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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay this childminding bill

546 replies

Ellie6578 · 26/08/2017 11:49

My one year old goes to a childminder 4 days a week whilst I'm working since October last year, I've had no issues so far.

My dd visits her dad for 2 weeks every 6 weeks, so she doesn't go to the childminder during these times (he lives up north and I'm down south) however I understand that I still have to pay for her missed days in order to secure her place (her dad pays for these 2 weeks of missed time) and that's fine as my contract states I have to pay for 4 days a week even if my dd doesn't attend.

She came back this week after only 4 days of being with her dad unlike the normal 14 days. This was because her dad had to go to Germany for a few days for work and my little girl really would not settle with his mum.

I messaged my childminder and said my dd had come home early and would she be able to have her tomorrow as normal. My childminder stated she could not have her for another 4 days as she had taken in another child for childcare which took up my daughters space. Ok I thought, my mum took time off work to look after her.

I got the invoice yesterday and I've been charged for those 4 days even though I was told my daughter couldn't go in because she had filled her space! So if I paid for it, the Childminder's earning double for half the work. Aibu not to pay for those 4 days?!

OP posts:
SauvignonGrower · 26/08/2017 15:34

Do make it clear that you were left out of pocket by her re-selling your space because you had to pay someone else to care for your child.

And, assuming she doesn't refund, write a letter making it clear that you pay for 4 days, regardless of whether you use them, and that in future you will not give prior warning as to when your DD will attend.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 26/08/2017 15:35

Yabu, your changed your mind at the last minute and as your DC was away the childminder rightly filled in her space, you'd have had to pay either way.

Roomster101 · 26/08/2017 15:37

If you book a hotel online and pay for it and then cancel it with short notice, you normally have to pay full price
The hotel then sells that room but you can't ring the hotel and say you've changed your mind, you want your room back, even if you have paid for it

Firstly why would you cancel the room anyway if you had already paid to use it? Secondly, If they decided to sell it to someone else and you turned up to use it they would have to give you your money back. They can't keep the money if the room is no longer available by claiming them that you phoned them to cancel it.

Roomster101 · 26/08/2017 15:37

If you book a hotel online and pay for it and then cancel it with short notice, you normally have to pay full price
The hotel then sells that room but you can't ring the hotel and say you've changed your mind, you want your room back, even if you have paid for it

Firstly why would you cancel the room anyway if you had already paid to use it? Secondly, If they decided to sell it to someone else and you turned up to use it they would have to give you your money back. They can't keep the money if the room is no longer available by claiming them that you phoned them to cancel it.

insancerre · 26/08/2017 15:40

Lots of reasons to cancel a hotel room, illness, car problems etc

insancerre · 26/08/2017 15:41

Secondly, you can't turn up to use it if you've already cancelled it

Leaspr · 26/08/2017 15:42

She didn't tightly fill the space. The OP is paying the money to keep the place open regardless or not as to whether she uses it. If she doesn't use it then the childminder gets paid for doing nothing. So that space is OP's no matter what. I don't understand how people aren't getting this. I do think it's fair that CM is given fair notice if she is to have the child however it isn't within her rights to fill the place either way. It's a slot that has been paid.

Leaspr · 26/08/2017 15:43

She didn't tightly fill the space!? I meant she didn't RIGHTLY fill the space!

grandOlejukeofYork · 26/08/2017 15:44

Which is why the hotel room is a bad analogy.

Its more like if you had reserved a hotel room for a month, paid in full for a month, and were going home at weekends. But you have paid for every single night of the month even though you know you won't want it at weekends, so that you have the one room for the entire month
Now imagine that the hotel, without telling you, was letting somone else sleep in your bed, in your room and charging them for it, even though you had paid for it in full so that you had exclusive reservation of that room.

do you see? That is what the CM has done.

Tanith · 26/08/2017 15:44

Roomster101 I explain to parents why that clause is there and they sign up to it. Nothing unfair about it at all.

If they mess me about in the way you describe, then I give notice and offer the place to a family that won't treat me so disrespectfully.

NachoAddict · 26/08/2017 15:45

If you have to pay to keep the space then you should've able to use the space. The childminder is being unbelievably cheeky to charge you for childcare that she won't provide.

