Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To avoid my sister for the rest of the holiday

115 replies

LegoWalker · 26/08/2017 22:20

A bit of background first
I have never really gotten along with my sister. When we were kids she was very competitive and my mum's favourite and she used to use this to make sure that me and my brother were always in trouble for things.

After we married and had DCs we only really saw each other for Christmas and birthdays.
The I left my exh and we started talking a bit more and she took more of an interest in my life. However she can still be competitive especially around the DCs. Anything my DCs do hers did earlier/faster/better. Also My sister home schools and she always feels the need to tell me how much better it is when compared to state schools , so I tend to avoid bringing up stuff my DCs do.

So my sister contacted us and arranged for us all to go on a family holiday this weekend. So me and my 4 DCs (12,8,6 and 1), my sister and her husband and their 2 DCs (14,10) and my brother.
Each family has their own caravan and the plan is to split the days so we spend sometime all together and that the adults all get a break away from the DCs.

So we arrived yesterday morning, and yesterday afternoon/evening I looked after all the DCs and my sister and her husband had some alone time. I took them out and fed them and everything went well.

This afternoon was my turn without the DCs so I dropped my DCs off with my sister and went out. My sister called me earlier saying she wanted me to pick up my DCs now because they weren't behaving.
So I arrived to pick them up and she pretty much threw them at me and DD2 was crying. My sister also looked very angry and stressed. I asked what had happened and my sister said they wouldn't join in and DS1 in particular had been very rude and she was very disappointed in them. I made the DCs apologise and took them back to our caravan.

So I asked DS1 (12) first what happened. He said that my sister wanted them to play a quiz game. She had piles of questions already chosen and she split them into teams her DCs against mine. Then she made DS1 and her 14 year old go against each other but when DS1 started winning she made them stop halfway through the questions.

Then it was her 10 year old against my DDs. DS1 said the questions were really hard and were all in a subject that her 10 year old has a special interest in. It's also a topic that they don't really teach in schools. My DDs lost and this time they finished their pile of questions which meant that overall my sister's DCs team had the most points. My sister then brought out prizes for the winners and nothing for my DCs. Then she said they would play the game again with the same teams.

DD2 (6) asked if they could play something else and my sister said no. DS1 asked if they could mix the team's and my sister said no. DS1 said that this wasn't fair and his team was never going to win. My sister said it was my DDs fault for not trying hard enough which upset them because they had tried their best.
My sister said that really it was my fault then because I sent them to a school which meant their best wasn't good enough. DD2 started crying and then my sister shouted at her for spoiling the day. DS1 said that my sister spoilt the day by rigging the game so her DCs would win. My sister then shouted at him too and then she called me to come and get them. Then she told her DCs to go in the bedroom away from mine so they didn't learn how not to behave.

I then talked to my DDs separately and they have told me pretty much the same story. I text my sister and asked her what happened and she replied that they wouldn't play nicely and were bad losers and I needed to have a serious think about their behaviour because her DCs never act like that because they don't pick up bad habits in school and work hard at learning.

So would I be unreasonable to text her and suggest that the families do their own thing for a bit tomorrow to give everyone some space. Admittedly I am pretty sure the DCs are telling the truth DS1 has ASD and is very honest. Plus the DDs story matched up as well. But I'm not sure if I should push my sister to talk about it or just let it go.

OP posts:
Mysteriouscurle · 26/08/2017 22:24

You should avoid your sister for the rest of your life! Sounds completely exhausting. I couldnt get on with anybody that treated my dc like that

snackarella · 26/08/2017 22:25

I'd be furious! She got her time alone and you can't have yours because she can't cope with that many kids!
She sounds far too much hassle for my liking and if I were you I'd reply something shitty and say that you'll spend the day with your own kids tomorrow and see them (never! ) another day.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/08/2017 22:28

Your sister sounds like a sadistic narcissist. The level of cruelty she bestowed upon your children is shocking. It seems to me she deliberately humiliated them in order to glorify her own kids. How sick. She may be your sister, but that doesn't mean she should be in your life.

