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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this mum is a cheeky fucker

257 replies

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 26/08/2017 22:47

My dd (8) stayed at a friends last night. I nipped round there in the day to drop some clothes off as she needed shorts, while I was there my dd asked if 'they' meaning the girl and her two sisters could stop at ours tommorrow (meaning today) I said oh I'm not sure yet it's school Tuesday and we have a lot to get sorted,plus dad is working tommorrow and left it at that.

Today comes I don't hear anything off the mum all day. I went out to walk the dog came home and she had left all 3 girls 6,7 and 9 at my house with all their stuff! Dp was busy in the garden and told the mum I would be home any minute and to wait as he didn't know what was going on, she said oh I'll leave them here with you and fucked off.

I got back to 3 bags of overnight stuff on the hallway and 3 girls that were here for a bloody sleepover wtaf not once had I said they were stopping or confirmed anything with the mum, I got a Facebook message an hour later saying she would pick them up at 2 tommorrow!

Now I wouldn't have minded if it had been one of the girls fair enough I would have said fine, but why the fuck would you drop all your kids off to my house leave them with my dp who you don't know for shit and not even check with me?

I have 7 kids myself including a 2 year old and a 5 month old so now have 10 kids in my house, where is the common sense?
Surely when my dd asked if they could sleep the mum should have said well not all of you as it's a bit much.especially a 6 year old who darent even go to the loo on her own. None of these kids have ever been to my house before either.

They all went to the park earlier and I answered a phonecall off the mum to one of the girls I said I'll get her to ca you back, she said "oh it's alright I'm going out" so basically I'm babysitting 3 kids for her while she fucks off out on the piss.

Yes I should have told her to come pick them up as I had t agreed to a sleepover but I felt bad for them...the mum shouldn't have left them here in the first place though aibu to think she is a cheeky fucking bitch?

OP posts:
JetBoyJetGirl · 27/08/2017 18:31

She needs to stand her ground when the woman tries something on. Sending a foot stamp after the fact is utterly impotent.

I'd be surprised if it stopped her from doing it again.

At the most I'd send "If you do that again I'll be dropping the children back on your doorstep as soon as I return."

Talking about how it caused her problems won't make any difference to someone who'd behave like that. She needs to know what the consequences would be of her doing similar again.

FluffyPineapple · 27/08/2017 18:36

I think it's too late to be sending messages now.

OP you need to
Practice repeating, "No. That's not possible. We have something planned for that date", over and over in readiness for the next time she suggests you have her kids. It will save you from saying, "Oh... Umm...I don't know... Oh may be working...."

Make sure she gets the message loud and clear next time

schoolgaterebel · 27/08/2017 18:53

I would text: 'Was lovely to have the girls sleepover yesterday, in the future I do need a bit more notice, as you can imagine I already have my hands full with my lot and an additional 3 requires a fair bit of planning. See you soon x'

(Also have a firm word with your DD so she doesn't get swept up in the moment and start asking all 3 over to sleepover at once etc. She needs to learn to say 'I need to ask/check with my mum first, we might have plans' etc)

JetBoyJetGirl · 27/08/2017 19:07

I would text: 'Was lovely to have the girls sleepover yesterday, in the future I do need a bit more notice, as you can imagine I already have my hands full with my lot and an additional 3 requires a fair bit of planning. See you soon x'

You'd seriously send that message to someone who'd behaved like the this woman? Confused

BackieJerkhart · 27/08/2017 19:16

Was lovely to have the girls sleepover yesterday, in the future I do need a bit more notice, as you can imagine I already have my hands full with my lot and an additional 3 requires a fair bit of planning. See you soon x'

Shock

Christ, why don't you just leave your front door open for her to drop them off as she pleases!! #mug

thatdearoctopus · 27/08/2017 19:18

Was lovely to have the girls sleepover yesterday

WTF? No, it wasn't! She was up and down the stairs all evening trying to get them to behave.

CockPisssPartridge · 27/08/2017 19:40

schoolgaterebel You should buy the house next door to OP and then CF will have the choice of two mugs to choose from.

gillybeanz · 27/08/2017 19:52

I don't think she was a cf, OP just invited the woman to treat her like a mug.
Hardly cheeky when OP encouraged it by doing jack shit about it, other than moan on here, it seems.

Willow2017 · 27/08/2017 21:22

I would text: 'Was lovely to have the girls sleepover yesterday, in the future I do need a bit more notice, as you can imagine I already have my hands full with my lot and an additional 3 requires a fair bit of planning. See you soon x'

Christ dont send that.

The woman knew exactly what she was doing, dont bloody thank her for doing it!

derivaz · 28/08/2017 17:54

What kind of parent dumps their kids with somebody they don't know, uninvited and makes themselves uncontactable? Doesn't bode well for the poor kids. They are lucky that you were there to have them.
It goes beyond her being a cheeky fucker. This is a safeguarding issiue.

Mmest75 · 28/08/2017 18:07

OMG - everyone seems to be over looking the fact you have 7 children and are sane ... that's impressive in it's self ..... it's totally unreasonable for her to drop off two children when she knows your work load .... I'm sure at some stage you would have returned the favour of the one child sleeping over .....!

jessebuni · 28/08/2017 18:09

Ignoring the cheeky drama debate and the should've could've of OP taking the kids back etc. How could a parent just leave their child at someone's house where they've never been before with no actual plan and no contact to check in? Especially since OP the parent she had met before wasn't even there so she was basically leaving her children with a stranger. My DCs are 5 and 8 and I can't imagine just leaving them with anyone I didn't know well 😳 That's just not safe for a start! What if while OPs DH was mowing the lawn the CFs eldest DD decided to wander off. With his hands full and no prior knowledge of the plans DH might not have remembered how many kids were actually left there. OP would've come home to find an extra 2 children and not known about the missing one until her mother got around to asking. Obviously it's an unlikely scenario but not an impossible one when none of the adults actually make a plan of what is going on.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/08/2017 18:13

My dd definitely wouldn't be going to sleep there again. If the mother is takes so little care of her own children, she won't take much care of any other children.

NataliaOsipova · 28/08/2017 18:30

My dd definitely wouldn't be going to sleep there again. If the mother is takes so little care of her own children, she won't take much care of any other children.

This thought occurred to me too.....!

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/08/2017 18:41

Thanks for repeating my grammatical error - thought process change half way through. Wink Grin

NataliaOsipova · 28/08/2017 18:44

Oh sorry - just copied and pasted! I knew exactly what you meant Grin

Abbylee · 28/08/2017 20:29

I understand your frustration and agree with you OP. I also relate (not the 10 kids bit!) But we had neighbor girls who waited for us by the garden gate bc their parents were selfcentered, lazy and let them wander. The girls were desperately trying to find parents who fed them or had a stable home. Unfortunately, they liked ds but were jealous of dd. I didn't have the heart to send them right home, but managed to have "important FAMILY obligations" in the evening.

Don't hurt the girls' feelings by sending them straight home but return them at dinner time or first thing in the morning.

elevenclips · 28/08/2017 20:37

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OP!
Could you remove yourself from Facebook? Do you really need it?
You could block her mobile from contacting yours as well.

Be very wary - her pisstaking was successful with you so she will do it again. Other people will have knocked her back but you did her bidding. I can see you were in a very difficult position and I don't blame you, I'm just saying she'll be back for more! Don't accept invitations for your dd to her house eithe r

ByseddSosij · 28/08/2017 20:48

Cheeky cow,I only ever seem to get messages off 'friends' when they want their kids to sleepover so they can go out on the piss.

No is now a complete sentence.

She's taking the piss.

SunshineAndSmile · 28/08/2017 20:49

Never fails to amaze me some people have no shame! However I've been in similar situations - one mum at school asked to pick up her DCs as a favour one day and then suddenly it became a regular thing so I was unpaid after school care. Another tried to engineer for her DD to spend the weekend with us under the guise of she had 'family businessto attend to' so she could go out with her new man. These people forget that I have a job and kids of my own to attend to but they are clearly blinded by their own selfish needs.

kali110 · 28/08/2017 21:20

Id put something on her fb page,
'Next time you dump your kids on my doorstep with no warning or prior agreement and then dont pick your phone up ill be ringing the police or social services.'

Willow2017 · 28/08/2017 22:02

Abbylee

You are a bit late with your advice, kids went home yesterday! Smile

cherish123 · 28/08/2017 22:10

She is taking the mick. Take them home and say - it is not convenient. I am surprised an adult would do that.

cafetea · 28/08/2017 22:17

No need to text anything. Be ready for next time. The answer is no to her kids staying at your place - you son't need to give an excuse you just keep on saying the word no and walk away or end the conversation. Be clear that she can't turn up and dump her kids. If your DP says yes to this then he is responsible for the entire sleep over and following day as you will go and stay with a friend.

JanKind · 29/08/2017 05:31

Worraliberty. You are far to bossy. Butt out!