Selling something that I gave for free

[Wilberforce2]

Just been on Fb and a family member has shared a link from a selling site to a really nice piece of furniture that I gave them last year. Furniture was hardly used but when my step son moved in it wasn't big enough so I gave it to family member and we bought a new one. They now obviously don't want it anymore and are selling it for £100, I don't expect any of the money because if I wanted money I would have sold it but I can't help thinking you shouldn't sell something that someone gave to you for free? I would have preferred her to give it away to someone else or to charity.

AIBU or not?!

No, they are given in good faith with thought and consideration - not as commodities to be traded.

So when someone no longer wants a gift, it suddenly isn't theirs to do with what they like? If you give something to someone it becomes theirs to keep, to sell, to throw out the window. It's theirs.

I would normally think this was a bit cheeky tbh. But we're in a situation where MIL gave us a car 4 years ago and we're now selling it as we have bought another. So now I'm not sure if we ABU for doing that?

If they had turned around and sold it soon after you had given it to them, I'd understand being upset. But after a year of them using it? YABabitU I'm afraid.

Some people can't be bothered selling things, so just give them away. Others have gotten into the habit of selling things when they get rid of them. It's not likely they did it on purpose. They were treating the furniture as one of their belongings, not something borrowed (ie yours).

You didn't give them furniture because they needed it, you gave it to them because you didn't.

Pretty much 50/50 then, I guess everyone is different.

It's not about the money whatsoever and I wouldn't take it if it was offered it's just the principle of it, they didn't buy it we gave it to them and they are now going to make money on it, that just feels wrong to me! Of course I don't want them to bin it and for it to end up in landfill but stick it on FB asking if anyone wants it or give it to a charity shop!

I would normally think this was a bit cheeky tbh. But we're in a situation where MIL gave us a car 4 years ago and we're now selling it as we have bought another. So now I'm not sure if we ABU for doing that? confused

Make sure you give all the money to the charity of your MIL choice or offer all the cash OR do the normal thing and put the money towards the new car or something you need!

If it had been a week then I'd have said yes rude but it's been a year!.

Are they supposed to keep it forever just because someone gave them something.

I know you said give it away but I'm not sure it's really anything to do with you now, I don't mean to be harsh.

A few years ago someone begged me for a smartphone I was keeping as a spare, theirs had broken, couldn't afford to replace it etc. they promptly sold it on an auction site. Shortly afterwards they came back for a nice coat, I told them that I'd just given it to the xyz charity shop and it would still be there if they really wanted it. Coat is still in my wardrobe

If it's not about the money, then why are you getting upset? Because, really, in some way, it is about the money isn't it?! It's because you never wanted money for it, so you THINK it's not about the money.

Let it go, the furniture wasn't yours once you gave it away.

I wouldn't expect them to have kept it forever, but I would have hoped that they have it given it away rather than making a profit.

AuntieFester, that's different. You weren't giving it away because you didn't want it, you only gave it to them because they needed it. What they did was low. (And well done about the coat!!)

There was a similar thread on here ages ago and it was the same premise only it was baby clothes that had been given for free and were being sold.

My opinion is still the same.

If someone has extended the hand of kindness and generosity to you and given you something for free, it's classless and tasteless to then sell it on at a profit.

There will be those who disagree with me but it's just a low thing to do.

So if I pick up a sofa from freecycle, or from the freebie section of Gumtree, use it for a few months, then want to buy a new sofa, I have to give it away and can't sell it? Or can I only sell it if the person is a stranger and not family?

Or if I buy something for £100 can I only sell it for that much or less? I can't sell it for £150?

Where does it end??

By using common sense.

I think I'd have contacted you to say 'hi, that great wardrobe (or whatever) you gave us last year? We don't need it anymore because [reason] so thanks so much but do you want it back? If not will be selling it, is that OK? Happy to split proceeds?'

You'd given it away so half the money from their going to the bother of listing it, dealing with people coming to look at it, etc etc would seem like a nice payback to me. & would give you the option to say ' oh we will have it back please, I know someone else who'd be glad of it'.

But tbh I wouldn't lose sleep. It's been a year!

No sleep will be lost, it has to be something pretty major for that to happen! I just wondered what everyone else's thinking on this was.

it's classless and tasteless to then sell it on at a profit.

If you are that bothered about gifted items, then do not give anything to anyone. Someone does you a favour by taking your unwanted items, why do you care if they go through the faff of selling it, and get money for it? Someone sells a gift, and use the money for something else they need. I really cannot see what the big deal is.

Why do you think you should have a position of power over someone when you offer them a gift, and can decide what they do with it? It's strange.

why is it rude?

Everything on MN is rude! You can't sneeze without offending someone here.

I have never sold anything in my life. I give away stuff I no longer want. Once it's gone its gone. I couldn't care less what happens it once I have gotten rid of it. You weren't really giving it in the first place if it was conditional and if you didn't state the conditions at the time of giving then I fail to see how it impacts you in anyway.

Well it's either a gift to them to do what they like with, or it's a loan. I have a family member who always wants to offload stuff on me (think me saying "oh I'm looking at new curtains" and them saying "oh don't buy any, I've got some" etc etc. But they always make it hugely clear "oh I loved this, might want it back some day hahahaha" that it's never really going to be seen as mine and as such I just don't want any 'gifts' from them again. I can't live my life thinking everything isn't mine really. And I couldn't give a crap if something I gave away got sold. If isn't bothered to sell t myself I could have had the money, as I didn't and gave it away, if it has value then that person gets it!

There weren't any "conditions" I just find it cheeky that they are trying to make money in something that they didn't buy! I would have passed it on for free.

Anyway I'll let them get on with it, at least I know for the future.

Let's say you give a toddler bed to someone, for free. The child grows up, so the parents then sell the bed, and use that money to pay for part of the new grown-up bed. How is that wrong?

It's the same with selling anything, because you can then upgrade to something more of your taste or needs.

I honestly do not see what the issue is. Do you resent people for having received something for free?

If they didn't need it any more, they should offer it back to you....or at the very least ask if you're OK if they give it to charity!

I'd be pissed off, but since it was given, it's theirs to do whatever they like with.

It is cheeky imo. We passed on some baby stuff no longer required to family, when they finished with it I found out they sold it on at a car boot. Much rather they hadn't profited from it but didn't say so, more appropiate to pass onto charity.

TalkingBoutNuthin
You are absolutely right, they specifically asked for the phone, different scenario. I just wanted to share that I felt "used" too.
OP I wouldn't lose sleep over it, personally I would have made the polite gesture of offering the sofa back before selling it but maybe I'm old fashioned.