Chocolatecake12 · 26/08/2017 22:29

Yes do your own thing tomorrow. Sounds like too much hard work with all the children together and your sisters competitiveness.
In future do not holiday with them.

converseandjeans · 26/08/2017 22:31

Doesn't sound like much fun. I would give her e wide berth tomorrow and make a joke of it with your kids. So take the mickey out of her. She sounds like she couldn't cope too well. Also sounds like she is desperate to justify home schooling.

ohlittlepea · 26/08/2017 22:31

Thats really nasty. Id avoid for the rest of the holiday.

Mrskeats · 26/08/2017 22:34

I echo the attempt to justify home schooling
Definitely avoid her; forever possibly.
Batshit crazy

missmollyhadadolly · 26/08/2017 22:34

Yes, avoid her for the rest of the hols.

An awful way to treat kids in your care.

She has her hang ups but she cannot be allowed to take them out in your DC.

PeaFaceMcgee · 26/08/2017 22:36

Yes, do your own thing forever. She sounds seriously messed up and emotionally dangerous tbh. Her poor kids!

YellowFlower201 · 26/08/2017 22:37

Yes I'd avoid her. I wouldn't leave the children with her again. She sounds deranged!

BackforGood · 26/08/2017 22:38

Just a really weird thing to even be doing on holiday - couping up 6 dc in a caravan, testing them Hmm

I don't think you are going to be able to convince her that it is her, and not you, but I agree, I'd just avoid doing things with her / spending time with her.

arkestra · 26/08/2017 22:39

I feel sorry for the sister's kids! Yes a bit of breathing space tomorrow - and perhaps (once people have had a chance to calm down) suggest that quizzes aren't the way to go if you can face leaving yours with her again, try and get some agreement on what might work instead, some more collaborative/ less competitive activity.

But I think you'd be doing well if you manage to make it work. Sister sounds a bit socially lacking in common sense to be honest. Why do all-or-nothing prizes in that situation? Madness.

AtrociousCircumstance · 26/08/2017 22:40

Do everything you need to do to show your kids that you support them, and you're not going to betray them by half-arsing around trying to please your sister.

She sounds horrific. Her poor kids.

arethereanyleftatall · 26/08/2017 22:43

Omg, she sounds like an absolute twat.

KERALA1 · 26/08/2017 22:43

She sounds unwell frankly. That is not normal behaviour.

Your poor kids! Imagine trying to be on holiday, a nutter fires questions at you then tries to humiliate you. What larks!

Mrscropley · 26/08/2017 22:44

Nc forever. .

butterfly56 · 26/08/2017 22:45

She's a complete nut job and you need to tell her to stay away from you and your children.

Handsfull13 · 26/08/2017 22:48

I would distance yourself a little but if the dcs all get along when your sister isn't meddling then get together but keep her distracted so the kids can enjoy themselves.
I wouldn't push her to talk about it, you trust your dcs and her is only going to get defensive.
Take this as a lesson and don't let her watch the dcs again

Sandsnake · 26/08/2017 22:49

If your kids' account is true (and I'm not saying it isn't) there is something very deeply wrong with your sister.

rainbowpie · 26/08/2017 22:50

I'd be avoiding her forever. She sounds really cruel. Deliberately making a child feel small and stupid is sick.

Gemini69 · 26/08/2017 22:51

She is VILE OP Flowers

ChasedByBees · 26/08/2017 22:52

I think you need to protect your children and that may mean going no contact.

You could tell your sister in a non confrontational way that you know about the quiz and don't know what she was trying to achieve apart from making your children feel bad about themselves.

They're meant to be her family, she's meant to care for them too. She obviously doesn't and would be prepared to hurt them to be 'right' and better than you.

Noideawhatelseicando · 26/08/2017 22:54

Your sisters attitude towards your children was disgusting. Her main purpose was to make your children feel inferior and not good enough, when she as the adult purposefully rigged a child's game.

If that was my sister I'd avoid her after this incident. It wasn't that she couldn't cope with 4 children, she just couldn't cope with the truth that your children were stating. Do not offer to look after her children again, so that she can saunter off with her hubby.

kittybiscuits · 26/08/2017 22:55

If you are in your own caravan, in your shoes, I would be long gone by morning. Permanently.

BellaNoche · 26/08/2017 22:56

I would doubt your children would make up such a complicated fib...
they are telling the truth and your sister has serious issues.

Run for the hills... and take your lovely children with you, I'm sorry they were so upset by her. Have a wonderful time on your ownxx

Swipe left for the next trending thread