neglected, I'll get her a tennis coach.
OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 27/08/2017 12:37

If your wife is a SAHM and does the majority of childcare then really it's her decision though.

MsPassepartout · 27/08/2017 12:37

What, one nanny per child, in addition to a SAHP?

Seems a little excessive unless the children are unusually (and exceptionally) demanding.

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:38

@insancerre - move to a house with stairs - finally, some practical solutions!

OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 27/08/2017 12:38

X post. Now I know you're not serious Grin

jeaux90 · 27/08/2017 12:39

Not quite as creepy as referring to your OH as wifey Wink

Spinningpenny · 27/08/2017 12:39

2 nannies?!?!? I think one would be able to handle 2 kids. Especially with their mother around too. One each is serious overkill.

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:41

@MsPassepartout - They are massively demanding. One of them woke up at 5.30 today.

He was good though. I gave him the coco-pops box and told him to stay in bed until mummy woke up. Little sod keeps running around and screaming now though.

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 27/08/2017 12:41

So what are you pushing for ito wifey? Grin

Miserylovescompany2 · 27/08/2017 12:42

If your wifey doesn't want a nanny per child? I'll have a couple if they are going spare?

under the stairs is a hassle to soundproof

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:43

@jeaux90 what's wrong with referring to her as "Wifey"?

Next did just fine using that phrase:

OP posts: