Lost my best friend over my period!!

[Forheavenssake]

Some one please tell me I'm not insane!! As the title says I actually lost my close friend over my period last weekend!!
Last weekend I met with my friend who i have known 19 years! In weathersspoons.
I was wearing beige trousers and it was coming up to 10pm and getting very busy as it's on a bar stretch pubs everywhere.
And to my absolute horror i leaked all over myself! I was not due until four days later so didn't expect this at all and no bodily warning signs no cramping, any way we see sat down at this time in one of the booths, my friend was wearing a red dress with a jacket AND bought her coat.
I quickly told friend I just leaked and my crotch was now bright red ( the shame ) and could I please use her jacket to just tie around my waist casually just to get home to change/ wash
She said NO!
I said please, il wash it if anything gets on it and give it right back the next day! I was pretty much begging her !
She refused and said no she paid to much money for it and didn't want it ruined!
I was so bloody upset I got up said " cheers mate" drank my drink and left!
Humiliation as I walked out the busy place with red all in between my legs ( don't know if anyone noticed) it's was ALOT of blood :(
I understand she didn't want to get blood on it but I just wanted it to cover my bum to quickly run out, I live down the road!! I would of washed etc and come back, I'm really upset ild never let her or anyone of my friends feel the way I did that night. I texted her two days ago but have no reply. What the hell is her problem! Was I unreasonable to ask to quickly use her jacket ?

The fact that you already had a tampon inside means that this was not the first time you realized your period was coming

Not sure I understand your point. It can come on quite suddenly and it doesn't take a lot of blood to leak though. If you're not expecting it, you probably wouldn't notice until it's too late. I usually have cramping around the time it's due so I am on the lookout so to speak but it does arrive quickly and quite heavily for me too. If I had no cramps, this sort of thing could happen to me.

Ive never looked upon my cramps as a positive before, but they always started 12-24 hours prior to bleeding so atleast i had a warning. Periods are so unfairly unpredictable.

"it doesn't take a lot of blood to leak though"

OP says it was "A LOT of blood".

If that actually happened, with no spotting beforehand, it could be bad news and is worth checking out.

I don't think op had a tampon inside, when she was not expecting her period for another 4 days.

I leak through suddenly. It started happening at around the age of 39 and I'm now 51. I've been checked out and apparently have polyps, but there has been no mention of any intervention.

I feel your pain, OP and am really surprised that a friend refused to help you to cover your embarrassment. I would personally help out a stranger in that situation, never mind a friend.

No she's not germ crazy I have known her almost20 years
No I Didn't have a tampon in as wasn't expected to bleed

Periods don't normally gush out without at least a bit of spotting first. They can't. It's not like there's a reservoir in there that just opens its doors.

I've had heavy periods since I was a teen. I'm now 48, and while sometimes I might get a bit of spotting first, it's usually the case that the first I know of a period is the wet feeling in my knickers. In fact, I usually get blood before I get any cramps, so no warning there.

People are wildly different.

Oh my god, she's a horrible person, sorry OP but she really owes you an apology. I think most people would definitely give you something to cover up with in that situation 😕

OP
Trousers ruined

Ok, I know I'm playing devils advocate here but if your trousers are ruined then maybe your friends concern that her coat would get ruined wasn't that unreasonable after all. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It could have been a favourite jacket and could have been expensive. You can easily pay a £100 for a jacket from Marks.

I have periods like this OP.. I use an app on my iphone to keep track.. so I'm usually prepared.. however.. flooding does happen unexpectedly ..

I feel heart sorry for you... I'd also help any lady in Period Distress x

Stop referring to her as a friend. She isn't.

You have my sympathy. I am 51, perimenopausal and have had bad flooding for the last few years. It is often mortifying. Had you been with me I would have done whatever I could to help.

@Forheavenssake I had the coil fitted recently too and sometimes it does just come from nowhere. Month three now and things are dying down but in my first month I was in bed with my husband and there had been absolutely no sign of anything happening before we started getting busy. Five minutes later I realised something didn't feel right and turned on the lights. 😱 Needless to say I spent the next day bleaching my naice new bed sheets.

Your "friend" is a turd. Also I'd like to add I once gave a dress to a bride who had a misfortune. Felt dreadful for her and thankfully I had a bag with clothes in the car as I was going back to uni the next day and we didn't live together. We didn't know her. My (then boyfriend) was in the band. I let her have the nice dress I was wearing and just got some jeans and a top out of the car. Her mum was with her in the loos for an hour trying to make it for better with hair Pins and a hotel sewing kit. 💔 felt so bad for her

Every single month my periods start with a gush, they always have. Thats why I wear a pad when it is due, just in case and why I ended up in a mess when I started early on a day out to Legoland.

FFS, why cant some people accept that we are all different and just because it has never happened to them doesnt mean it never happens to anyone!

Sounds like you are well rid of that 'friend'

I cannot believe the debates on here over the accuracy of the OP's bleeding pattern...

no two women are the same....

I was thinking that YWNBU and she WBVU until you announced that your trousers were ruined. The whole premise of this thread was that her jacket would be fine/fine if washed/blood comes out easily etc. So I'm struggling to see how your trousers could be ruined and at the same time her jacket would be fine.

Don't be wrong, if I'd been with you, I'd have risked my jacket. But I do hate inconsistency.

Horrible for you OP. Like others I'd have given you my coat or done whatever I could to help. For you or a stranger.

Your 'friend' should be ashamed of being such a terrible person. I hope all your other friends rally round you. Keep your chin up tonight

That's awful
Similar happened to a friend. I gave her my cardigan to wrap round her middle
That woman is no friend OP

nocoolnames how would holding/ tying a jacket round your waist get it stained with blood?

The OP was only going to wear it to leave with some dignity, not sit on it for an hour.

TBH even if my jacket was worth £100 or over I still would have let my friend use it and risk ruining it.

That's just what a decent human being would do!

I'm certainly not rolling in money and have a few nice things that have taken me a LONG time to save for but being a good friend and stopping your friend from feeling humiliated is more important than a decent coat, I'm shocked anybody wouldn't see that.

Holding a jacket around you while you walk out a pub isnt going to ruin it, she lived a few minutes away, she was hardly going to bumshuffle to get home!

Oh that's so mean if her, I'd definitely keep her at arms length unless she apologies profusely in the next few days!

quercuscircus

Given how many people have waxed lyrical about how easy it is to get blood out of clothes, why are the trousers ruined?

FFS I'd have lent my worst enemy a jacket to avoid that humiliation. She's not a friend.

was nocoolnames the supposed 'friend' in question ?