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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbours car has been in my garden for 3 months

565 replies

PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:14

first ever thread but I wanted some opinions from the outside

neighbours came to me in early May to ask if they can use our drive for two weeks, they bought their DD a car for her birthday as a surprise.
fair enough I thought no problem

the car is still there.

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

my DD is 14 month and has just started to toddle so would like front garden back to make safe ( weeding, gates) for her to play in and I can sit on the door step whenever she wabts to venture outside.

we managed to catch him last week and told him we want to do our garden for DD (can't use back garden, subsided and v unsafe) and asked if he had an idea of when he was planning to shift his car

two months!!! we were quite shocked because he was very matter of fact, no apology etc and dp said "it's kind of taking the piss" and neighbour shrugged it off. it's the end of October...

aibu to want my garden back before October so I can let my DD run loose in her own space whilst we may still have sunny weather/ light evenings??
part of me feels selfish because we don't drive so don't have a car therefore a "drive way" in the literal meaning isn't needed. but our garden IS the drive way.

I'm quite timid and have no idea how to go about this whole situation so I was hoping some mumsnet opinions might help me figure out what to doGrin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
BarbaraOcumbungles · 26/08/2017 10:15

Just tell him to move it.

Notreallyarsed · 26/08/2017 10:16

Tell him he's got to remove it, or you'll have it towed, and he'll get the bill. He's at it, and you shouldn't have to justify why you want your own garden back.

Softkitty2 · 26/08/2017 10:17

Tell him to move it or have it towed. Some people are unbelievable.

If you give an ultimatum make sure you stick to it.

KatyBerry · 26/08/2017 10:17

The laqueen advice would be to report it abandoned and claim ownership on the basis you have tried to contact the owners. Copy them on the report, and it will presumably stir them into action

notanotherNC · 26/08/2017 10:19

Tell him he has until Monday to move it, if not you will take action to get it moved yourself. Don't be a door mat.

woollyminded · 26/08/2017 10:19

You have two options. You go and knock on the door and say that you need the car to be removed by [date]. You can smile, say I hope your daughter enjoys the car and then go home. You do not say sorry, you do not give all the reasons you have put in your post, you just let them know it's time to move it off your property.

Or you live with it.

C0untDucku1a · 26/08/2017 10:19

What Katy said. Ridicukous behaviour.

Can you not weed the garden before it is moved?

Nocabbageinmyeye · 26/08/2017 10:19

Tell him you want it moved immediately, be firm, why are you being so nice? Feck tensions, he is walking all over you, why would you care?

Knock knock
You: Hi neighbour, you asked for two weeks, it's been months, it needs to go, now, get your shoes on
Neighbour: I told you it would be October the other day
You: it's gone within the hour or it's reported as stolen and abandoned on our property

I never understand threads where people let people walk all over them so they keep the peace

MoveOnTheCards · 26/08/2017 10:19

Why on earth have you let it sit there for so long then ask when they were thinking of moving it, rather than telling them to just move it!

I would be reporting it as dumped and getting it towed by now. Is it taxed?

ShatnersWig · 26/08/2017 10:20

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

THEY are causing tension, you are not.

Give them notice that it's to be moved within 7 days or you will contact a scrap dealer and ask them to remove it as the legal owner has dumped it (which by refusing to move, he has effectively done). And follow through with it.

At the same time, I would go online and see if the owner has filed a SORN for the vehicle and if not, report that too.

sonjadog · 26/08/2017 10:20

There isn´t a way to get rid of it which avoids all conflict (apart from letting it sit there until October). You need to do what the posters above suggest.

Redsippycup · 26/08/2017 10:21

Tell him builders are coming next week to build a wall so you can make it a 'proper' garden, and if he doesn't shift the car you will plant tulips in it and use it as a flowerbed.

Then do it Grin

Moanyoldcow · 26/08/2017 10:22

Knock on the door,

'Hi neighbour. Please can you move your car by tomorrow morning? I need the garden for my use.'

If they refuse you may need to seek advice from a solicitor. This is a really difficult situation legally. Is the car taxed and insured?

notallthosewhowander · 26/08/2017 10:22

I'm assuming it's there while his daughter takes driving lessons and the October date is when her test is booked in for. Leaving the car on your drive is saving them money on road tax and insurance whilst she's a learner driver as they can sorn it off road for the time being. What pisstakers!

Drastic measures but you could get it towed off your drive, it's not your problem and they should be paying to keep it. You could also say to them that your DC WILL be using their front garden to play in and wouldn't it be unfortunate if something got damaged accidentally....

minoandolphin · 26/08/2017 10:22

DP told him he was taking the piss, so sounds like he doesn't mind having words with him. Can he go round and tell him to remove it? (Again, as everyone said, no apologies, no explanation, it's your garden, your space, he is absolutely taking the piss).

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:22

I have no idea if it's taxed, how do I find that out? and no can't weed until it's gone, it's parked over where the weeds grow through the concrete.

I know I'm too soft, i am with everything, and dp is a people pleaser. I think that's why I came to Mumsnet to help me grow some balls Blush

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 26/08/2017 10:22

Encourage DD to have a rake as her her new favourite toy and she really likes to draw doesn't she???!!!

Scabetty · 26/08/2017 10:22

Say you thought about his two months statement and it doesn't work for you. Can it be gone by end of week as you want to get a shift on before weather changes.

mickeysminnie · 26/08/2017 10:25

Are people really this wet that they would have someone massively take the piss and their overriding concern is not upsetting the piss taker??
Seriously grow a backbone, tell him to move it! What justification would he have to refuse?? HE is in the wrong, he knows he is in the wrong, but he will try to gaslight you if you let him!

ItBroke · 26/08/2017 10:25

You are much too nice. I'd speak to them ASAP and tell them it has to be moved

QuestionableMouse · 26/08/2017 10:25

PM me the registration number and I'll check for you.

EsmeMargaretNoteSpelling · 26/08/2017 10:26

www.gov.uk/check-vehicle-tax
Pop the reg into this website and it will tell you if it is taxed. I would bet money it isn't which is why he doesn't want to move it. You can insure and tax a car on line so there is no reason he can't move the car today.

PurpleWithRed · 26/08/2017 10:27

He is causing tension with his neighbours: he is not a good neighbour. Sadly he has shown his true colours and you can not expect a nicey nicey relationship with him. You need to woman up and tell him that two weeks was acceptable but two months is unacceptable, he no longer has your permission to leave his car on your land, and he needs to move the car by xxx or you will get it towed onto the road. Then do it. Nice but firm.

(and the reward yourself with whatever you like, you'll have done a very good thing)

mickeysminnie · 26/08/2017 10:28

As for "I am too soft", "dh is a people pleaser" those are not admirable traits! People don't look at you and think "oh they are so sweet they let us walk all over them and then check to see if we would prefer to wear high heels to do it some more"
People just think you are weak and can be used and taken advantage of!

EyesUnderARock · 26/08/2017 10:30

You need to take the advice given here. Just as a warning...it took me a lot longer than I expected to pass my test. If you don't do something, that car could be squatting for a lot longer than two months.
I'd go down the warning, report, tow route.