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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - childcare

97 replies

CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 12:27

AIBU to think "having two very young children is a massive amount of hassle; surely a reasonable solution is to hire a full time helper person for each child?"

Wife is an SAHM and believes I am being ridiculous.

OP posts:
Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 13:29

@Today 12:53 mailfuckoff

My dh is a sahd during the holidays. Last week each DT had a friend over so 4 excited 8 year olds. My dh is a legend sometimes!"

That's great. Have you tried writing for a living?

OP posts:
UnicornRainbowColours · 27/08/2017 13:40

Lol that ppl haven't realised tis is clearly a piss take!

Bettercallsaul1 · 27/08/2017 13:41

OP Of course it is hard to find three good nannies! It is hard to find one. But surely you're prepared to put a little effort into this? For Wifie?

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 13:49

@Today 13:40 UnicornRainbowColours

"Lol that ppl haven't realised tis is clearly a piss take!"

Pretty much everything I have said is true. Aside from the thing about coco-pops. It was some kind of generic chocolate cereal.

OP posts:
Redsippycup · 27/08/2017 14:03
Grin
AnnMeredithPerkins · 27/08/2017 14:26

UnicornRainbowColours

Lol that ppl haven't realised tis is clearly a piss take!

Why Lol? It's not funny.... it's dull

FineOldCriminals · 27/08/2017 14:30

I'm have a friend who's a nanny to an eighteen month old. There are 2 other nannies and each has an 8 hour shift.

However, with good help being so hard to find, I'd go for boarding school. There's one or two left, I think, that will take them from 3...

ilovesooty · 27/08/2017 14:35

Is this supposed to be funny?

blackteasplease · 27/08/2017 14:40

It does feel like a piss take!

blackteasplease · 27/08/2017 14:41

I would rather it is a piss take than the third possibility (after that and genuine question) that this is an abusive man trying to get us to mock his wife and make her feel worthless.

ShapelyBingoWing · 27/08/2017 14:44

For the sake of being thrifty, I'd hire just one nanny (if you got 2 live ins, they'd have to top and tail in bed or they'd take up too much room) and I'd move somewhere with stairs. Then the children could take turns torturing the nanny while the other has downtime in the understairs cupboard (known as the bogey hole in my family.)

I'd have suggested you downgrade from cocopops too but I see you've already gone generic. Bravo.

Nanny0gg · 27/08/2017 14:45

It was some kind of generic chocolate cereal.

I don't believe for one second that you have anything generic in your household.

Ttbb · 27/08/2017 14:46

If you don't want to take care of your own children why have any in the first place?

ilovesooty · 27/08/2017 15:08

Perhaps it's Jacob Rees Mogg.

DragonsandDungeons · 27/08/2017 15:10

LOL guys this is a wind up

Maryhadalittlelamb12 · 27/08/2017 15:11

@CityBoy1984

You give up work. You'll be a perfect nanny

Maryhadalittlelamb12 · 27/08/2017 15:12

@DragonsandDungeons

Exactly. Twattish posting

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 15:46

@Nanny0gg

All M&S cereal is kind of generic.

OP posts:
Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 15:47

@Ttbb

I was tricked. Wifey told me it was easy, because they sleep most of the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 15:50

@ShapelyBingoWing

That's interesting - you think "live in" is the way to go? I was thinking live out, but are there advantages to the live-in format?

Can't buy a place with stairs. Wifey has an injury, so would struggle to carry the gremlins up and down.

OP posts:
MrsSthe3rd · 27/08/2017 15:58

Loving your sense of humour OP Grin

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 15:59

@blackteasplease

Erm... OK, two points.

  1. Wifey is sitting across from me drinking tea and seems fine.
  1. If you can afford it, I see absolutely nothing wrong with trying to get one's wife to accept more help taking care of kids. I find childcare exhausting (work is much easier), as does she, so why shouldn't I push for her to accept more help at home?

I see far less wrong with my suggestion of getting two nannies, than with the frequent response of "well what is your wife going to do?". That is up to her. If she has enough childcare in place she can spend quality time with her kids when she wants to, and explore other interests when she wants a break.

OP posts:
Bumdishcloths · 27/08/2017 16:08

Typical MN reactions

'ABUUUUUUUUUSE'

'THIS ISN'T FUNNY'

'PATRIARCHY ARGHHHHHHH'

Some people need to grow a sense of humour Hmm

Ps. OP, would you like to find two nannies for me instead if wifey isn't obliging? Grin

Original poster
CityBoy1984 · 27/08/2017 16:12

@Maryhadalittlelamb12

That's ridiculous. The only way I could survive as a nanny is if there were indeed multiple nannies on site, and I was given authority to direct the team of nannies.

Also, then I wouldn't be able to afford to pay myself to be a nanny. It's all very circular.

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 27/08/2017 16:20

Have you consulted with colleagues? Because I'm sure they would have suggested that a second nanny arrive at 5pm to take over from the first. Which means you need 4 if you want nanny back up at all times, plus a fifth for the weekend.

I know that sounds great and all, but actually your wife might need a holiday more than a tennis coach if she is managing a team of 5 round the clock 7 days a week. It hardly leaves time to relax.