Roomster101 · 26/08/2017 15:46

Lots of reasons to cancel a hotel room, illness, car problems etc

I am not asking why someone would decide to not use the hotel room! I am asking why anyone would bother phone the hotel up in advance and cancel the room if they had already paid for it in full. I might phone the hotel up that evening at let them know I wasn't coming but I certainly wouldn't give advance notice because as you say, you might change your mind so why restrict options?

ElizabethShaw · 26/08/2017 15:48

The problem isn't so much that she resold the space (though this is pretty cheeky - if she was intending to resell two weeks out of 6 rather than keep it available for the op she should have charged a reduced retainer fee rather than full price) but that she is charging two people for the same space while knowing it won't be available to one of them. She should not be charging the OP for something she had no intention of providing.

Bringmewineandcake · 26/08/2017 15:48

Our nursery does this, not sure why the angst over the CM doing this. If DD is on holiday for a week they offer her sessions to other parents. Those parents pay for the sessions, and yes the nursery makes a profit. It's a business, the CM isn't doing any favours.

HeebieJeebies456 · 26/08/2017 15:50

It's like plane tickets fiasco......you pay up and reserve a space/seat only to be refused upon entry because the flight is overbooked!

Anyway, i thought your ex paid for those 2 weeks?
He's still responsible for arranging/paying for childcare in 'his' time even if he's physically not there

Roomster101 · 26/08/2017 15:55

Roomster101 I explain to parents why that clause is there and they sign up to it. Nothing unfair about it at all.

People sometimes sign unfair contract terms because they feel they have no choice. That is why you can't just put anything you like in a contract and expect it be legally binding.

Dumdedumdum · 26/08/2017 15:55

She should have had the wit not to charge you for the four days as you will never feel the same about her now and a lot of childminding decisions go on reputation, talk at the school gates etc.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 26/08/2017 15:58

I'm not understanding some posters on here at all.

If you paid monthly for a car parking space would you be happy for another car to use that space if your car wasn't parked in it? and what would you do if you turned up to use it and another car was parked there, would you then be happy to pay to go and park in a car park. Would you think that the owner of the space was being fair to you?

Roomster101 · 26/08/2017 16:01

Our nursery does this, not sure why the angst over the CM doing this. If DD is on holiday for a week they offer her sessions to other parents. Those parents pay for the sessions, and yes the nursery makes a profit.

If they offered the space to someone else and then you DD couldn't go on holiday for some reason they would have to let your DD into the nursery or refund.

It's a business, the CM isn't doing any favours.

Yes, it is business and that is why they have to act ethically. If they don't then it wouldn't be in OP or anyone elses interest to let the nursery/childminder know that they were going on holiday.

Roomster101 · 26/08/2017 16:04

It's like plane tickets fiasco......you pay up and reserve a space/seat only to be refused upon entry because the flight is overbooked!

They have to refund or put you on another flight and compensate you though.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 26/08/2017 16:04

It doesn't matter whether it is the OP or her ex the fact is the CM is being cheeky.

OP and her ex were happy to pay CM when their DD wasn't there. They recognised that it would be difficult for CM to fill that gap but CM has not been fair to them at all. She should have said - on this occasion I have filled DD's space so, unfortunately, if your plans change I won't be able to have DD but obviously I won't charge you for these sessions. OP understood when CM said she couldn't have DD but she didn't then expect to get a bill for those sessions. Why would she pay for something she couldn't access. It is ridiculous to think that OP should pay.

Roomster101 · 26/08/2017 16:06

Would people think it fair if their landlord rented out their room/house while they were on holiday or do people get the fact that if you are paying for the room it is your space whether or not you use it and the landlord can't take two payments for the same thing?

LucieLucie · 26/08/2017 16:07

Speak to her, it may be a mistake.

A retainer is usually 50% of full fee to hold a space but in these circumstances.

If she's charging full fee despite knowing months in advance of the pattern where your child won't be there then re selling her space I'd say she's greedy and unprofessional.

If your paying for that space then it's yours. She's been caught out.

thegirlupnorth · 26/08/2017 16:08

I wouldn't want to pay but rather than it affect your daughter and make relations difficult I would on this occasion but state that if you are paying to reserve the place you expect it to be available if you need it and if it's not you don't think it's fair to pay it in future.

CottonSock · 26/08/2017 16:10

Bloody cheek of her!

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