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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbours car has been in my garden for 3 months

565 replies

PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:14

first ever thread but I wanted some opinions from the outside

neighbours came to me in early May to ask if they can use our drive for two weeks, they bought their DD a car for her birthday as a surprise.
fair enough I thought no problem

the car is still there.

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

my DD is 14 month and has just started to toddle so would like front garden back to make safe ( weeding, gates) for her to play in and I can sit on the door step whenever she wabts to venture outside.

we managed to catch him last week and told him we want to do our garden for DD (can't use back garden, subsided and v unsafe) and asked if he had an idea of when he was planning to shift his car

two months!!! we were quite shocked because he was very matter of fact, no apology etc and dp said "it's kind of taking the piss" and neighbour shrugged it off. it's the end of October...

aibu to want my garden back before October so I can let my DD run loose in her own space whilst we may still have sunny weather/ light evenings??
part of me feels selfish because we don't drive so don't have a car therefore a "drive way" in the literal meaning isn't needed. but our garden IS the drive way.

I'm quite timid and have no idea how to go about this whole situation so I was hoping some mumsnet opinions might help me figure out what to doGrin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Gemini69 · 26/08/2017 11:56

this is appalling.. these people was walking all over you and your garden OP Flowers

stop being kind and generous.. snap out of it lady x

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 26/08/2017 11:56

Some people are just unbelievable. Good luck, OP!

TestTubeTeen · 26/08/2017 11:56

Is it private rental?

I would be less than happy if I was the landlord and neighbours were colonising the drive without your permission. Even with your permission!

I don't know what the respective legal rights are but as I say, as a landlord I would be cross.

bluegrape · 26/08/2017 11:57

What reason did he give for needing to use your garden to park the car in the first place?
I can't get my head around why you agreed to this if the neighbour has a drive and there is plenty of road parking. Confused

golfin · 26/08/2017 11:57

Does he actually live next door OP? Your last post suggests he may not.

bluegrape · 26/08/2017 11:58

It's the equivalent of you allowing him use your bath because he doesn't want to clean his bathroom.

PuppyMonkey · 26/08/2017 12:03

Just trying to imagine the CFN's thinking:

"I have my own drive which I don't even use.
I know, I'll ask the new neighbours if I can use their drive for DD's new car.
I'm just going to leave it there for months and months.
"I'm a very reasonable person, me."

OP, good luck with that conversation you need to have, I don't see it going smoothly. Confused

Hidingtonothing · 26/08/2017 12:03

Whatcha, it's because it actually happened on a parking thread once! The OP had contacts at the RC and was at the end of her tether so the team came round and moved the car.

4691IrradiatedHaggis · 26/08/2017 12:05

OK, just seen that they actually have their own drive that they don't use.
WTF. Screw the giving them notice to move.
Tell them it needs to be gone by the end of the day!

IloveBanff · 26/08/2017 12:07

"plenty of space to park on our road, they park their car outside their house and have a drive they don't use."

Shock WTF?

CoalitionOfChaos · 26/08/2017 12:12

"Please move your car and park it on your own drive immediately"
End of conversation.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 12:14

no he's across the road but two, next door on one side are lovely and the other side disappeared when we moved in, but were also lovely.
cant even remember his name anymore. his wife and him knocked on at 7pm originally, whilst I was half way through putting a grumpy toddler to bed so I just agreed two weeks and rushed them away as DD was screaming for her cot.
they did give me £10. which I refused but they insisted. I have a feeling they think I'm much younger than I am, though.
Will see what happens. I've even done my eyebrows for the occasion for a little boost Grin

OP posts:
boringrobot · 26/08/2017 12:15

So he has an empty drive of his own that he could park the car on but he is using yours instead. The cheek!

boringrobot · 26/08/2017 12:19

Also, if you are renting and you have rented the house with use of the back garden which you can't actually use because it is dangerous, you should contact your landlord and either ask for a rent reduction (you are paying for something you can't access safely) or ask them to make it safe for you.

eggsandwich · 26/08/2017 12:22

Time to hoist those big girl pants right up and tell him. You have until Friday and if it's not moved you will have it towed away his choice.

MrsOverTheRoad · 26/08/2017 12:23

Push it out onto the road if he doesn't remove it immediately.

TeachesOfPeaches · 26/08/2017 12:27

Jesus, they seen you and DP coming didn't they. Why is your DP leaving you to deal with it if he knows you've got no confidence?

Tro11Hun73r · 26/08/2017 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 12:33

my dp is lovely, but thinks differently to me. he thinks that having the car there "makes our home look safer" and that it's keeping peace with the neighbours. yes not really bothered by it other than hearing me harp on

OP posts:
Puffpaw · 26/08/2017 12:44

Like robot I don't understand why you are not tackling the landlord about the back garden, or why you rented it in the first place? Have you spoken to the council? I'm not sure the house sounds fit for occupation?

sounsureofmyrights · 26/08/2017 12:51

I may just be a cynical bat - but as it's taxed and MOT'd and they have their own space they could easily be parking in that they're not using at all, plus a street without parking issues; my first thought is it may have started out legitimately but now may be some sort of debt or bailiffs recovery issue hiding behind this and they don't want it either on their drive or the street where interested parties' might run the reg through to see if it belonged to them and could therefore be seized as an asset.
Or it's been involved in something and they don't want it connecting them.
It's either something similar or he's a nasty piece of work who feels once he's got something out of someone he now has rights over them and can do as he pleases.

Something's not right here, and it has hallmarks of more than just CFN. You need to take the high ground and create some evidence of what's been going on (copy of letter below) and that it hasn't been because you were OK with it.

I'd suggest a letter stating the original agreement and it's reason, how long it's actually been, and give a date of a few days time* by which it must be removed and what the consequences/action will be if it hasn't gone. Don't give reasons, excuses, just facts. Make sure you can and do follow through.
(*because making it easier for him to vanish it if there is a bigger issue than fuckwittery, may be in your interests, not because he deserves consideration)

Sprinklestar · 26/08/2017 12:56

You could always tell your landlord it's been dumped there and get them to deal with it?

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 13:11

nobody answering the door. dogs there though. we are off out as it's sunny but will try again when we get back and report back to you all!

OP posts:
MrsOverTheRoad · 26/08/2017 13:16

I suspect that you will find they're never in as long as it's you knocking OP.

I'd do something about it such as informing them by letter that you want it removed by such and such a date....give them two days, that's MORE than fair.

And say "If the vehicle isn't moved by this date and time, we will be having it towed."

happypoobum · 26/08/2017 13:17

Agree with PP this is Cunty Neighbourness and you have to put your Big Girls Pants on.